Gwyneth Paltrow (Unsuccessfully) Tries to Convince Us That Beyoncé Is Basic
In our minds, Beyoncé is a mystical creature. As she struts down the street, doors automatically open in front of her, her music is playing, a wind machine blows her hair just so, and a trail of fairy dust covers the sidewalk behind her. She’s not like us. She’s Beyoncé.
So we just can’t buy what her pal Gwyneth Paltrow is selling in the new Harper’s Bazaar when she calls her basic. “Dialed down,” “very shy” — how dare you lie to us about something so important, GP?
The goop guru was asked what the Lemonade singer is really like, to which she replied, “If you met her and you didn’t know who she was or what she did, it would be inconceivable to you that she was Beyoncé. Some really famous people, even when they’re off duty, have this energy that is sort of overpowering. She does not have that. She is so dialed down.”
Paltrow continued, “She’s the sweetest mother. She’s very shy. You would not believe she is Beyoncé Knowles. You would be like, ‘No, that was not her.’ And that’s why when I see her perform, I’m like, “Oh, s***, I forgot.”
The one thing that Gwynnie said that we do believe? “She doesn’t make grilled cheese. Definitely not. I make the grilled cheese.”
Thank goodness. Picturing Queen Bey doing something as mundane as making grilled cheese — with or without a sparkly apron and the most amazing high heels — would have ruined our lives. Not exaggerating.
“The Real Gwyneth Paltrow” is the title of the interview, which was conducted by Samantha Bee, and there are some amazing pictures of the actress/entrepreneur’s trip to the grocery store. She talks a little about her kids (she describes daughter Apple as “super ballsy” and says she always follows her lead) as well as getting advice from her parents, Blythe Danner and the late Bruce Paltrow. Her dad was a straight shooter and once called her an a**hole. It changed her life.
“I remember when I was maybe 27 years old and kind of at the height of my movie stardom — it was around the time of the Oscar and this and that,” she recalled. “I think I was very much believing my own hype, which how could you not? I was sitting with my dad, feeling great about my life and everything that was happening, and he was like, ‘You know, you’re getting a little weird. … You’re kind of an a**hole.’ And I was like, ‘What the hell?’ I was totally devastated.” But it turned out to be basically the best thing that ever happened to me.”
The best thing that ever happened to her — other than befriending the not-at-all-basic Beyoncé, of course.
