Former owner of iconic Wilmington B&B details Alzheimer's caregiver struggles in new book
In 1995, Chuck Pennington and his partner of three decades, Dennis Marsden, acquired the Benjamin Beery House at 202 Nun St. They extensively renovated the fire-damaged 1853 structure, which had most recently been a shabby apartment house.
Marsden, an interior designer who had worked with hotels and business offices in the Washington, D.C., and Richmond areas, served as contractor.
Together, they turned the Beery House into The Verandas, one of Wilmington's top high-end bed and breakfasts. In 2014, Marsden died after a long battle with Alzheimer's disease. Pennington chronicles that struggle in "The Alzheimer's Caregiver Alphabet and More."
The "and More" part should be emphasized. This book is not a practical guide to the families and loved ones of dementia patients, although Pennington does underline the important lesson that caregivers must pause to care for themselves.
Rather, it's a scrapbook of a remarkable life.
The "Alphabet" part comes first, a series of meditations: "G is for getting up in the morning." Accompanying each letter are quasi-abstract watercolors by Wilmington artist-illustrator Nick Mijak.
What follows are articles on The Verandas, artwork by both Marsden and Pennington, a collection of recipes (The Verandas is known for its dining, and particularly its desserts) and assorted vignettes.
Pennington continued to operate The Verandas while caring for Marsden. As with all dementia cases, it was an exhausting and often heartbreaking exercise; as Pennington notes, one slowly grieves as the loved one slips away.
Yet there were lighter moments. For some time Marsden was entrusted with setting the table, a simple repetitive exercise he could handle. One fine summer day, however, Marsden decided to decorate the table for Halloween with reds and blacks and little bats all around. (When asked why, he explained that he couldn't find the Christmas decorations.)
Marsden also went through what Pennington calls his "Gilded Age" when he started spraying anything he could with gold spray paint.
Sharing such stories must offer some comfort to those in the trenches of dementia. Pennington, who sold The Verandas in 2022, adds a final, blank "Your Chapter" for others to add their own thoughts and stories.
Book review
'ALZHEIMER'S CAREGIVER ALPHABET and More'
By Chuck Pennington
Wilmington: SlapDash Publishing. $40, plus tax and shipping. For details on ordering "The Alzheimer's Caregiver Alphabet," visit carolinabeach.net.
This article originally appeared on Wilmington StarNews: The Alzheimer's Caregiver Alphabet and More by Chuck Pennington
