“Don’t Trust Online Reviews”: The Internet Is Losing It Over What Guests Were Served On This “Five-Star” $75 Dinner Cruise

Traveling abroad isn't always a walk in the park, but figuring out exactly what to do while you're abroad can be downright challenging. Between skimming online reviews and sifting through travel guides, landing on the "perfect" activity can be tricky — which Allison Kuhn, an American grad student studying abroad, learned the hard way recently.

After studying in Israel, Allison and her friends decided to extend their trip to Istanbul, Turkey. While visiting, they wanted to enjoy a night out — bonus points if they could get a nice view of one of the most picturesque cities in the world. I mean, this view? I get it.

istanbul skylight at night
Nico De Pasquale Photography / Getty Images

"I booked a dinner cruise for us so we could enjoy seeing the city at night," Allison told BuzzFeed. "I searched 'dinner cruise' on Tripadvisor where I found one for $75 per person, the nicest dinner cruise in the area."

searching "dinner cruise istanbul" on tripadvisor
TripAdvisor

Her viral TikTok recounting the experience reveals what happened after they boarded the cruise. The text annotation says it all: "I booked us a 'five-star dinner cruise' where our entree was one singular chicken nugget."

In the video, her friends laugh hysterically while a server, according to comments, "tosses" one chicken nugget "like he's feeding the animals" onto each plate.

comment on tiktok saying "waiter just tossin them out there like he's feeding the animals" while waiter puts chicken nugget in front of diner

In the comments, jokes about the recent film The Menu, where rich people dine on a Michelin-starred meal that's anything but expected, were aplenty.

comments saying "the menu, deleted scene" and "the menu 2022" on tiktok

And though I've tried to make sense of the neatly-plopped nugget accompaniments for the past 24 hours — is that hummus at 12 o'clock? — I'm still searching for complete answers. Allison explained to BuzzFeed that they didn't actually try them, so we're left to our best guesses.

different "dips" on a plate next to the nugget, different colors and textures

And y'all, does the white one not look suspiciously like freshly-scooped cookies 'n' cream ice cream?

  Allison Kuhn / Via tiktok.com

Beyond each diner's individual chicken nugget and mystery dips, there are several other details Allison went on to explain that have me scratching my head. Most notably — and you can actually see this in the video — the rolls served with the meal were all individually packaged in plastic.

arrow pointing to individually packaged rolls

And before the friends sat down for their meal, as Allison explains in another video, a photographer came up to each guest, individually, to take headshots. No group shots of the smiling, laughing friends — just solo.

original tiktoker, allison, saying 'he went to each of us individually to take our photo"

"As we're all just laughing about the chicken nugget, a woman comes around and slaps down these photos of us," Allison said. "Framed, individual headshots. Of each of us! Hands down, this was one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed."

allison in front of a picture of her friend, framed, taken by the photographer

The most common question that TikTokers posed was in regard to how the chicken nugget actually tasted. When asked, Allison told BuzzFeed that the nugget was "good." She added that it was "not a McDonald's nugget...but a solid 6/10." And in a filmed taste test of the nugget which she posted after the initial viral video, she described it as having a "smooth undercarriage" and being "crispy on the inside." Which.........yes.

allison trying the chicken nugget on tiktok

In a follow-up video to her original viral TikTok, she does make it clear that while she joked about the "singular chicken nugget" they were served, her group of friends did thoroughly enjoy their time. "Honestly, everyone on board was so nice," she said in the video. "I've never laughed so much in my life. I would do it again." And in a weird way...I get it! As do many others.

comment saying "no this is such a fun experience i would pay for this" with a laughing emoji

Anyways, be wary of those five-star dinner cruises, folks.