Ed Sheeran opens up about friend's death, wife's cancer: 'Grief instantly ends your youth'

In his dozen years of stardom, Ed Sheeran has always presented himself as a lone wolf.

Alone on stage with only his looping pedals. Married quietly to longtime girlfriend Cherry Seaborn in 2019. Even more quietly became a father in 2020 and 2022.

Whatever was known of the ginger Brit was imparted through his music, whether gooey love songs (“Thinking Out Loud,” “Perfect”) or introspective synth-guitar pop (“Castle on the Hill,” “Bad Habits”).

In his four-part Disney+ docuseries, “Ed Sheeran: The Sum of It All,” (all episodes stream Wednesday), the singer-songwriter not only cracks the door to his personal life, but escorts fans through it.

What does Ed Sheeran reveal in his docuseries?

Fans will see recent concert footage from his massive stadium jaunt, home videos from his childhood and behind-the-scenes filming of new videos. Sheeran and his wife provide open-hearted honesty and touching vulnerability.

Each chapter - about 30 minutes per - spotlights a feeling in Sheeran's life.

“Love” offers extensive appearances from Seaborn, 30, who admits she never would have agreed to participate in the documentary prior to her cancer diagnosis in February 2022, but the scare modified her perspective on life.

“Loss” covers Sheeran’s ongoing heartbreak about the sudden death of his best friend, Jamal Edwards, who passed away at age 31 from cardiac arrest following recreational drug use. Edwards’ death occurred around the same time Sheeran, 32, and Seaborn learned of her health issue.

“Focus” delves into how Sheeran buried himself in the recording of “Subtract.” He quickly wrote the songs to his upcoming album, out Friday, after the traumatic events of the early part of 2022, which also included a copyright case about “Shape of You.” (Sheeran won, and is currently in court again to defend “Thinking Out Loud” against allegations that he copied Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”)

And “Release,” originally titled “Balance,” details Sheeran and Seaborn’s challenges trying to find equilibrium between Sheeran’s hectic career and their escalating parental responsibilities.

Who is Cherry Seaborn?

It is truly a delight to learn more about Seaborn, whose bright smile and mind are omnipresent except when she’s expressing her concern about her husband’s mental health or recounting the discovery of her tumor. Though neither she nor Sheeran provide specifics about her illness, Seaborn shares in the final episode that a recent MRI of her arm and scan of her lymph nodes came back clear.

When the pair is together, their easy chemistry is palpable. Sheeran sweetly says that Seaborn “makes everything better,” and footage of him singing “Welcome to the World” to his wife’s pregnant stomach is as emotionally ripe as you would expect.

“We’re are like one,” Sheeran says. “Moving through life together.”

Seaborn reflects that if she had died, “what is people’s perception of me? For Ed, he wants to say to people, I’m not just this music machine.”

Ed Sheeran's profound loss

The effect of the death of Edwards hovers over the entire docuseries, but the “Loss” episode is when Sheeran is at his most heart stricken.

“My success and his success was tied together,” Sheeran says as footage of the pair from more than a decade ago shows their gleeful connection. “Friendship is just this chemistry that happens. When it ends, it’s just devastating…Grief instantly ends your youth.”

Sheeran’s tears are frequent. He attends a memorial cookout with Edwards’ family six months after the loss and escapes to his car to cry. “I feel so lost in there,” he says, looking out the window.

He leaves flowers and candles at a mural of Edwards in his hometown of Acton in West London – created before Edwards’ death – and goes to his friend’s favorite restaurant alone.

In October, Sheeran played a one-off show at Union Chapel in London, where he debuted many of the songs from “Subtract.” There is a beautiful sadness to Sheeran’s eyes-closed singing of “Boat” and “End of Youth” and when he breaks down on stage talking about the immediate emotion after Edwards’ death – “Life just went on…and I wanted it to stop” – only the most hardened heart wouldn’t be moved.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Ed Sheeran docuseries The Sum of It All focuses on grief, wife