Here are some free ideas for that Jenna Ortega-Aubrey Plaza movie
On Sunday night at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza efficiently maximized their joint deadpan slay while presenting the award for Best Male Actor in a Television Movie/Limited Series. As they stood together onstage, they jokingly pretended not to understand why they would be paired together, or what they have in common, despite speaking in a nearly identical monotone.
Asked afterwards if she would ever collaborate with Ortega, Plaza said yes, and even threw her own idea for the film into the mix. “I’m down,” Plaza told Entertainment Tonight. “We’ll just kill everybody with our eyes.”
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Now that Plaza has verbally greenlit a hypothetical project with Ortega, there’s no time to waste. In the name of striking while the iron is hot, The A.V. Club has compiled a list of free ideas for a new Ortega-Plaza movie. Screenwriters of the world (who haven’t already started on a Plaza-and-Ortega-kill-with-their-eyes spec), crack your knuckles and load up Final Draft—there’s work to be done.
1. Freaky Friday remake
Freaky Friday (2003) Trailer (VHS Capture)
Fans have heard time and time and time again from Jamie Lee Curtis that a Freaky Friday remake is in the works— maybe it’s time to call on some reinforcements. Curtis and Lindsay Lohan’s version of the classic body-swap comedy may be timeless, but it’s an existing IP game in Hollywood these days. Even if the age gap isn’t exactly right, Aubrey Plaza and Jenna Ortega have enough more than enough virulent angst between them to pull off a fresh new version of this story. Here’s hoping they get a shot at it. [Hattie Lindert]
2. Grey Gardens remake (give them 10 years)
Grey Gardens (2009) | Official Trailer | HBO
What better way to highlight Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza’s brand of wonderful brunette weirdness than with a fresh take on the Edith Beales, a reclusive, upper-class mother-daughter duo first profiled in a 1975 documentary and later portrayed by Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange in a 2009 HBO film? So Ortega and Plaza might need a few years before they can age-appropriately portray the pair— the innate oddity, remarkable wardrobe, and potential for high stylization would make this adaptation worth the wait. [Hattie Lindert]
3. A weird, arthouse, spoken-word Chicago remake
Chicago | Official Trailer (HD) - Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones | MIRAMAX
So approximately five people would watch this movie. So three out of those five people would hate it. Why be out there at all, if not all the way out there? The possibility of crafting a strangely subdued and emotionally distant spoken word rendition of “Nowadays” set to a chopped and screwed version of Wednesday’s viral dance would be enough to gain this writer’s funding. All the rest is background noise. [Hattie Lindert]
4. Ortega and Plaza collaborate as voice actors on an Eeyore origin story
Tigger And Eeyore | The Mini Adventures of Winnie The Pooh | Disney
Now that A.A. Milne’s Hundred Acre Wood crew is squarely in the public domain, Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza could have their go at the material via voiceover. Eeyore’s deadpan has always leaned melancholy—as respective teen and grownup versions of the troubled donkey, Ortega and Plaza could imbue the character with some fire. If Piglet can be reinvented as an axe-wielding murderer, Eeyore can get a Bojack Horseman-style origin story. [Hattie Lindert]
5. Road trip caper
Thelma and Louise - Original Trailer | MGM
More often than not, the best recipes keep it simple, then mix in a few extra-special ingredients. A straightforward formula like a road trip buddy comedy, with the added spice of Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza’s passively menacing deadpan energy, would make for an absolutely delicious secret sauce. The cherry on top? Whatever unhinged press tour would accompany this project. [Hattie Lindert]
7. The Roommate remake
THE ROOMMATE - Trailer
Pairing Aubrey Plaza’s ability in depicting female obsession (Ingrid Goes West hive arise!) with Jenna Ortega’s scream queen status, a remake of this panned 2011 thriller would tap into both actors’ strong suits. So Plaza can’t exactly play college anymore; so what! Make the two roommates of randomly selected Craigslist origin and near-broke in a Harlem shoebox? That’s movie magic right there. [Hattie Lindert]
8. Cute, bitchy teen comedy where Aubrey Plaza plays the devil on Jenna Ortega’s shoulder
Emperor’s New Groove (1/8) Best Movie Quote - Kronk’s Shoulder Angel and Devil (2000)
Search Party’s Meredith Hagner plays the angel; Penelope Cruz plays Jenna Ortega’s slightly-too-fun-but-lovable mom and gets some well-deserved flowers for tapping into a comedic side. For some reason, Stanley Tucci has a supporting role and wears a fun blazer to the TCM Chinese Theater premiere. This movie features at least three different “picking out an outfit” montages. [Hattie Lindert]
9. Showgirls reboot/sequel/remake
Showgirls - Trailer
In the age of franchises, why not turn one of the greatest cult films of all time into the start of a sprawling epic? Jenna Ortega could step into the naive shoes of Elizabeth Berkley, while Aubrey Plaza would be a natural successor to Gina Gershon. This is another idea that few people would watch and fewer would enjoy, but why not? [Drew Gillis]
10. Trapped in a shark cage together
47 Meters Down Trailer #1 (2017) Mandy Moore Horror Movie HD
As a fervent supporter of the genre, the one thing B-movie horror is missing these days is strong banter. An Aubrey Plaza and Jenna Ortega pairing seems like the perfect antidote, and what better scenario for trading barbs than trapped underwater? Realistically, the shark should be the frightened one here. [Hattie Lindert]
11. Gay Corpse Bride
Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride - Original Theatrical Trailer
Picture it: The Corpse Bride meets Carol, with high-drama makeup and not a Johnny Depp in sight. Tim Burton, you have Jenna Ortega’s number— you know what to do. [Hattie Lindert]
12. Fun Home adaptation
Fun Home Performance Tony Awards 2015
Why not give Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza the opportunity to play the same character at different stages of life? Jake Gyllenhaal reportedly already owns the film rights to Fun Home, the Tony Award-winning musical about the life of Alison Bechdel. While he was supposedly slated to star as Bechdel’s closeted father, musical-to-movie adaptations are notoriously slowgoing—there’s still time to get Ortega and Plaza in the mix. [Drew Gillis]
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