A Groom Wants to Disinvite the Mother-of-the-Bride for Calling Him 'Stingy'

In a post shared to Reddit, a groom-to-be says his future mother-in-law called him "stingy" and complained about the size of the engagement ring

<p>Getty</p> groom at a wedding

Getty

groom at a wedding

A groom-to-be wants to know whether he's in the wrong for threatening to disinvite his fiancée's mom from his wedding after she called him "stingy" and complained about the size of the engagement ring.

In a post published on Reddit, the groom, who identifies himself as 34-years-old doctor, says that he and his 31-year-old fiancée, Emily, are footing the bill for their own wedding.

"We talked it through and I suggested we have a more chill, smaller wedding and save our money for a downpayment on a bigger house," he writes in the post.

He explains, "I make significantly more than her (she’s a teacher and I’m a doctor) so I told her I would take care of the majority of expenses like the venue, catering, and planner if she just paid for her dress and smaller stuff like that."

<p>Getty</p> mother of bride note

Getty

mother of bride note

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Last week, he adds, his future in-laws hosted a pre-wedding party for the couple, "and her mom kept making comments about how she can’t believe how small our wedding will be or that we’re not hosting it at the fancy hotel downtown that’s 'just so much better and elegant' than what I chose."

What's more, he adds, "I even overheard her talking to her sister about how small the diamond is in Emily’s ring and that it’s embarrassing a doctor won’t treat her daughter better (I spent about 5k which I thought was fair)."

"She just seemed so hung up on the fact that her daughter is marrying a doctor but the wedding/ring aren’t on a 'doctor level,' " the groom-to-be writes. "Based on what I know, I think she is a little embarrassed about her family’s socioeconomic status, and was hoping her daughter marrying a doctor would help 'improve' her image to her friends and extended family."

Emily, he adds, was "extremely embarrassed" by her mother's behavior "and kept trying to tell her mom it was fine." But her mom told Emily, “You need to learn to stand up for yourself."

"This is when I just lost it and told her mom she can be uninvited from the wedding if she has so many problems with it and is embarrassed by how 'cheap' I am," the doctor says.

<p>Getty</p> groom's mother adjusts the boutonniere on his suit

Getty

groom's mother adjusts the boutonniere on his suit

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Commenters have voiced their own opinions on the matter, with many saying they agree that the poster should disinvite his future mother-in-law.

"This sounds incredibly exhausting and selfish — she’s ruining the atmosphere of a special day for her daughter and for you. I hope this doesn’t foreshadow how she’ll be throughout your marriage," one commenter wrote. "Sounds like a nightmare.

Another implored the original poster to "be sure to get a prenup," adding: "And set clear boundaries about how much access MIL gets to you, your home, your family plus assets going forward."

Another commenter said the situation should lead to "a serious conversation with Emily." They added, "Is she really okay with the plan you've made for your wedding, or would she like to invite more people, for instance? Just make sure you don't steamroll your fiancée into agreeing to something she may not actually want."

Others were less convinced that the groom had cause to be so angry. One person wrote, "You don't have the right to uninvited the brides mother. What does Emily want? And does Emily want just a small wedding and down-payment for a house or is her mother speaking some level of truth here about Emily's wishes?"

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