Darren Waller Explains Meaning Behind His New ‘Serenity’ and ‘Balance’ Face Tattoos (Exclusive)

The New York Giants tight end tells PEOPLE about his quest for "serenity" and why he swapped his smartphone for a Light Phone

Darren Waller has three new tattoos on his face since the end of the New York Giants season, and each one holds a deep meaning for the NFL star.

The first new tattoo for Waller, 31, is the word "serenity" written on the top right side of his forehead. "Serenity is a word I'm definitely striving for," he tells PEOPLE. "I guess you'd call it a synonym of peace, like a deep sense of peace in my life. I feel like I'm still on the search for that."

Waller says his quest for serenity stems from his battle with addiction and knowing it's a constant process to stay sober. "Since becoming sober, there's still other ways that my disease, that addiction still wants to kind of kick its way in, and just getting to that place of serenity where it's like I don't need anything to numb myself from what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling," the athlete explains.

For many addicts, the word "serenity" often references the "serenity prayer," which is commonly recited in group meetings. Waller says that prayer "is a weapon that I have to keep on my hip at all times."

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Just below the word "serenity" on his forehead, Waller has a crown on his temple. "The king's crown is just more like an affirmation," he explains.

"I've always been such a negative thinker and focused so much more on the negative about myself than the positive," adds Waller. "So it's something that I look at and see and I'm like, 'I'm a king. I'm here. I'm trying to do the best I can to leave a positive impact, and I need to let myself know that more.' "

Waller's third new tattoo is a balance beam on his other temple, which he says reminds him to give himself grace. "I feel like for most of my life, I've been such an extreme person emotionally, such all or nothing. If I'm not the best, I'm the worst. And it's not allowing myself a lot of grace or just middle ground to just be okay with myself and extend myself some compassion, so that's where that comes from," he shares.

Related: Darren Waller Says ‘in Some Ways, My Life Hasn’t Really Started’ as He Contemplates NFL Retirement (Exclusive)

And Waller has made another significant change this offseason — he's completely ditched social media and swapped his iPhone for a Light Phone, a minimalist phone without apps or browsers.

"I got it about a month ago," says Waller, who currently has someone else running his Instagram account, explaining, "For me, Instagram's a difficult place. Being on social media and all that's very difficult. When I'm on there I compare myself to other people. I'll find faults in myself, very anxious, just scrolling for hours, I'm just wasting time."

He adds, "It's like you let that stuff add up all the time, and one day it's like I'll look back and be like, 'Man, I wish I would've done this, wish I would've done that.' And if you keep that perspective of, 'I don't know how much time I really have,' I want to be as present as possible, and I feel like this phone allows me to do that and still be connected."

The tight end says "keeping those distractions out of my life" allowed him to be "more present to the things that I'm doing and living a whole life."

Related: Raiders' Darren Waller Opens Up About Experience with Addiction and 'Rising Above' Adversity: 'Push Yourself'

On April 4, Waller hosted NFL prospects Ja'Tavion Sanders and Cade Stover to shadow him for a day on behalf of his Icy Hot partnership. The New York Giants tight end gave them three books that he says "transformed" his way of thinking.

When Stover and Sanders visited Waller in Las Vegas, they received copies of The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer, 10% Happier by Dan Harris and Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.

"My transformation as a player was because my mind was transformed, my inner world was transformed, and I was able to approach the process of the game with good habits, with good principles, and that's where everything's formed," says Waller.

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