Former Disney Channel Star Karan Brar Opens Up About Struggles with Alcohol and Depression

Brar, 24, started experiencing depression in the summer of 2020 after his close friend and former co-star Cameron Boyce died from epilepsy

Former Disney Channel star Karan Brar is opening up about his mental health journey.

In a first-person essay for Teen Vogue, the Stargirl actor shares how he started developing symptoms of depression in the summer of 2020 after his close friend and former costar Cameron Boyce died from epilepsy in July 2019.

Shortly before Boyce's death, he, Brar and their friend, actress Sophie Reynolds, moved in together. Not long after the three became roommates, Brar, now 24, came out as queer, and while his friends were supportive, he found himself dealing with internalized homophobia.

After Boyce's death, things only became harder for the Stargirl actor. "I hadn’t dealt with my internalized homophobia, thinking that coming out to my friends was enough to eradicate that (it wasn’t). My mental health worsened, and my grief was unresolved," he wrote.

Brar went on to add that he had "been on a downward spiral since Cameron suddenly died." He continued, "With the pandemic putting the world on pause, I was forced to sit with myself. I refused to acknowledge how much pain I was in and isolated myself in a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Some of my friends knew that I needed help, but I didn’t for a long time."

Related: Disney Channel Star Cameron Boyce Dies at 20

Three years ago, after experiencing suicidal thoughts, the actor said he decided to admit himself to an inpatient treatment center for his depression and anxiety. While in treatment, Brar was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder.

"What many people may not realize is that suicidal ideations don’t necessarily appear overnight — instead they can take root and grow from one stray thought," he wrote. "Before you know it, you find yourself slipping into suicidal thoughts, making plans 'just in case.' It slowly chips away at your soul, leaving you in a state of helplessness."

The Disney actor continued, "There were only a few fragments left of my will to live, but I had enough to carry me to the doorstep of my treatment center — and I felt incredibly lucky knowing that. I’d spent years trying to fastidiously maintain a public facade, and yet there I was, fulfilling the Disney star rehab prophecy I had been adamant on avoiding. I was flooded with a sense of failure, but there was no turning back now."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human-interest stories.

Related: 'Jessie' Cast Pays Tribute to Cameron Boyce During Virtual Reunion: He 'Was Just an Amazing Soul'

Brar went on to share that he hasn't experienced PTSD symptoms in a while. In terms of his depression, the actor noted in his essay that he's currently in remission and on medication.

"I’m finding my emotions to be much more manageable," he explained. "I’m no longer drowning in the grief of losing Cameron. Rather, I’m in acceptance of grief being an ever changing experience I just have to see through. Everyone around me can also see these changes, and I can feel their shoulders dropping in relief as we go further into our twenties."

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.