What’s a Saturday Night Live Christmas episode without some “Ho, Ho, Hos” courtesy of the one and only Velvet Jones?
As part of host Eddie Murphy‘s veritable “Greatest Hits” performance, which earlier in the night brought back a hint of Bill Cosby, followed by Mr. Robinson, Buckwheat and Gumby, Velvet Jones popped up as a contestant on Black Jeopardy! — but struggled to fit into these modern times.
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Because no matter the category or answer, Velvet’s every question segued into a promotion for one book of his or another, each promising its female reader the chance to make “$1,500 a week” — starting with the classic I Wanna Be a Ho, followed by How to Dance Like a Ho.
Velvet was repeatedly reprimanded by Black Jeopardy! host Darnell (Kenan Thompson) for his use of the H-word, only to zag the next time around by pimping the how-to guide Ass for Cash. (When Darnell brought up the #MeToo movement, Velvet feigned familiarity, responding, “You like hos? Me too!”)
After getting in a dig at Idris Elba’s Cats character (“How will he ever attract a good ho” without a three-piece suit, a tiny gold chain and long, processed hair?), Velvet used the final clue to seemingly get with the times and suggest a woman doesn’t need to have sex to make money… by reading his latest guide, How to Be an Instagram Ho.
Watch a classic Velvet Jones infomercial below, from Murphy’s original SNL reign:
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