Travis Kelce Vs. Gordon Ramsey, Kourtney Kardashian Vs. Paul McCartney, And 10 More Random AF Celeb Feuds I'm Dying To See In 2024
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Biggie and Tupac. Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. These are just some of the most iconic celebrity feuds in pop culture history. But in retrospect, they were kind of boring and predictable.
It's time to spice things up a bit. In 2024, I want to see the most random celeb mashups fighting over things that absolutely do not matter.
If I don't write a BuzzFeed headline like "You'll Never Believe Why Snooki And Stephen King Are Beefing" by the end of December, 2024 was a wasted year.
Here are a few feuds I'd LOVE to see this year — and some suggestions for how they can get started:
(Again, these are purely hypothetical and from my silly little brain.)
1.John Mulaney vs. Dolly Parton
Possible sources of beef:
—Dolly Parton is overheard at a Hollywood party saying, "John Mulaney could never write or perform 9 to 5, but I could totally write AND perform New In Town."
—John admits he didn't have any fun at Dollywood.
2.Kourtney Kardashian vs. Paul McCartney
Possible sources of beef:
—In an interview with Vogue, Kourtney Kardashian says, "Honestly, the last part of 'Hey Jude' is too long. Nobody wants to listen to all those na na na nanananas!"
—On the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy asks Paul if he's on Team Kim or Team Kourtney. Paul confidently says he's "Team Kim all the way. Kourtney is a bit of a sourpuss."
3.Travis Kelce vs. Gordon Ramsay
Possible sources of beef:
—Travis Kelce makes a TikTok of himself baking a cake for Taylor Swift's birthday. Gordon Ramsay duets it, calls Travis "an absolute melon head" for failing to sift the flour, and says the final result "looks about as appealing as my arse after food poisoning."
—Travis mentions in an interview that Gordon Ramsay's scrambled egg recipe "will never top the scrambled eggs you can order at Denny's."
4.Malala Yousafzai vs. Timotheé Chalamet
Possible sources of beef:
—Malala Yousafzai's secret Letterboxd account is made public, revealing that she gave half a star to Wonka and called Timotheé Chalamet "the worst kind of theater kid."
—Timotheé admits "Malala's hot husband is my Roman Empire."
5.Ronny Chieng vs. Meg Ryan
Possible sources of beef:
—Ronny Chieng admits he's never seen Sleepless in Seattle all the way through because every time he tries to watch, he passes out. ("More like Sleepy in Seattle!")
—Meg Ryan says she upgraded to YouTube Premium specifically so she "won't have to see that Ronny Chieng Old Spice commercial anymore. It played during EVERY ad break!"
6.Bella and Gigi Hadid vs. Seth and Josh Meyers
Possible sources of beef:
—On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the Hadid sisters reveal they preferred Mad TV to SNL because "at least Mad TV knows how to end a sketch."
—Seth and Josh Meyers reveal they've held a secret grudge against Bella and Gigi Hadid ever since they were turned away from the Victoria's Secret fashion show in 2013.
7.Mr. Beast vs. Bethenny Frankel
Possible sources of beef:
—Mr. Beast calls Bethenny Frankel "the worst cast member in Real Housewives of New York City history," reveals he was #TeamCarole, and criticizes Andy Cohen for being "too far up Bethenny's ass."
—Bethenny Frankel asks Mr. Beast when he'll go through puberty.
8.DJ Khaled vs. Greta Thunberg
Possible sources of beef:
—DJ Khaled's next big song includes the line, "I'm a mama's boy, but mama gave birth to a liar / If it comes down to Mother Earth or fame, I'll set that b!tch on fire."
—Greta says she hasn't heard any of DJ Khaled's music since "All I Do Is Win," and maybe he should name his next song "All I Do Is Lose."
9.Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino vs. Gwyneth Paltrow
Possible sources of beef:
—Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino launches a health and wellness brand and refers to his competition, Goop, as "Glop." When asked for a comment, Gwyneth says she doesn't know who "Mike 'The Circumstance'" is, but she offers to send him free supplements to improve brain function because "he clearly needs it."
—Gwyneth admits Jersey Shore: Family Vacation is her guilty pleasure show, but she says Mike "has a face no mother could love."
10.Olivia Rodrigo vs. Conan O’Brien
Possible sources of beef:
—Conan O'Brien gets caught on hot mic calling Olivia Rodrigo "kind of cringe."
—Olivia's next album includes a diss track called "Goofy Orange B!tch" that could either be about Conan or Gritty, and she refuses to reveal which one it is.
11.Pauly Shore vs. Steven Seagal
Possible sources of beef:
—In a standup set at The Comedy Store, Pauly Shore calls Steven Seagal's facial hair "face pubes." The audience doesn't laugh, but someone uploads the set on TikTok, where it goes viral.
—Steven Seagal goes on Joe Rogan's podcast and reveals (unprompted) that his least favorite nepo baby is Pauly Shore. Steven goes on to call him "Puny Short" and says he could take him in a fight "because I'm so much bigger than him."
12.Wolfgang Puck vs. SZA
Possible sources of beef:
—In a remix of "Big Boys," SZA changes the lyrics to "It's Pucking season / And now we've started feasting," about how everyone craves the comfort food at Wolfgang Puck restaurants this time of year. Instead of taking the song as a compliment, Wolfgang Puck is insulted because "people crave my food all year round."
—Wolfgang Puck pronounces SZA as "sah-zah" (rhymes with ta-da).
What random and unhinged celebrity feuds do you want to see in 2024? Drop them in the comments! 🤼♂️
