‘Escaping Twin Flames’: How to Break Up With an Online Dating Cult
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Every now and then a subject comes along that seemed compelling enough to the right decision-makers to somehow become the focus of multiple projects. Seeing the competition on the horizon, producers and distributors press their pedal to the metal instead of ceding ground. This is how we end up with two documentaries about the infamous Fyre music festival (Netflix’s Fyreand Hulu’s Fyre Fraud). It’s why the market tries to bear two limited series about Texas ax slayer Candy Montgomery (HBO’s Love and Death and Hulu’s Candy). And now, within a month of each other, the streaming gods have bequeathed us a pair of docuseries about the same online dating cult, Amazon’s Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Twin Flames Universe and Netflix’s new three-part Escaping Twin Flames.
It’s a tasty irony, a pair of raging narcissists getting the star treatment in dueling series, both fueled by the work of investigative journalists (Vanity Fair’s Alice Hines in Soulmate, Vice’s Sarah Berman in Escaping), both built around interviews with survivors, both laying the groundwork for reckoning and consequences that haven’t yet arrived. The narcissists are Jeff and Shaleia Divine, online spiritual hucksters who have made a fortune off their Twin Flames Universe Universe empire. Guaranteeing that members will find their Twin Flames (or true loves), and charging thousands of dollars to devotees to become coaches, Jeff and Shaleia have been accused by escapees of heinousness general (emotional abuse and manipulation) and specific (demanding specific gender identification of their clients, pushing them to stalk their objects of unrequited love, basically insisting that sexual consent is for wimps).
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The logical questions here are whether these series differ enough to justify the existence of both, and whether one is demonstrably better than the other (you have to think most people won’t make time for both). There can’t help but be a lot of overlap, including some of the interview subjects and video footage of the Twin Flame heads that provides plenty of damning material (lordy, there are tapes). But those of us tasked with watching both Soulmate and Escaping will also note variations. As the title suggests, Escaping Twin Flames is very much concerned with the question of how one pulls away from such a group. Or, as a recent escapee named Marlee puts it flatly, “It takes a lot of hard work to recover from a cult.”
To this end, the filmmakers enlist an expert of such matters, sociology professor Janja Lalich, who lends a hand to former members looking to re-enter reality and explains the challenges: “When someone is so deeply indoctrinated that they believe the leaders are, in a sense, their God, it becomes normal for them to go along with whatever they’re asked to do.” A group like Twin Flames Universe thrives by teaching its minions how to bully and humiliate their fellow charges. Think Lord of the Flies, except set in a video chat room among lonely, emotionally desperate seekers. Do the bidding of your overlords or get cast out into that cold, hard world that drove you to the promises of Twin Flames Universe in the first place.
Think ‘Lord of the Flies,’ except set in a video chat room among lonely, emotionally desperate seekers.
Jeff, who fancies himself a modern-day Jesus, likes to rant for his webcam: “I’m not being controlling or domineering! I’m not being a jerk!” Know who doesn’t say things like this? People are aren’t controlling, domineering jerks. Sometimes, Escaping Twin Flames resembles a hall of mirrors. Keely, a former Twin Flames coach, recalls the time Jeff had his charges watch the docuseries Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult, and told them to write an essay explaining why he wasn’t a cult leader. It seems the assignment convinced many of them that he was, in fact, a cult leader. Seduced was directed by Cecilia Peck (daughter of Gregory), who also directed Escaping Twin Flames. She seems to have a nose for these things.
From a critical perspective, it’s easy to wonder if or why we need two Twin Flames Universe series. From a purely human standpoint, however, it’s even easier to want some form of punishment for people who have created so much misery for others. Maybe two doses will prove more effective than one in bringing about this result.
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