Dance Moms' Kalani Hilliker Is 'Still Grateful' for Abby Lee Miller Despite Memories of 'Trauma' (Exclusive)

"I think that aside from the trauma, there was so much good stuff too. I'm really grateful for it and for everything that I went through," the 22-year-old exclusively tells PEOPLE

Kalani Hilliker may have experienced "trauma" during her time on Dance Moms, but she’s still grateful for her experience on the show –and for her coach Abby Lee Miller.

In an exclusive interview with PEOPLE during New York Fashion Week, Hilliker, 22, admits she’s “forever grateful” for everything Miller, 57, did for her.

“I didn’t talk to Abby for a long time [after the show ended]," she tells PEOPLE. “But she recently just reached out to me and asked me to be on her podcast. Obviously I don’t agree with everything she’s done to other people, but we all make mistakes. So I thought, ‘Why not see if it rekindles?'"

Related: ‘Dance Moms’ Kalani Hilliker Opens Up About ‘Lots of Trauma’ from 'Being on the Show'

Hilliker and her mom Kira Girard joined the cast of the reality TV show during its fifth season. The mother-daughter pair also appeared in the episode "Big Trouble in the Big Apple" during season 4.

Throughout her time on the show, Hilliker says she was traumatized and constantly criticized for her weight. This, she says, led her to develop body image issues and anxiety.

“Dance can be a very toxic for your body image just because there's a specific way that a ballerina is supposed to look. There's a specific way a dancer is supposed to look. I didn’t fit that stereotype,” she explains.

She continues: “I feel like I didn't really have anxiety on the show. I was just suppressing all my emotions just to kind of get through. I really got my worst anxiety after the show, once I was able to finally sit down and take a breath and realize who I was and kind of what I went through."

"But like I said, I will always be grateful for Abby," she adds of her former dance coach.

As Hilliker got older, she says she started to develop a better relationship with Miller. She recalls being approximately 16-years-old, helping Miller and fellow dance coach Gianna Martello with choreography.

“I wanted to go on stage and do my best every single time,” she says. “It was more about impressing Abby and the judges and winning versus the TV show.”

“I think more or less, everyone has their own different traumas,” Hilliker adds. “I think that aside from the trauma, there was so much good stuff too. I'm really grateful for it and for everything that I went through.”

Related: ‘Dance Moms’ Kalani Hilliker Opens Up About ‘Lots of Trauma’ from 'Being on the Show'

Hilliker isn't the only former cast member of Dance Moms who has spoken out about their experience on the show and their relationship with Miller.

Maddie Ziegler, who was on the show since its debut in season 1 but left with her sister Kenzie Ziegler after season 6, spoke out about her experience and decision to leave during an interview with Cosmopolitan in June 2022.

“She trained me, she helped me, but also, I knew I would be okay without her and I was sick of being in a toxic environment," Ziegler, 20, explained to the outlet. "I was like, 'This is not for me. I can’t do this.' I haven’t spoken to her since."

JoJo Siwa, another former cast member from the show, also previously told PEOPLE Miller still swipes up on her social media to give her dance advice all the time.

“I don't think I've ever gone to her with choreography advice," Siwa, 20, told PEOPLE in December 2022. "Almost every time that I post something though of me dancing, she'll swipe up and give me a correction on it or she'll swipe up and give an idea on it."

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Although the two hadn't worked together in a while, the former Nickelodeon star acknowledged how lucky she was to be trained by Miller at the Abby Lee Miller Dance Studio in Pittsburgh.

"I do respect her choreography and I do respect what she's done for the world," Siwa said. "Whether the dance community wants to admit it or not, she changed the dance world for the better. I think that that's really cool."

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Read the original article on People.