Duchess of Sussex thanks Nigerians for ‘welcoming me to my country’
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The Duchess of Sussex has thanked Nigerian women for welcoming her to “my country”, saying that she hopes she can “do justice” to being a “role model”.
The Duchess has previously spoken of discovering she is “43 per cent Nigerian” in a genealogy test. Speaking at a women in leadership event, she said people had told her many times during her Nigeria trip that they “weren’t surprised” to learn her heritage.
Defining Nigerian women as “brave, resilient, courageous, powerful, beautiful”, the Duchess said: “It is the most flattering thing to be in that company, to be in your company.”
She added: “It’s been really eye-opening and humbling to be able to know more about my heritage, and to be able to know this is just the beginning of that discovery.”
Appearing at the event alongside Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Director-General of the World Trade Organization, she argued that “representation matters tremendously”, adding of female role models: “You need to see it to believe it.”
“I often find that whatever travels I’ve done, regardless if it’s Nigeria or another country around the world, oftentimes when women reach the peak of success, they leave,” she added.
“But you need to come back home. You need to at least be a familiar face for the next generation to say: ‘Oh, she looks like me – and I can be that.’
“And I think that is a really key piece in all of it, where success isn’t defined by. ‘Oh, you’ve gotten out, you’ve gone somewhere else.’
“It’s defined by, and you still always want to come back home, because that’s how you’re going to help shift any sort of generational pattern that might be stifling, especially for young girls who need to see someone who looks like them in that same position.”
Told by a moderator that she too had “come home”, Meghan said: “I hope that I could do justice to the role model that I think so many young women deserve to have.
“Obviously in the face of all of you here, I know that they, they see that. But being able to be a small part of that means a lot.”
She added that the first thing she did when she found out her heritage “was call my mom, because I wanted to know if she had any awareness of it”.
“And I think, being African-American, part of it is really not knowing so much about your lineage or background, where you come from specifically,” she said. “And it was exciting for both of us to discover more and understand what that really means.”
“[But] never in a million years would I understand it as much as I do now. Being here and what has been echoed so much really in the past day by men and women alike is: ‘Oh, we weren’t surprised when you found out you were Nigerian.’
“And, and I say that mostly as a compliment to all of you because what they define as a Nigerian woman is brave, resilient, courageous, powerful, beautiful.
“And every single moment that I hear anyone so far talk about what it means to be a Nigerian woman, it is the most flattering thing to be in that company, to be in your company.
“So, yes, it’s been really eye-opening and humbling to be able to know more about my heritage and to be able to know, this is just the beginning of that discovery.”
The event was the third outing of the day for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, on their second day in Nigeria.
It was held in the capital, Abuja, to highlight the importance of female leadership and empowerment in driving positive change. There was an audience of around 50 leading women from across Nigerian society and politics, business, media and culture.
After being introduced, the Duchess joked she had “very quickly gotten the memo that I need to wear more colour so I can fit in with all of you in your incredible fashion”.
“I want to start by saying thank you very much for just how gracious you’ve all been in welcoming my husband and I to this country,” she said, before adding: “My country.”
The Duchess also spoke about the “special secret sauce” of “always bringing a little bit of levity and fun and joy”, adding: “Sadly, I find the pressure that women are under, especially when you’re in a position of power, is one, as though you have to posture to always be serious and strong, to be taken seriously and to be able to find this incredible balance that she struck to be so revered, so incredibly respected and powerful and to say, as we were planning this, but can we just have fun?”
Leaning forward in her chair, she continued: “That is beautiful and so refreshing. And I think that in terms of mentoring it is a really key piece of it.
“Because they can’t be mutually exclusive nor should they be. You can be a woman, you can be beautiful and intelligent.
“You can be powerful and playful, and they can coexist. And I think that is such an incredible lesson and role-modelling that you do for all of us.”
Meghan was then asked for her advice on how to balance being a mother with building a career.
“I love being a mom, I love being a mom,” she said. “When I was on season one of Suits, so that was a long time ago. Now I know the show is having a resurgence, but that was a long time ago. Let’s say maybe a decade ago.
“And Bonnie Hammer, who runs NBCUniversal was a huge mentor, remains a huge mentor to me. And I remember having the good fortune at the time that she invited me to have breakfast and I thought this was just the biggest deal in the world.
“And I asked her that exact question. I said, how do you find the balance? And she said, you don’t, you’ll never find the balance.
“And this was before I was married, this is before I had children, this is before all the things in my life have certainly had a plot twist.
“And it struck me and it stayed with me for a long time because you say, well how can you be so successful – and she’s a mother as well and she’s married – and say that you’ll never find the balance? What does life feel like if it’s imbalanced?
“What I think that to mean now is that that balance will always change for you. That balance, what seems balanced 10 years ago is going to shift.
“And so being a mom has always been a dream of mine. And I’m so fortunate that we have two beautiful, healthy, very chatty sweet children.”
