'Girls5Eva' 's Andrew Rannells Reveals Why He Doesn't Want to Have Kids: 'But I'm Happy If You Do' (Exclusive)

The actor and author of Uncle of the Year: And Other Debatable Triumphs tells PEOPLE about his ten nieces and nephews, his partner's two kids — and why he is happy to not have his own

Don't call him a "guncle." For actor Andrew Rannells, the popular portmanteau for "gay" and "uncle" is unwelcome — and infantilizing.

"I'm not a tangential character in my nieces' and nephews' lives, I'm their uncle," he tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "And it's a little cutesy. I'm a 44-year-old man."

Rannells — known for his roles on TV (Girls5Eva, Black Monday) and Broadway (The Book of Mormon) — writes about his significant breadth of experience with the 10 children of his four siblings in his new book of humorous essays, Uncle of the Year: And Other Debatable Triumphs.

Related:Jimmy Fallon and Andrew Rannells Put a Hilarious Spin on Broadway Classics with '2020: The Musical'

Also in the book of essays: how his former Girls co-star Allison Williams — "that show was a f-cking gift!" he says — calmed him during a scary plane ride.

"We were experiencing a lot of turbulence. The plane really seemed in peril, and she was so chill. She asked me, 'Why would this be the plane that went down?'"

Related:See How Andrew Rannells and Casey Wilson Prepped for the 2022 Costume Designers Guild Awards

He also recalls a very Hollywood, if awkward, experience with Sienna Miller.

"She has no idea who I am!" he says with a laugh. "It was not necessarily like super pleasant, but I hope the larger takeaway from that chapter is: Mark Ruffalo is a f---ing dreamboat."

But back to children — or the lack thereof. "I had this romanticized idea that when my brothers and sisters had kids that I would be the greatest uncle in the world," he says. "And it didn't really work out that way." (He jokingly notes he now knows one cannot "call a child an a--hole.")

Rannells also opens up about how the advancement of LGBTQ+ equality left him uncertain.

"It's very tricky now that we have the option to have kids," he says. "It was the same thing with marriage. When that became possible, everyone was like, 'You gonna get married?' And I was like, 'Well, I don't know.' "

He admits the interrogations left him reeling: "As my sister Natalie said to me very bluntly, 'Yeah. Welcome to my world.' "

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But when Rannells was in his late 30s, his friends began having children. "I had the luxury to think about it, to ask myself if I wanted kids," he says. "And the answer was no. And it was scary. I felt like maybe I should have done something differently."

So he consulted his mom. "I asked her, 'Were you always happy having children?' And the answer was no," he recalls, with a laugh.

He says over the years he came to the conclusion that he doesn't want to have kids. "But I'm happy for you if you do!" he adds.

But then came a plot twist a few years ago: "I met someone with two children," he says, referring to his partner, actor Tuc Watkins, 56, whom he met while they both starred in Boys in the Band on Broadway and later in the Netflix movie.

"And all of that clarity disappeared. Tuc is a wonderful father. I was confronted with the fact that I was in love with someone who did have two children. Could I make that work? And what is my role in that?" he continues.

One role it would not be? "It was not like Julia Roberts in Stepmom," he says.

For more on Andrew Rannells, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.

Uncle of the Year: And Other Debatable Triumphs hits bookshelves on May 16.

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