Deadpool And Wolverine CinemaCon Footage Fully Ripped Off The R-Rated Disney Band-Aid With Cocaine And Pegging Jokes And A Whole Lot Of F Bombs

 Deadpool in elevator in Deadpool & Wolverine.
Deadpool in elevator in Deadpool & Wolverine.

We have known for a while now that Shawn Levy's Deadpool & Wolverine would be the first R-rated Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, but still, the question has lingered about just how far the movie would go with adult content. Obviously there is going to be foul language and violence, but it is still a movie made under the umbrella of the Walt Disney Company: an institution that has spent the last 100 years being synonymous with family-friendly content. The Deadpool & Wolverine Super Bowl trailer that arrived in February provided a nice taste of what we can expect, but it turns out that preview was playing with kid gloves. Having now seen nine minutes of the MCU's next blockbuster at CinemaCon this afternoon, I can confirm that there are no punches being pulled, and the film appears to be exceptionally vulgar, nasty, and crazy funny.

The week of festivities at CinemaCon came to an end this evening, and Disney was the studio that hosted the final presentation of the year at The Colosseum Theater at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. The company highlighted a number of exciting titles on the 2024 movie release calendar, including Wes Ball's Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes and Fede Alvarez's Alien: Romulus, but no title had the crowd experiencing fits of uproarious laughter quite like what was shown from Deadpool & Wolverine. The footage was not just hilarious and super subversive, but it provided some key answers to some major questions that fans have been asking about the upcoming Marvel film.

As it turns out, the film will start with Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) retired from the superhero life and working at a car dealership – minus a mask and with a stapled-on toupee. He's unfortunately not very good at the job, as he is seen on a test drive with a family of four in a minivan and just can't stop swearing (even though he is sitting in the backseat sandwiched between two young children. Not only does he drop F-bombs while talking about how much better the Kia Carnival is than a Honda Odyssey (his comparison is that the former "doesn't fucking suck"), but he goes as far as to lament the fact that he doesn't have children because he doesn't have a lot of vaginal sex.

Back at the car lot in the employee locker room, we learn that Wade got the job at Drivemax via his former X-Force teammate Peter (Rob Delaney), who is still holding out hope that his friend will return to the superhero lifestyle and even keeps the Deadpool costume in his locker. Wade, however, is super done with trying to be a hero and is instead content to aim for the middle ("You'll never miss")

Walking back to Wade's place, Peter explains that his friend is just experiencing a midlife crisis and he needs to "go big" – like a friend of his who got his nipples pierced and got a chain that connects them and is attached to his "Van Johnson." Amid this, however, Wade is distracted by a crew of construction workers who are possibly taking photos of him.

Upstairs at the apartment that Wade shares with Blind Al (Leslie Uggams), all of the former hero's friends are waiting to celebrate his birthday. He has conversations with all of them – talking to Colossus (Stefan Kapicic) about how Great British Bakeoff staves off suicidal tendencies; discussing his "hair system" with Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) and Yukio (Shioli Kutsuna); and having a moment with Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), who is now working in middle management and has a new boyfriend. He also has a lengthy conversation with Blind Al about cocaine – Wade admonishing her for bringing up the drug because all references are supposed to be off limits, per instruction from Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige.

When the friends sing Happy Birthday song and Deadpool blows out the candle on his cake, there is a knock at the door and Wade goes to answer it himself. Standing in the hallway is a cadre of agents from the Time Variance Authority... but the Merc With The Mouth is convinced that they are prostitutes hired by Dopinder (Karan Soni) who are there to participate in an orgy with him. His interpretation of what's happening doesn't change when the agents pull out their Time Sticks and charge them up, saying that he is not a natural bottom but that he is not new to pegging... though it is new for Disney. Frustrated, the main TVA agent opens a portal behind Wade and he is pushed through it, and Wade's toupee is pulled off in the process.

The protagonist suddenly finds himself at the Time Variance Authority and across a table from a man who introduces himself as Mr. Paradox (Matthew MacFadyen) and explains the purpose of the TVA – which Wade retorts is a "shit-ton" of exposition for a threequel. Paradox brings up Deadpool's time travel activities at the end of Deadpool 2 using the device belonging to Cable, but he says that's not why Deadpool was brought in.

Walking to a control room together, Paradox tells the former assassin that he is special and that he has been chosen for a higher purpose unknown even to him, and he is being tasked with not just saving the Sacred Timeline but "Avenging" it. Wade acts coy ("The Sacred Timeline? I'm assuming I'm going to marvel at how cinematic it feels?"), but then he gets the full introduction when a bunch of monitors display different videos of Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America. Paradox says that Wade is no longer lost and he can finally be a hero among heroes... though DP is temporarily distracted by a video of himself lying on the ground with Thor (Chris Hemsworth) by his side crying. He is told to ignore this and that it is from a "distant future."

Deadpool is officially ready to leave his own timeline and enter the "greatest timeline of them all," which instantly gives the hero a messiah complex and he declares himself "Marvel Jesus." Stepping away from Paradox for a moment, Wade walks toward the camera, grabs it, pulls it close and says, "Suck it, Fox! I'm going to Disneyland!" right before smashing the thing.

The next step is getting his brand new costume, and Wade is introduced to the TVA tailor. He is hooked up with some fresh threads... but in the process he is also sexually assaulted many times by the strange, bearded old man, who repeatedly grabs Deadpool's crotch and slaps his ass during a dress-up montage. Back in the control room, he out loud declares that he knows everyone's underpants are getting tighter – pointing at a guy and  saying that his clothes say middle management but his eyes say "fucky fucky." When the guy picks up a phone, Wade inquires if the guy is calling his wife, and the TVA employee says he is calling HR... to which DP responds, "Does your wife work in HR?"

After a quick montage, the footage ended with a quick scene of Deadpool in a car with Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) - who is dressed in his full-on yellow-and-blue costume (minus mask). It's a look that Deadpool isn't evidently a big fan of, saying,

What's with the suit? The X-Men make you wear it? Those sons of fucking bitches. Friends don't make friends leave the house looking like they fight crime for the Los Angeles Rams.

If I haven't already made it abundantly clear, the Deadpool & Wolverine CinemaCon footage was remarkable, and it looks like comic book movie fans are in for an exceptional treat this summer.

After ages of waiting, Deadpool & Wolverine is finally almost here and set to arrive in theaters on July 26. We'll be covering the film extensively here on CinemaBlend both before and after it arrives on the big screen, so be sure to stat tuned for more updates about the movie in the coming weeks and months.