Did Yoda F--k? An Investigation

From Esquire

At the end of the first episode of The Mandalorian, Star Wars fans are introduced to an adorable 50-year-old baby of the same species as Yoda. The whole internet loves baby Yoda, as the little tyke has come to be known. But, that name is a little misleading, since we don't actually know where this child comes from, who its parents are, or even the name and details of his species.

There are already many theories about where Baby Yoda came from, ranging from cloning to little-known characters within the canon and non-canon Star Wars universe. But the most obvious explanation for the origin of this little green character begs an important question with massive implications within the Star Wars universe: Did Jedi master Yoda fuck?

This is something we've never had to wrestle with in the 39 years since we first saw the little green, pointy-eared dude in 1980's The Empire Strikes Back. The last thing viewers likely wondered upon meeting old, wispy-haired Yoda alone in the swamp of Dagobah was, Does Yoda fuck, has he ever fucked, and how does he fuck if he does indeed fuck? But, perhaps more importantly, we've never considered the sex life of Yoda because he was a devout master of the Jedi order, who strictly followed the Jedi Code's rule that a member must not form attachments like marriage and romantic love.

In a franchise so obsessed with lineage and who is the offspring of whom (see: Rey, Anakin, Luke, Leia, Kylo Ren, etc.), it only makes sense that upon seeing this little green boy at the end of The Mandalorian fans would jump to the conclusion that it must be related to Yoda, or Yaddle, or both. So, what would it mean if Yoda did indeed father this child?

Photo credit: Disney
Photo credit: Disney

There's nothing wrong with Yoda getting some of his own. If he had the opportunity to get laid at least once in his 900 long years of life, I say good for him. However, there's some awkwardness and even hypocrisy in his preaching about the dangers of romantic attachment in the prequel series if he was indeed secretly hitting it on the side.

We are also forced now to consider who Yoda was actively fucking. The most logical character, whom fans have already identified, is the only other member of Yoda's species to appear in the live-action movies: Yaddle, who appeared in Episode One as another member of the Jedi Council. Hypothetical shipping of Yaddle and Yoda makes sense, considering they were the only two members of this species, of the opposite sex, and working together (you know what they say about office romances). All of the ingredients for a relationship are there. Looking at the timeline, it would mean Yoda and Yaddle were hooking up around the same time that Anakin and Padme were secretly hooking up. Also, and I can't stress this enough, work relationships are generally messy under normal circumstances, let alone when they're within a powerful, and ancient intergalactic order. (It's probably worth, at this point, remembering that Luke Skywalker, also a Jedi Master, did, indeed, fuck.)

But, then again, we don't know anything about Yoda's species. It's possible that they don't fuck through any biological means that we know of. Perhaps Yaddle and Yoda reproduced in a strictly biological process as a means of continuing their increasingly rare species. Or, for all we know, Yoda laid some sort of egg 45 years before his death, resulting in the existence of this baby. Maybe Yaddle created offspring through some sort of asexual reproduction, forming a genetically similar copy of herself. Who wouldn't love an alien race that does not need men for reproduction!?

It would be funny, a bit ridiculous, and not at all surprising if The Mandalorian went on to reveal Baby Yoda to be the child of Old Yoda. Certainly this development would give another dimension to the great Jedi Master Yoda, revealing him to be a fallible, complex character. Plus, who doesn't love a little bit of juicy Jedi gossip? But, I don't think this is the most realistic answer to the Baby Yoda mystery. If this child is, indeed, Yoda's why had the Jedi Master never once made any mention to it in the last 45 years before, even, the destruction of the Jedi with Order 66? Why would he have been such a deadbeat dad, and who raised the child? Why wouldn't he mention his own Force-sensitive child to Luke on his deathbed, or during the 30 years afterward, when Luke was communicating with Force Ghost Yoda?

The Mandalorian may untangle the mystery of Yoda's species and its greater connection to the Force and the Star Wars saga. And hell, I hope the show does make viewers confront the deeply weird topic of Yoda's sex life. Because, for all the failures of Yoda and the Jedi Order, I hope our little green guy didn't die a virgin.

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