Granger Smith's Wife Reflects on Year She Discovered 'Joy and Grief Can Coexist' After Son's Death

Granger Smith and his family have been through a lot this year.

On Monday, the country star’s wife, Amber Smith, reflected on the array of emotions her family experienced in 2019, including the immense grief they felt following the death of their 3-year-old son River.

“2019 – The year that brought me to my knees. The year our beautiful red-headed boy turned 3 & went Home,” she began in a lengthy post, which she shared alongside several family photos, including a stylized portrait of River walking hand-in-hand with Jesus as Amber and her husband stand with their son Lincoln, 5, and daughter London, 7.

“The year that broke my heart into pieces but also tempered my spirit,” she continued, acknowledging that in addition to 2019 being “the year I cried every day for 6 months straight,” it was also “the year I became the closest to God I’ve ever seen” and “the year I found out that joy and grief can coexist.”

In June, River tragically died in a drowning accident at home. The singer shared the “unthinkable” news on Twitter and Instagram, revealing that “despite doctor’s best efforts, he was unable to be revived.” River was laid to rest on June 11.

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2019 - The year that brought me to my knees. The year our beautiful red-headed boy turned 3 & went Home. The year that same sweet boy saved 2 other lives. The year that broke my heart into pieces but also tempered my spirit. The year we started The Smiths. The year we moved from our home and all the memories we made there. The year Linc turned 5 and started kinder and London started 2nd grade. The year that I became the closest to God I’ve ever been. The year I cried every day for 6 months straight. The year London lost 3 teeth and turned 8. The year we ministered to hundreds about grief and hope. The year we vowed to not let anything tear our family apart. The year we promised to find meaning and not reasons. The year Granger and I became closer than ever before. The year my eyes were truly opened to what is important. The year we’ve never felt more love from our community. The year I found out that joy and grief can coexist. The year we dove back into the fire to help other grieving parents. The year that changed me. The year of the blue butterfly. The year I learned that I am not in control. The year that solidified that I can’t live this life without God. I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since we held our sweet Riv and that we will be starting a new year without him physically with us. Through this sadness, I’m hopeful for all that is to come. My goals for the coming year are to grow the @theriverkellyfund and help as many people as we can, keep London and Lincoln thriving despite the heartache of the past year, grow in grace and faith with my Maker, share our story in the hopes of helping others, and be in the present moment, because as much as we want to plan and dream, today is all we have. This moment. Each day, whether good or bad, is another gift from God. I hope to live it with gratitude and compassion for others. I hope to continue to surrender my battles, because in my weakness He is my strength. I hope to forgive myself little by little. I hope to keep bringing people to the Kingdom and sharing the love of God that I have felt so strongly. (Continued in comments)

A post shared by Amber Smith (@amberemilysmith) on Dec 31, 2019 at 7:28am PST

RELATED: Granger Smith’s Wife Amber Reflects on the ‘Light’ That Was Always Around Their Late Son River

Amber went on to share that through their difficult year she’s become “hopeful for all that is to come.”

“I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since we held our sweet Riv and that we will be starting a new year without him physically with us. Through this sadness, I’m hopeful for all that is to come,” she wrote.

“My goals for the coming year are to grow the @theriverkellyfund and help as many people as we can, keep London and Lincoln thriving despite the heartache of the past year, grow in grace and faith with my Maker, share our story in the hopes of helping others, and be in the present moment, because as much as we want to plan and dream, today is all we have,” she added.

Amber Smith and son River
Amber Smith and son River
Granger Smith, Amber Smith and children | Granger Smith/Instagram
Granger Smith, Amber Smith and children | Granger Smith/Instagram

Continuing her message in the comments section, Amber wished all of her followers “joy in the coming year.”

“Know that as you head into a new decade, you are loved, you have purpose, you are stronger than you think, and you are never alone. Thank you for following along with us on this journey, for supporting our family, Granger’s music and our healing,” she wrote. “We really do appreciate all of your stories, messages, letters and prayers. Have a safe and joyful New Year’s Eve everyone – love from all of us.”

Leaving a supportive message, her husband commented, “you and your words…You’ve found your voice.”

“Love you more than you know,” Amber replied.