How to dress up your holiday table without stressing out yourself
Penny Murphy has hosted hundreds of events from casual to formal in her life, but it’s her role as a grandmother she relishes these days.
“Our Christmases are usually a family affair. Now that we have young grandchildren, we like to design our table to create a fun and colorful memory for them,” Murphy said from her home in Lake Clarke Shores.
Murphy’s career as an active, local businesswoman — she’s the president of Pioneer Linens, a high-end textiles business on Clematis Street with a 111-year history in the Palm Beaches — has taught her a few things, like the importance of time management and having a plan.
Murphy says her perspective about the holidays changed years ago, and it started with Thanksgiving.
For a retail business owner (or worker), preparing an elaborate family dinner before Black Friday just didn’t make sense. She moved Thanksgiving to the Sunday before and never looked back.
Then, she divided the chores into two categories — things she liked to do and things she didn’t. Murphy did not like giving a raw turkey a cold bath at 6 a.m. before wrestling the slimy thing into the roasting pan. She asked her favorite caterer, Sandy James, for help with that, and another problem was solved.
A few years ago, Murphy made another decision: not to spend the best part of Christmas in the kitchen. “I wanted to enjoy the holidays with my family,” Murphy said. She called Sandy James again and asked for help.
More: Bucket list: 55 best must-try things to do, hidden gems in Palm Beach County
“My daughters, Camille and Marissa, and my daughter-in-law Amy also cook, so there are familiar favorites on the table next to the beef tenderloin.” Murphy also hires someone to serve dinner (and then discreetly tiptoe away).
“This Christmas Eve, we are designing a table to make it magical for our grandchildren,” Murphy said, “so I am using lots of colors and textures. I want them to learn table manners early, so I like them to sit near me.” Murphy’s growing family includes three grandchildren: 4-year-olds Trey (he’s the third Alan Murphy) and Elsie, named for Murphy’s grandmother, and this year Georgia is just 2½. And we all know, the magic of Christmas is strongest in our children.
“There will be 16 of us this year,” Murphy said. “One of my daughters married a man from South Africa and some of his family will be joining us.”
As you prepare for your festivities, remember the first rule is there are no rules other than: "Make it easy for you." Then "Be relaxed! Enjoy yourself." But here are her suggestions. (Also, remember the most important advice: “Be relaxed! Enjoy yourself.” )
Five ways to make your holiday table memorable
The first thing you need is a plan, Murphy says.
“I do try to sit down and list everything I may need to have my party run smoothly. That way I can think about what I will need to get together so everything will flow, and I am not having to run out to get one more thing the day I am trying to get ready.”
Here are five questions she asks herself:
What’s the party for?
What’s my theme?
What’s my color scheme?
Is it formal or informal?
Who are my guests?
Once you’ve made those decisions, you’re ready to gather what you need to dress your table.
The tablecloth is the critical foundation
Dressing a table is like getting dressed for a party. A lot of it is about layering.
Murphy starts with a simple white linen tablecloth (the equivalent of a little black dress), which can be dressed up or down depending on how you accessorize it.
“But remember, rules are made to be broken, or at least tested,” Murphy says. So if you want a red-and-green tartan plaid tablecloth, or hot pink lace, go for it. Just be consistent.
Placemats, plates and chargers dress up each setting
“It’s fun to use chargers. Chargers act as a lovely frame for your plate and make your china look more important. Some hostesses like keeping everything in the same color family or tone, however you can mix and match as much as you like.
“Not comfortable with that? Stick to the classics: White plates are a good investment. They can be dressed up with glass chargers or used more casually by laying them on a wooden or wicker charger.”
Murphy’s crystal chargers are the perfect accompaniment to her simple white plates. When it comes to china, Murphy has more choices than most. As the only daughter, she inherited both her mother’s and grandmother’s china. Her grandmother’s china is currently on display at the Richard and Pat Johnson History Museum as a part of the “Endless Summer” exhibition, which opened Nov. 5.
Want to eat outside? Go with a more casual/tropical theme. Murphy went with white china in gold trim on a rattan charger. Instead of green Frasier fir references, lean into green palm fronds and silverware that nods to bamboo.
Napkins and napkin rings add a festive flair
It’s the tiny embellishments that really make your table shine. The napkin and napkin ring are a bit like the bow on top of the present. The options are endless and it’s a chance to show your personality.
Murphy used red organza and green charmeuse to wrap her large vintage linen napkins to add a dash of holiday color, then added napkin rings that complemented the plate charges she’s using.
From Pioneer to Pottery Barn, shops are filled with napkin ring options from the simple to ornate. But you can even "shop" the greenery in your own yard and tie it with a pretty bow. And don’t forget linen cocktail napkins. They’re a great chance to set the mood and add to charm to your guests’ welcome drink.
If you don’t like rings or you’re looking for a cleaner look, a neatly folded napkin might be the ticket. Napkin-folding is easy and a great way to impress your guests. (There are many examples available online through a simple search.) Plus, it can be done days ahead.
Here are 13 folding tips from Martha Stewart at marthastewart.com
Use place cards for that personalized touch
Conventional or crafty, you choose.
These can be folded note cards with the names written in lovely calligraphy or something craftier.
“I like to have fun with the place cards. This year I am writing everyone’s name on a little red and white wooden ornament.”
Want to up your game? Get sparkly gel pens in holiday colors — red and green, or even silver and gold — to write out those names.
Find 17 easy-to-copy place cards at andersonandgrant.com.
Keep or start a family tradition — poppers and chocolates
“We always have holiday poppers that we open at the beginning of our celebrations,” Murphy said.
Sometimes called holiday crackers, these colorful tubes are filled with confetti and a note, or fortune or small toys and games. There are hundreds of varieties available to buy, and dozens of DIY poppers you can make yourself with a little online guidance.
“My children grew up having the colorful, foil wrapped Hoffman’s chocolate Santa Claus candy on the table in front of their plates, and I still do that,” Murphy said. At Hoffman’s Chocolate’s main facility on Lake Worth Road, she picks up her Santas at Christmas “and chocolate turkeys and chocolate bunnies also show up for Thanksgiving and Easter.”
“I’ll probably tie some balloons to the kids’ chairs, too.”
Make the centerpiece truly worthy of its place
The centerpiece is always a debate. Should we have fresh flowers or not? Do you go with a big centerpiece that has to be moved before dinner can be served or no centerpiece at all?
A lot depends on how you serve your meal. There has to be space on the table for the food, so a big elaborate piece just won’t work. And who hasn't been frustrated having to talk through or around a tall or bulky centerpiece separating you from the person across the table. On the other hand, the table looks bare when guests arrive! What to do?
“I do always try to have fresh flowers on my table,” Murphy said. “Sometimes they come from my florist, Thom Mathieu, and sometimes I just walk in the yard and see what I can put together.”
It doesn’t have to be elaborate; even the simplest centerpiece can be suitable for your party.
“For Christmas, it’s easy and festive to put some ornaments in a glass cylinder. Add a group of votive candles on the table.
“I’ve collected some candlesticks over the years. You can play with arranging of them in an interesting way.” Using varying heights and sizes in the same color scheme works well.
Another easy idea is to put lemons, limes or other seasonal fruit in a bowl for your centerpiece. And some people put out "snackables" such as nuts in crystal bowls or small hors d’oeuvres.
“Just use your imagination and find interesting things around your house.”
This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Setting the table for holiday gatherings, from place cards to poppers
