Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth's ESRB rating promises impalement, skimpy outfits, and a "bodacious beach bod"

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth sounds like a pretty wild time in its newly published ESRB rating, which details teen-level content like impalement by sword, skimpy outfits, alcohol use and smoking, and a character bragging about their "bodacious beach bod."

Like Final Fantasy 7 Remake before it, Rebirth has a Teen rating under the ESRB broadly due to "Language, Suggestive Themes, Use of Alcohol and Tobacco, Violence."

More specifically, the ESRB says Rebirth has combat "highlighted by impact sounds, cries of pain, and explosions." There's also splatters of blood and "characters impaled or slashed by swords, sometimes with slow-motion effects," not to mention "an assassin throwing a spinning blade at a targeted figure" and "characters shot by soldiers." It goes without saying that word of a character impaled by a sword has raised red flags among longtime FF7 fans for obvious reasons.

Violence isn't the only element of Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth that warrants a Teen rating. According to the ESRB, "some female characters are designed with revealing outfits (e.g., deep cleavage)" and "suggestive dialogue sometimes accompanies camera panning/close-ups of characters' bodies/outfits."

One character apparently even spouts this gem of a line: "Just admit it. You're obviously captivated by my bodacious beach bod." The description doesn't name the character responsible for this act of brazen braggadocio, but to me it sounds like a Zack Fair thing to say.

There's some drinking and smoking going on in Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth that concerned parents should know about, although this won't surprise any big fans of the series. The ESRB says Cloud can drink "a version of moonshine while at a bar" and "cutscenes sometimes feature drunk characters slurring their speech."

"A handful of scenes depict characters smoking cigars or out of hookahs," the rating description continues. I'm looking at you, Cid.

Finally, you can expect your potty-mouthed party to utter such abominable sins as "sh*t, a*shole, and pr*ck" at various points throughout the story.

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth recently nabbed the coveted Most Wanted award at The Golden Joystick Awards 2023, and with this latest promise of all sorts of suggestive behavior, it's likely to only get more popular. The sequel launches February 29.

Have I mentioned Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth's open world was inspired by The Witcher 3 and Horizon?