We must protect Rock M. Sakura at all costs.
The San Francisco-based queen — who makes her RuPaul’s Drag Race debut tonight on the second installment of the Emmy-winning reality show’s two-part season 12 premiere — breaks down in the Werk Room while discussing her emotional past in EW’s exclusive preview of the upcoming episode.
In the clip above, Sakura confesses that she needs to discuss why she’s been “shutting down” during the competition thus far, and reveals that it’s tied to a disturbing moment from her past.
“I have a whole bunch of triggers, but I feel kind of odd in leadership roles. I never want to be put into a position where I lead someone to feeling bad,” Sakura tells her season 12 sisters while they apply their makeup, and goes on to reveal her mother was addicted to meth. “She took me aside a couple of times and she wold say, ‘I’m addicted to drugs because of you. Because of you kids, I’m doing drugs.'”
Sakura begins to cry as she finishes her story: “I didn’t realize until yesterday that I have these triggers. When I feel responsible for other people, it puts me in a dark place,” she says, suggesting that she was elected as the team captain during the week’s challenge. “That always stuck with me because when you love someone so much and they tell you that you’re the reason for their unhappiness, it’ll mess with you a bit.”
In an exclusive preview interview with EW, upcoming guest judge and Swedish pop star Robyn said she has a soft spot for the show because of the individuality of the contestants and RuPaul‘s willingness to highlight community struggles, not unlike the one Sakura details in the video above.
“RuPaul has decided to protect the culture that he comes from. It’s a commercial show and it has been very successful, but I think he’s been open to the community while he’s doing it,” she said. “Of course, there’s healthy discussion about how drag culture is commercialized, and that’s an important discussion to have, but he’s done it in a good way. He’s aware, he’s smart, and he talks about the issues that concern the community. I could feel that when I was on the show.”