The Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial is being turned into a musical

It’s been an “intense year” for Gwyneth Paltrow.

The Academy Award-winning actress dominated headlines this spring when she (fashionably) sat on trial in Park City. Retired optometrist Teri Sanderson sued Paltrow for a “hit-and-run” ski crash after the pair collided in 2016 on a slope at Deer Valley Resort, as reported by the Deseret News. The jury found Paltrow not at fault for the incident.

Paltrow has kept a relatively low profile in the time since.

Less than a month ago, the actress-turned-health-guru boldly declared: “Nobody will ever see me again,” in an interview with Bustle.

But Paltrow might be out of luck. Her legendary ski trial is getting the musical treatment. A musical version of Paltrow will take to the stage in London.

This December, Pleasance Theater in London will transform into Deer Valley Ski Resort for a musical based on the events shared in the Paltrow-Sanderson ski trial.

“Gwyneth Goes Skiing,” promises audiences “a story of love, betrayal, skiing, and (somehow) Christmas,” and asks showgoers to play jury, per Pleasance Theater.

“She’s the Goop-founding, Door-Sliding, Shakespeare-In-Loving, consciously-uncoupling Hollywood superstar. He’s a retired Optometrist from Utah. In 2016, they went skiing,” the official synopsis begins. “On the slopes of Deer Valley, their worlds collided, and so did they — literally. Ouch. Seven years later in 2023, they went to court. Double ouch.”

The 90-minute production features original music by singer-songwriter Leland (Cher’s “Christmas,” Troye Sivan’s “Something To Give Each Other”) with Linus Karp as Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Martin as Terry Sanderson.

Related

• Gwyneth Paltrow found not at fault: An in-depth timeline of the Park City trial

• Twitter mocks Gwyneth Paltrow’s Park City ski trial, compares to an SNL skit

Three years after Paltrow and Sanderson collided on the Park City ski slopes, the retired optometrist sued Paltrow for $300,000 in damages, claiming the incident left him with “feelings of being unable to cope with life,” a brain injury and four broken ribs, as reported by the Deseret News.

Paltrow countersued, only seeking “symbolic damages” of $1, claiming Sanderson “plowed” into her back, delivering a “full ‘body blow,’” per ABC News.

“Mr. Sanderson skied directly into my back,” Paltrow said from the witness stand, per The Washington Post. “I froze and got upset a couple seconds later.”

Paltrow recalled feeling confused when she felt a body pressed against her. “I was confused at first and didn’t know exactly what was happening,” she explained, per The Washington Post. “I thought, ‘Is this a practical joke? Is someone doing something perverted? This is really, really strange.’ My mind was going very, very quickly and I was trying to ascertain what was happening.”

The high-profile trial attracted mass public attention. Fans compared Paltrow’s testimony to an “SNL” skit or a script written by filmmaker Mike White, creator of the hit HBO show “The White Lotus.” Paltrow’s courtroom wardrobe sparked a slew of memes and her handsome “Clark Kent” attorney went viral on Twitter, now known as X.

It was only a matter of time before the now-infamous trial got a stage adaptation. Here’s to hoping we get a catchy musical number based on Paltrow controversial parting words — “I wish you well.”