Eminem, Framed
Welcome to Framed, readers everywhere. It’s here, and only here, that you’ll find over-the-top funny captions to today’s greatest music videos.
This being only my second blog, I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, where I began my career writing about music. After becoming so rich that nothing mattered any more, and killing a man just to watch him die, I decided that my real forte was good-natured humor. Which led to this blog.
A lot of great things have come out of Detroit; it’s not just me. You’ve got Motown, the 1984 Tigers, the 1967 riots, a couple bands I can’t remember right now, and some other stuff. And songs! There are a surprisingly large number of songs about Detroit. We all know Bobby Bare’s “Detroit City,” but there’s tons more! How about Bowie’s “Panic in Detroit”? Or “Hello, Detroit,” by the great Sammy Davis, Jr.? Or the White Stripes’ “Hotel Yorba”?
This week’s video may well be the definitive Detroit song, though. It’s Eminem, bringing it strong with the incredible “Detroit vs. Everybody.” And it not only features Em, it’s got Trick-Trick, Dej Loaf , Big Sean , Royce Da 5’9” and Danny Brown in it, too! Hey, any pals of Eminem’s are pals of ours, too. Right, readers?
The song itself is pleasantly hostile, and the video — artfully shot in black-and-white — shows the Motor City at its finest. Er, bleakest. Well, it shows Detroit, anyway.
So kick back and enjoy the musical stylings of Eminem & Crew, as well as our chuckle-worthy captions, and be back again next week when a whole new Framed appears by magic!
1 — Now that all the rappers are giants, ordinary people are pretty much worthless.
2 — “C’mon, Yolanda, let’s go cheer on Henrik Zetterberg and his extraordinary stick skills!”
3 — The White Stripes’ cameo stunned!
4 — ”Extry! Well-nigh abandoned city incredibly cold and miserable! Extry right chere!”
5 — The Yahoo Music page with no ads at all confused, frightened!
6 — ”Hell, we don’t want no Hillary stickers. We all votin’ for Huckabee, yo.”
7 — Flat Man vowed to defeat Sharp Man or 3-D Man, once he figured out what his own name actually meant.
8 — Celebrities get a lot of stairs! Do you get it?
9 - The new “Welcome To Detroit” sign is the most welcoming sign yet!
10 — The “Detroit Diet” — saturated fat encased in saturated fat— is best enjoyed with a hearty side dish of never being in the Super Bowl.
11 — ”I not only can rap like a mutha, I totally understand the physics behind Flat Man!”
12 — “Where the hell is everybody? Within the context of the song title, I hasten to add.”
Watch the Video:
