Elliot Page recounts being closeted at height of Juno fame: 'That s--- literally did almost kill me'
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Elliot Page has opened up about some of the darker days of navigating fame as a closeted actor.
Page, who came out as transgender in 2020, penned an essay for Esquire published Wednesday recalling his childhood, transition, and career. When Diablo Cody's Oscar-winning 2007 romance drama Juno became a runaway hit and introduced the world to Page, the actor "wasn't okay."
"I was closeted, dressed in heels and the whole look — I wasn't okay, and I didn't know how to talk about that with anyone," Page writes. "When Juno was blowing up — this sounds strange to people, and I get that people don't understand. Oh, f--- you, you're famous, and you have money, and you had to wear a dress, boo-hoo. I don't not understand that reaction. But that's mixed with: I wish people would understand that that s--- literally did almost kill me."
Mike Coppola/Getty Images Elliot Page
In his early- to mid-20s, Page "didn't know how to tell people how unwell I was," noting that it seeped into his work in Christopher Nolan's 2010 action sci-fi Inception. "I would berate myself for it. I was living the life and my dreams were coming true, and all that was happening. And yet, for example, when I was shooting Inception, I could pretty much not leave whatever hotel I'd be staying in."
"I struggled with food," he continues. "Intense depression, anxiety, severe panic attacks. I couldn't function."
Page also recounts the "extremely f----- up" moment of having to wear a dress to the premiere of Juno at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2007. "I remember going and having the thing I wanted to wear, and then understanding the degree of expectation of how fancy someone is supposed to look."
When he wanted to wear a suit, he says, "Fox Searchlight was basically like, 'No, you need to wear a dress,'" Page writes. "And they took me in a big rush to one of those fancy stores on Bloor Street. They had me wear a dress, and . . . that was that. And then all the Juno press, all the photo shoots — Michael Cera was in slacks and sneakers. I look back at the photos, and I'm like . . .?"
Page acknowledges the significance of teenage girls responding to the character of Juno. "It related to my queerness and my transness," Page writes. "And then you have that film have the success it had, and the major, major profit, between the film and the soundtrack — and then you f---ing squash that all away. You squash it. So you're benefiting greatly from this character that connected with people, and then you do that. It's gross."
"I wish I could go back and experience it now," he adds. "As me."
Read Page's full essay for Esquire here.
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