Elvira talks dating a woman, being married to a man, and why she kept both of those things private for so long.

Cassandra Peterson, aka Elvira, opens up about her current and past relationships, and talks about why she believes her Elvira has been such an icon to the gay community.

Video Transcript

LYNDSEY PARKER: Here's your book, Product Placement. I love your book it's fascinating obviously, because you're known as Elvira, but you're also Cassandra Peterson, and you led such a fascinating live or like nine lives, before you even were Elvira. And another thing that I did not know, when I read the book is you've been in a relationship for almost 20 years with a woman, I was you know, you keep your personal life personal, and you come out in this book is this the first time you've gone public with your this relationship, because I was unaware.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: Yeah, it's funny I mean, people call it coming out. And I guess in a way it is. I haven't ever been gay, I [LAUGHING] don't feel like I type-kit, I guess you know, now there's like non-binary, gender fluid, whatever, I fell in love with somebody who I met, who I really love, and she was a woman. I'm always asking myself, did you turn gay all of a sudden after 50 years? wow, what's up! with that. I don't think I did, because I'm still mainly attracted to men, she loves it when we're walking down the street and a hot guy goes by, and I'm like [INAUDIBLE] you know, Yeah. It's [LAUGHING] like they're crazy, but I am attracted to men. And I fell in love with a particular person, who I had been friends with for many years, and the relationship just got deeper. And now, we've been together for 19 years, and it's fantastic, but still, I would be fine with saying, I came out and I'm gay, but I don't-- I don't think I'm gay, I don't know what the hell, I am.

LYNDSEY PARKER: Well, you grew up in a generation where as you mentioned now, there are more labels or just there's-- less categorization, you can be non-binary, you can be bisexual, pan-sexual, holly, what you know, it's not--

CASSANDRA PETERSON: As one.

LYNDSEY PARKER: You know, in your generation and mine it was kind of like, you either had you had two choices gay, straight, maybe maybe-- you had three choices at most.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: Yeah, Yeah. I know and even people have said Oh, you're then you're bi, and I said well, I guess I am now, it wasn't until I turned 50, but I don't know how to explain it, but it's been great.

LYNDSEY PARKER: Well, I was interested in the fact, in the book that you know, given the fact that Elvira was considered to be you know, had a large male fan base with like a sex symbol that you were a little worried about, how this being public knowledge might hurt the deal by image. Can you talk a little bit about that is that, why you sort of kept it on the deal for all this time?

CASSANDRA PETERSON: It was 100% way I kept it on the down low, because Elvira is a big horn-dog obviously, she's always after guys, she's chasing guys, guys are chasing her, and I am the owner of a brand, and I felt I had to protect that brand and Oddly. When I was married to a man for 25 years, I did not tell anybody, I was married. And I tried my best to keep that a secret, because again, Elvira is a big horn-dog. I did not, you know, if I was married for 25 years to the same man you know, I didn't want people to know that, you know, I think it would turn off a lot of male fans you know. So I just kept my relationships private as I could, just to keep the character intact. People didn't really know me, they know the character, and I didn't want them to confuse that with Oh, Yeah, Elvira is married you know, she has a husband, and a kid. And there were Elvira's with a woman now, but you know, it's just, I don't know if I was just an actress doing parts here, and there, a different part I wouldn't care and with a woman now, I'm with a man now, who knows what it'll be, but in 10 minutes. [LAUGHING]

LYNDSEY PARKER: Did your-- your partner who in the book is known as just by the initial T? Did she have a problem with the fact that you know you-- you were not you know, out in the public eye together?

CASSANDRA PETERSON: Nope. She understands what I'm doing, and she feels the same way about it. She would be happy if I never said it. I had to really, really talk her into letting me put this book--

LYNDSEY PARKER: OK.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: --because she doesn't want to be in the public eye. She's not that kind of person, and as far as, she was concerned, it was great being that way. But I think it'll be nice not to have to hide it, and for her and me not to have to lie to people all the time, which is basically what they do I hate that.

LYNDSEY PARKER: Oh you did you like, did you have a beard or anything?

[LAUGHING]

CASSANDRA PETERSON: Well no, I didn't actually you mean like a person.

LYNDSEY PARKER: Like a person you're not an actual.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: I may grow a beard. But [LAUGHING] I'm starting one now, [LAUGHING] but no, I never did that I mean, I always go places with my male friends to, but not to like you know, protect myself.

[LAUGHS]

LYNDSEY PARKER: The irony of all this is that you know, as mentioned the book you've always had a huge gay fan base. You were performing with drag Queens when you were still a teenager. And so, I imagine that when the book comes out in this news is out that there will be a lot of people you really excited and celebrating this.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: I think so. I mean, I think I-- I think my fans who are, so incredibly loyal I think 99.9% of them will say great, we love it, that not a problem you know. I think there's always going to be that one you know, from somewhere it's like not happy about it, but I think it's going to be overwhelmingly, positive. I'm not afraid of that my one fear is that I feel hypocritical you know, and I hate hypocrites, but I feel talking about I'm being straight, Elvira's straight at it. And then I hang out with nothing, but gay men practically, and then I'm not telling people the truth you know, what I mean that-- that feels weird to me.

LYNDSEY PARKER: What do you think it is about the Elvira character that over? You know, since the 80's has, and always had such an appeal to the gay audience, to the queer audience.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: What is it about her, I don't know exactly, but I'm always thinking about that. I think it's something, it's the same thing Cher might have or Moderna you know, how gay audiences just eat them up in a spoon you know, it's an androgynous character in a way. And that isn't sexy, but tough, strong, take no bullshit. I think gay men in particular really like that they like the sexiness, and stuff, but not like being a little wimp you know. And like I'm so pretty, and everything that [LAUGHING] they like the tough powerful women, and that is that becomes kind of androgynous, because you've got sort of a personality of a man but, you look like a super sexy woman. So I think that plays for them you know?

LYNDSEY PARKER: Do you have any touching stories of people queer or otherwise just in general who have told you, how you've changed their life, or save them, or help them?

CASSANDRA PETERSON: I have, had and honestly when I say 100 I literally mean, hundreds of people coming to me. And so, many of them have been gay, because they grew up feeling different, weird not fitting in getting called names. And I think that's the big connection with Elvira in my movie Mistress of the Dark. I had it kind of set up that Elvira was bashed, by everybody around her. And went to this very religious town, and she just breezes right through, it was like, Yeah, whatever, that's your problem.

And I think that's really helped a lot of my fans. I know it has, because I get letters from them. I speak to them at conventions, and they are in the same boat you know. Younger kids that are getting bullied or getting made fun of, for something the way they look, their sexuality any-- any, and everything. And they have come up to me and literally I-- get chills when I talk about this. I've literally had a few of them say, I saved their lives, but without seeing that movie they would have killed themselves, I mean--

LYNDSEY PARKER: Wow.

CASSANDRA PETERSON: --it's hard to believe that I've had them say it through, tears. And writing me letters that were, so heavy I couldn't handle it. I'm so happy about that I mean, like if they relate so much to this character that it actually gave them, the will to live you know, good heavens that's I'm like done my job here. [LAUGHING] I really have I feel like well, that's the best thing I could have ever done.