Comedian David Spade's life hasn't been without tragedy.
In a New York Times feature published online Monday, the "Saturday Night Live" alum opened up about how he still receives hate mail about his late friend Chris Farley and how he's coping with his sister-in-law Kate Spade's death.
Spade remembered his "Saturday Night Live" and "Tommy Boy" co-star Chris Farley, who died of a drug overdose in 1997. To this day, Spade said trolls still tell him "I wish you died instead" of Farley.
"The first couple times it was rough, but now it’s the standard burn," he said. "I wish I didn’t get that three times a week."
Spade said that for a stretch, the loss of those close to him seemed relentless.
“People just started going right and left, and I would sit and stare at a wall," he said.
He continued: “I just said, 'OK, I guess I’ll cross my fingers that it doesn’t happen to everyone,' ” he explained. “And more people would go.”
Though difficult, the tragedies, according to Spade, made him grow a thicker skin.
"I don’t want to say I’m immune to it," Spade said, "but there’s a way you just have to learn to shut off the tear valve. It’s just too brutal."
Spade also opened up about the death of his sister-in-law, questioning whether the fashion designer, who took her own life last year, would have re-thought her decision in more time.
“I feel like Katy wouldn’t have done it, five minutes later," Spade said. "But these things happen and there’s no going back.”
Though the founder of Kate Spade New York wasn't one for crowds, Spade remembers his late sister-in-law for her sense of humor.
“Katy was so funny,” he said. “I don’t know if agoraphobic is the word, but she didn’t like to mingle a lot; she’d have people at her house and she was always so funny.”
Spade, who will start hosting his own late-night show "Lights Out with David Spade" on Comedy Central later this month, said he will continue performing comedy in his career despite experiencing tragedy in his life.
"But do you just stop doing what you’re doing because of a tragedy?" he said. "You have to go, well, I still like doing this. Some people won’t be interested. But I did three sitcoms after that. It wasn’t totally horrible."
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: David Spade: Trolls say 'I wish you died instead' of late Chris Farley