'Empire' Recap: Riding the Bus with Cookie's Sister

Warning: This recap for the “Sinned Against” episode of Empire contains spoilers.

Ohhh, okay. Oops? Hey remember earlier this year when we were all fretting about how Empire’s second season might become overstuffed with distracting guest stars and have fewer interesting stories to tell, but then were relieved when the show seemed to have avoided those pitfalls? THIS was the episode we’d been fearing. Exactly this. Maybe I’m bitter about having to watch and analyze this episode while everyone else was out doing fun Thanksgiving things with their families (Toilet papering houses? Big game hunting? I don’t know your family), but “Sinned Against” was not great! It was not great, guys, and I am truly sorry about it.

We can start with the useless, almost intensely boring Alicia Keys storyline. (We can end with it too, considering that final “kiss” between her character and Jamal was, uh, questionable.) But there was a plotline about Lucious needing to do paperwork, and also an extremely distracting cameo by Rosie O’Donnell. Except for whenever Cookie was onscreen (duh), the episode was just lacking energy or a reason for existing. Even the music wasn’t great? It’s frankly mind-boggling how horrible that Pepsi song continues to be. I don’t know about you but I generally operate with a high level of goodwill toward this show, but “Sinned Against” was a real challenge for me personally. Let’s talk about it!

We began with arguably the best sequence of the episode: Cookie and Candice clomping around Philly looking for Carol.

I love Vivica A. Fox and her character is a really good one. I honestly could have just watched an entire hour of these two bickering about their differences, or the fact that Candice didn’t visit Cookie in jail even once in 17 years. (”I don’t do prison.”) Also, Cookie’s coat! An Emmy worthy coat. But yeah, any (hit) primetime network show that features Taraji P. Henson and Vivica A. Fox as loud mouth sisters is worthy of appreciation. If only the entire episode was this fun.

After last week’s admittedly amazing cliffhanger of a be-wigged Anika driving off with Laura in the back of her car, we learned that Laura was fine, nothing had happened, and Anika was now just simply doing low-level crazy stuff like pasting her own face over Laura’s in photos with Hakeem. Not quite as insane as we’d been led to believe last week. Like, I appreciate that Empire just straight-up decided to make Anika crazy (and similarly, decided that Carol’s a crackhead now), but it couldn’t even follow up these bold decisions with interesting fallout? It was a problem.

Then Alicia Keys took a break from buying hair dye at Hot Topic so that she could swing by Empire for some weird distracting scenes about collaborating with Jamal for some reason. Very few people scream as beautifully as Alicia Keys, but it’s just a shame the writers couldn’t think of anything interesting for her to do. At least Mary J. Blige got to sing at a party where Raven-Symoné was throwing mean mugs at Lucious.

This guy had a run-in with this thug friends and he pulled a gun on them. Looks like he’s switching sides! Amazing what a little Cookie nookie will do to you.

Lucious had his feelings hurt when Hakeem dropped Lyon from his name, so he decided to buy Andre and Rhonda a super tacky mansion in order to thank them for being Lyons, or something. The most interesting aspect of this scene is it’s probably the first time I’ve laid eyes on a mansion and been like, “No thanks.” As far mansions go, this one was the worst. I wouldn’t call it a McMansion, but maybe the Arch Deluxe of Mansions? Nicer than usual but still trash. In fact, if there was a dumpster big enough I would try and throw this mansion in it. Congratulations, Andre and Rhonda!

Then Cookie went and met up with her old friend from prison, Rosie O’Donnell, who was now operating a bakery which was probably a drug front in the suburbs. Rosie being Rosie, she helpfully showed Cookie where all the local crackheads hung out.

And that’s where they found Carol! Just chilling in a back alley with the crackhead she’d been dating.

Ever since Carol’s boo had his head chopped off and delivered to her while she and her kids were playing with Cookie’s wigs, she’d gone off the deep end. So then she ran over and puked all over Candice’s shoes. Carol was not doing well.

Later at a diner, Candice made Carol choose which sister to accept help from, and she obviously chose Cookie because come on. But I loved when Candice alluded to some terrible thing Carol had done to Cookie in the past, which means there’s hopefully more to Vivica A. Fox’s character than just this episode. I kind of NEED her to be a main character, you know?

Then Anika and Rhonda sat by Rhonda’s new pool where Rhonda advised her to identify any romantic rivals she might have and then DESTROY THEM.

So yeah, without knowing it, Rhonda may have just inadvertently caused the greatest crime and murder spree in human history. (Fingers crossed?)

Then Cookie started getting all turned on when a man began rubbing her shoulders sensuously, but guess who it was?

Lucious! That old rascal. He was here because he needed Cookie to sign over the rights to some of their back catalogue songs so that he could raise funds to acquire zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Then Anika put her new psycho confidence to use when she showed up to Hakeem’s party and told him that Laura was a poor person (or whatever). Honestly had no idea what Anika’s goal was here except to just be rude. But I liked her combat dress and slicked back warrior hair. She truly made a scene and on this show it’s all that counts sometimes.

Lucious had a BAD feeling about Adam Rodriguez, as evidenced by the time they first met and Lucious spilled all the wine and the rug and told Cookie to get her “maid” clean it up. Which I think is a reference to Adam Rodriguez’s ethnicity but I can’t be sure. Anyway, then Lucious did a little research and discovered that the dude was connected to the gang that had strong-armed Lyon Dynasty!

I’m glad Cookie pulled a gun on him, but it was weird when she handed it over to Lucious as though Lucious was some kind of executioner? (Okay, he kind of is sometimes.) Anyway, Cookie and Lucious were bonding again, so that was a positive aspect to this plotline.

Then Anika showed up at Hakeem’s place again and he told her to relax. So far her method of getting up in his face with extreme ‘tude was not working. But clearly she was ready to take her craziness to the next level, so stay tuned for that!

Cookie was heartbroken that the hot piece she’d been sleeping with had been a secret gang member, but she dealt with her grief like any of us would… Throwing an ashtray at a wall of glass brick. But it made me laugh when she was so distraught that a possibly crack addicted bag lady popped by to see if she needed help.

But this gave Cookie a good opportunity to force Carol into rehab, so that’s a pretty positive thing, right? Hang in there, Carol.

We concluded with the culmination of this Jamal-Alicia Keys teamup, which was meant to prove her character had more substance than simply being a pop star who sings about girl power. This meant that they both scream-sung a song they wrote that was basically just them yelling “Powerful!” over and over. Because when it comes to writing a powerful song, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is scream “powerful” A LOT. And then this happened:

I meeeean. What is there to even say about this? I’m sure next episode will begin with them both bursting into laughter and never speaking of it again, but still. Was Empire really using THIS as an episode cliffhanger? I’m not mad, just confused.

“Sinned Against” certainly had its moments. The Anika stuff is left-field but at least it’s audacious, and I do love Cookie’s sisterly issues. But my problems with this episode went beyond its reliance on guest stars… It just felt very lazy. The lines weren’t quite as sharp, the music was borderline annoying, and some of the plotlines just felt dull. Considering we’re only getting on more episode this year, I was hoping there’d be some kind of momentum by now, SOME kind of midseason endgame we’d be building toward. I truly hate to say it, but if “Sinned Against” is any indication, fears about Season 2 seem to be coming true. Fingers crossed it’s just a temporary thing.

What did YOU think of “Sinned Against”?

Empire airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on Fox