‘Dance Moms’ Kalani Hilliker Opens Up About ‘Lots of Trauma’ from 'Being on the Show'

"For me, it was really, really hard. And I obviously have anxiety and other things probably stemming from being on the show," Hilliker revealed

Kalani Hilliker is speaking candidly about her time on Lifetime’s Dance Moms.

During an interview with E! News published Monday, the dancer, 22, opened up about her time on the reality show. Hilliker joined the cast in its fourth season, after winning fourth place on the spinoff show, Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, in 2013.

"We never were really allowed to vocalize how we felt," Hilliker recalled. "And I definitely held a lot in of how I was feeling and what was going on just because I obviously wanted to be the best."

She continued,  "I had so many eyes on me that I was just wanting to be the best I could.”

Related: JoJo Siwa Recreates Solo Routine from Her 'Dance Moms' Days: 'Three Pulled Muscles Later'

Hilliker said when she stepped away from the show in 2017, she came into her own as a young woman. "I feel like when I finally was able to move out and be by myself, I realized a lot of things that happened to me in my childhood carried with me," she explained.

Hilliker was only 12 years old when she first appeared on AUDC, and gained widespread attention for her immaculate technique. Abby Lee Miller, who hosted the reality show, was brought to tears over Hilliker’s elimination and vowed to see her dance again in the future.

"I'm a very hardworking person, like, I love to be go, go, go, go," the Irreplaceable Tour dancer said. "But when I'm go, go, go, go all the time, my energy runs out. And then I can't even do the things that I want to do anymore. And I break down. I definitely broke down.”

Despite the ups and downs of being a teenager on a reality series, the Arizona native said she doesn’t regret the experience. She explained that she’s grateful for the show and Miller, 57, and has learned a lot from the trauma it caused.

"Everything happens for a reason," Hilliker said. "And I'm so grateful for the show. And I'm so grateful for Abby. If she didn't bring me on to the show, I wouldn't have the career that I have."

The Kare x Kalani founder added, "Obviously, it brought lots of trauma. And we all definitely went through some hard times. And I can't speak for any of them, because we all have our own experiences. But for me, it was really, really hard. And I obviously have anxiety and other things probably stemming from being on the show. But at the end of the day, I'm so grateful for it because I wouldn't be able to advocate for things like mental health or teach dance on the level that I do."

Related: Maddie Ziegler Says Her Mom Apologized for What She Put Her Through on 'Dance Moms' After a 'Really Bad Panic Attack'

Hilliker appeared on the show alongside JoJo Siwa and Maddie Ziegler. Last month, Ziegler, 20, revealed during an appearance on the High Low with EmRata podcast that her mom, Melissa Ziegler-Gisoni, apologized to her for her time on Dance Moms.

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"Last year, I was having a really bad panic attack and I called my mom and things were coming up from the past, and she apologized to me," the “Chandelier” dancer, who starred on the show from 2011 to 2016, said.

"She was like, 'I'm so sorry I put you through that.' It's so sad because she would never want to hurt us, but none of us knew how crazy it would get," Ziegler added.

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