Grey's Anatomy recap: 'Puttin' on the Ritz'

“It’s time to get things started on The Muppet Sh–… Crap.” Meredith has been watching way too much kids’ TV. But it served her well as she was able to bookend tonight’s 200th episode celebration with some classic lines we all know and love. “Tonight, what heights we’ll hit,” she assessed in the style of Bugs Bunny as Mer and Der — two docs who are supposed to be on parental leave — prepped for another all-nighter in the ER just like in the olden days. “On with the show. This is it.”

The landmark episode centered around a fundraising gala, thrown by Avery and despised by all (except Derek, who can juggle, and April, who’s hilariously delighted by magic…of course she is), to help tide Grey Sloan Memorial over until its insurance check from that literally deadly storm comes in. That’s how it works in TV Seattle: no gala, no electricity. You do the math. It all somehow adds up to 200.

This party had everything: unicycles, a sleeping baby, a tightrope walker, chandeliers, face paint, a woman’s tibia impaled on her foot, fire breathers, beaks, Moulin Rouge extras as waitresses, and spiky-haired weirdos in…skeleton suits? Maybe I dreamt that one. It looked like the scene in Girls Just Want to Have Fun when the “party people” crash Natalie Sands’ coming out party. (Jugglin’ Derek Shepherd would totally be the Jeff Malene of Grey’s Anatomy. I guess Sandra Oh would be Helen Hunt? It doesn’t really work.)

So much for the “tasteful, sophisticated, and conservative” snoozefest Avery had promised. After having the docs compete to see who could swindle the most money out of local billionaires (10 percent of the night’s takings would go to the department that raised the most money), Avery decided what the hell, why not just go balls-to-the-wall liberal? He invited the donors to come watch a surgery. And that’s all it took! Where could they write the checks? And how, exactly, does one write a check? (These billionaires were generally portrayed as idiots.)

Meanwhile, between life-affirming surgeries, our favorite McLovin’ It couple was off in the exam room, doin’ what they do best — just like in season 2, during the prom. Nice throwback! This time it’s less glamorous — he’s covered in blood and she’s wearing a sweatshirt. But that’s just the way life and love go. On with the show! Bodily fluids are it.

NEXT: If your wife’s telling gala-bots you’re dead, by all means get drunk in the closet

My favorite parts of the episode surprisingly involved April — the scenes with her and Arizona getting trashed in the supply room were so fun, and such a departure from the relationship doom/drama we’ve seen from both of those characters lately. I started loving April pretty much right after she took her first sip of alcohol — go figure. She was so cute protesting, “Dude, come on, you were telling a story!” after Arizona called her out for making the same judgmental face people usually toss her way as a recent cheater/lifelong gay person.

The drunker they got, the more delightful this unlikely pairing became. Who knew that in order to get her spirits up, Arizona would have to go back into the closet?

Best line: “Are we talking about Matthew or Jesus?” wondered Arizona after April finished raving “He accepts me for what I’ve done. That’s everything.” So funny. Meanwhile, at the sexy circus, Callie was pulling the “dead wife” card in an effort to charm her way into more donor money. Hey, useless intern Leah, can you get them some more booze?

“AND SNACKS!” –April

Over in more sober lands, Miranda Bailey very happily abstained from frilling herself up for the gala. As the hospital’s new owners enjoy reminding her, she is not an owner of the hospital. Besides, someone had to stick around and become the MVP of the 200th episode by rearranging stretchers until Dr. Webber finally changed his mind about the whole wanting-to-die thing.

Webber’s new roommate, a racist old cancer patient named Gene, was steadfast against entering an assisted living facility. The ailing former chief had brutally hurled Dr. Bailey — as well as the breathing device she’d been begging him to use — against the wall. But faced with a new terror beyond the confines of his negative thinking, Webber was able to snap out of it. Gene could have it worse than a home with freaking bunny rabbits out on the sunny front lawn. “You could die in that bed. This room, this hospital could be the last place you see,” said Webber, realizing he should listen to himself: “You don’t wanna die here.” YAY.

Progress was all around: At the gala, Owen at first awkwardly but then eagerly got his flirt on with Emma Marling (guest star Marguerite Moreau), a doc over at Seattle Pres. who’d hijacked the gala — and Owen’s stories — to raise her own money. You can’t really blame her. All these hospitals need lights! Plus, it’s Owen. “Do you want me to say it?” she asked. “Look at you.” Whoa! Major self-esteem surge for Owen. Maybe he should take Cristina’s “date other people” mandate to heart after all…

NEXT: Shark metaphors win surgeries

Cristina gave up the chance for random new-person sex after the gala, while Owen surely capitalized on his. But Cristina’s the one who waltzed away with a huge, overflowing-with-zeroes check. Her evil laugh as she flounced away from “Richie Rich, Pretty Hot” was so delicious. I didn’t think she looked too depressed as she left Owen to run into the arms of another woman. Sad, but determined. Not regretful, not yet. She’s so strong. Ask her, she’ll tell you.

Yang re-experienced a taste of her former “rock star intern” status, recognizing Dr. Shane, who’d gone hog wild in taking ownership of procedures beyond his prowess, as one of her shark kin. Yang had to swoop in and correct Shane’s mistake on ALEX’S FATHER, but she praised the kid anyway. “You see what you want. Do whatever it takes to get it. Like me,” Cristina advised Shane. “And never apologize. Sharks don’t apologize.”

Infused with the shark blood of the best heart surgeon in the universe, Shane unapologetically kisses Stephanie, his partner in near-crimes for the night. Of course Jackson, Steph’s barely-boyfriend, walked in on them. She desperately explained that she wasn’t asking for Shane’s smash-kiss; what she really wanted was for Jackson to kiss her…and for him to have invited her to the gala. Jackson made a grand speech about improving their communication “if you and I are gonna do this,” but there was no (shark) spark in his eyes. He’s just not that into her, right?

Didn’t mean to save Alex’s major story line for last: Dr. Karev recognized one of three unnamed high-as-a-kite patients (Dexter‘s James Remar) as maybe his drug addict father who bailed on him when he was young. So his publicist for the night, Jo, who is really smart, encouraged him to take a paternity test so he could stop feeling like someone just poured ice water down his neck. Then she jumped the gun on Karev’s Luke Skywalker moment, blurting out “He’s your dad!” just as Alex begged her not to tell him either way. Agggh! She’s so sorry.

That’s pretty much it! What did you think of Grey’s 200th? Do you like Emma as a potential like-interest for Owen as much as I do? Were there other old-school references I missed?

Discuss!

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