Demi Lovato Opens Up About Their Gender Journey: 'The Patriarchy Has Been Holding Me Back'

Tomás Mier
·3 min read
22

Demi Lovato is opening up about their journey to coming out as non-binary.

In a conversation with Jane Fonda for Fire Drill Fridays livestream, the "15 Minutes" singer spoke about their journey to accepting their gender identity.

"After years of living my life for other people, trying to make myself smaller for the patriarchy — they run the industry, they are at the center of everything," Lovato, 28, said on Fonda's weekly show, which is in partnership with Greenpeace USA. "When I realized that, I thought, 'What are the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back?' And for me, it was putting me in a box telling [me], 'You are a female, this is what you're supposed to like, this is what you're supposed to do, don't dream bigger and don't speak louder.'"

"That didn't vibe for me because I'm too outspoken for that," they added.

During the conversation, Lovato also opened up about how artists can use their platform to push for good and heal the political divide.

Emma McIntyre/Getty

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"I think all I can encourage people to do is to find more compassion and to have more empathy for others," they said. "If you're having a hard time finding that towards others, go within yourself, find it within yourself so you can find it for others because that's what will bring us together is that unity."

"Remembering that even though we are individuals, we are one, and when we start excluding people, that's when things get really hateful and dangerous," Lovato added.

Lovato came out as non-binary on the first episode of their podcast 4D with Demi Lovato.

"Over the past year-and-a-half, I've been doing some healing and self-reflective work. And through this work, I've had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I'll be officially changing my pronouns to they/them," Lovato said. "I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am, and am still discovering."

Rich Fury/Getty Demi Lovato

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During the episode, Lovato explained that their 2018 overdose was a wakeup call.

"I feel like the reason why that happened was because I was ignoring my truth, and I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or this or that, or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy, feminine pop star in the ... leotard and look a certain way, you know?" they said.

The singer said it would "mean the world" to them if others "could start identifying me as they/them."

In March, Lovato opened up to fans about being pansexual during an episode of The Joe Rogan Experience podcast.

"I'm so fluid now, and a part of the reason why I am so fluid is because I was super closeted off," they said. "I heard someone call the LGBTQIA+ community the alphabet mafia. I'm part of the alphabet mafia and proud."