Would Harry and Marv actually survive Kevin McCallister’s booby traps in ‘Home Alone’?
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If you are going to enjoy watching “Home Alone” this season, you’ll need to suspend your disbelief here and there as you delve into Kevin McCallister’s world of idiotic thieves and —ahem — parents.
One of the most unrealistic parts of “Home Alone” is the film’s sequel, “Home Alone 2.” Any parent who left their child alone over Christmas while they kicked back on a first-class flight to Paris would not make that mistake twice. My mom forgot to pick my little sister up from elementary school once, and for years after the incident my sister left notes such as, “Don’t forget to pick Gabrielle up from school” all over the house.
Sure, Kevin is not completely faultless in getting lost at the airport in “Home Alone 2.” But you would think his parents would double-, or even triple-check that he was on their flight before it took off. Of course, if they had, there would be no sequel. So, like I said, suspend disbelief.
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There are a few other moments that leave viewers scratching their heads, wondering: How do none of Kevin’s siblings notice he’s gone? Why didn’t Kevin go to a friend’s house? Does Kevin have friends? And how did Kevin get tar off the staircase?
But the most unrealistic part of “Home Alone” is the survival and persistence of the “Wet Bandits” — Harry and Marv. The McCallister house probably has some high-quality goods the sneaky pair could make a decent profit off of, but is re-selling a used television and stereo system worth getting your head torched? Harry thinks so.
Maybe it’s more about getting revenge on an 8-year-old who continually outsmarted you and shot you in the face with a BB-gun. Whatever the Wet Bandits’ motivation was, it somehow kept them alive.
I know I probably wouldn’t get up again — maybe ever — after getting nailed in the face with a hot iron. So how long would the Wet Bandits actually survive in Kevin’s booby-trapped mansion?
Iron to the face
When Marv finally finds his way into the McCallister home through the basement door, he pulls a light cord, which sets off one of Kevin’s biggest blows all night. A hot steam iron comes tumbling from the floor above, smashing Marv directly in the face.
According to Dr. Ryan St. Clair of the Weill Cornell Medical College, “This is a serious impact, with enough force to fracture the bones surrounding the eyes. This is also known as a ‘blowout fracture,’ and can lead to serious disfigurement and debilitating double vision if not repaired properly,” per the Week.
Marv gets up more quickly than most any person could, with only a red imprint from the iron on his face.
Grabbing a hot door knob
On Harry’s first solo attempt at getting into the house, he grabs a burning hot door knob. He maintains his hold on the door knob for about 3 seconds, until he sticks his hand in the snow for relief.
“If this doorknob is glowing visibly red in the dark, it has been heated to about 751 degrees Fahrenheit,” St. Clair told the Week. “Assuming Harry doesn’t lose the hand completely, he will almost certainly have other serious complications, including a high risk for infection and ‘contracture’ in which resulting scar tissue seriously limits the flexibility and movement of the hand, rendering it less than 100 percent useful.”
For comparison, the American Burn Association reports that one second of exposure to water that is 155 degrees Fahrenheit can cause third degree burns.
Harry wraps the burned hand in a bandana and makes his way to the back door for another attempt at the house.
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Burned by a blowtorch
Harry opens the back door, which sets off a blowtorch, and his entire head catches on fire. He dunks his head in the snow to put it out.
“His skull is literally going to rot, which is something you typically only see in high voltage electrocutions, not necessarily guys who chose to stand in front of fire for longer than they needed to,” according to Looper. “With timely treatment, a transplant may be able to save him, but the outlook is not too great.”
If I were Harry, there is no way I would come back from this one. I don’t believe any normal person could. Getting a transplant seems more important than completing a robbery, but his hate for Kevin pushes him further into the “fun house.”
Stepping on a nail
This is probably one of Kevin’s least traumatic attacks on the Wet Bandits, but for some reason, it makes me cringe the hardest. It doesn’t help that minutes later, a still bare-footed Marv steps on glass Christmas ornaments.
Walking around bare-footed through the snow and streets with an open wound like that would probably result in a nasty infection.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one of the most common causes of tetanus are puncture wounds — like stepping on a nail (or sharp glass) — which exposes a person to the bacteria that cause tetanus.
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Paint cans to the face
To keep the bandits from getting deeper into the house, Kevin throws paint cans from the second floor, smashing Harry and Marv directly in the face.
”Assuming the paint can is full (roughly 10 pounds) and the rope is 10 feet long, Marv and Harry each take a roughly 2 kilo-newton hit to the face. That is easily enough to fracture multiple facial bones, and is probably going to knock you out cold. Also, I wouldn’t expect either of the Wet Bandits to walk away from this with all of their teeth,” said St. Clair, per the Week.
Would Harry and Marv survive?
Probably not. And even though they somehow do, the fact that they never give up must count for something. The Wet Bandits leave viewers reevaluating just how dimwitted they are when they pursue Kevin again in “Home Alone 2,” which is an arguably worse experience than they had the year before.
