In a new interview for InStyle's December issue, Gwen Stefani gives more insight into the years leading up to her divorce with Gavin Rossdale.
"I didn't tour at all," Stefani says about her last years with Rossdale. "But I did record the No Doubt album, which was super hard. I was torn the whole time. Every day I would take the kids to school, drive to Santa Monica, work on the album, and then I'd think, 'Oh my God, if I don't leave by 2:30, I'm not going to get home in time for dinner. And Gavin being on tour... I'm not going to say there weren't some incredible moments making that album. But it was a lot of knocking my head against the wall. A lot of struggle."
Stefani filed for divorce from Rossdale in August, after 13 years of marriage. The singer-songwriter cited "irreconcilable differences" in her divorce petition, asking for joint custody of the couple's three sons: 9-year-old Kingston, 6-year-old Zuma, and 1-year-old Apollo.
Stefani refers to Apollo's birth as a surprise "miracle." She gave birth to her youngest child when she was 44, and she revealed that the experience put her in "a whole new spiritual place."
"I was trying at the time to do more music with No Doubt. Then I got pregnant, and I was like, 'OK, well what am I going to do now? I need to make some changes,'" Stefani says. "There's only so much energy."
This stance was a far cry from her attitude after her first pregnancy. Stefani shares that she initially had some reservations about entering into parenthood.
"In the beginning, I didn't want to think of myself as a mother," she says. "I was like, 'Wait a minute! Ain't no hollaback girl is who I am!' I had to learn quickly to accept it. Being a mother and having a career -- those are just different roles you play. You're still the same person you were before, but now you're more because you're a mother too, with a lot to do."
Now, Stefani is entering a new phase of motherhood - co-parenting. Her split came just weeks after her Voice co-star Blake Shelton parted ways with his wife of four years, Miranda Lambert. On Wednesday, Shelton's rep confirmed to ET that he and Stefani are dating.
Still, it's fellow Voice coach Pharrell Williams whom Stefani credits with "helping [her] with a lot of stuff" in terms of freeing up her creativity.
"I was in a closed-off period before that. I couldn't write, and I didn't feel confident," Stefani says. "There were hard times before the baby, personally, that were just not good. And then having Apollo, and being on the show, and being refreshed -- it was just like, 'Whoa!'"
While she has walked away from her marriage she might not be parting ways with her Dior wedding gown.
"I do save a lot of stuff," Stefani said on the set of her photo shoot. "I'm just nostalgic."
Stefani's InStyle cover hits newsstands Nov. 13.