The Crown season 5 recap: The beginning of the end

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Although The Crown is a historical drama based on Queen Elizabeth II's life, season 5 focuses on different branches of her immediate family tree. In ten episodes, viewers are transported back to the 1990s as they witness how the royals navigated the fall of the Soviet Union, multiple scandals, and the inevitable end to a fairytale marriage.

Read on for EW's recap of the first five episodes of The Crown season 5, featuring a new cast including Imelda Staunton as Queen Elizabeth, Jonathan Pryce as Prince Philip, Jonny Lee Miller as Prime Minister John Major, Lesley Manville as Princess Margaret, Dominic West as Prince Charles, Elizabeth Debicki as Princess Diana, Olivia Williams as Camilla Parker-Bowles, Claudia Harrison as Princess Anne, and James Murray as Prince Andrew.

The Crown
The Crown

Netflix Elizabeth Debicki as Princess Diana and Dominic West as Prince Charles in season 5 of 'The Crown'

Episode 1: "Queen Victoria Syndrome"

We begin the season with a flashback of a young Queen Elizabeth christening the royal yacht Britannia, intermingled with a current-day Elizabeth receiving a physical from her doctor. The fact that showrunners chose to have a bunion pad on the Queen's toe was everything. Royalty: they are just like us!

But the point is not to feature the Queen's strong heart rate or slight weight gain. The underlying issue is that Elizabeth is getting old. Especially when a poll conducted by the Sunday Times claims she is irrelevant and out of touch. Charles is modern, young, and energetic. More than half of Britain thinks he should be on the throne.

Do you know who else thinks Charles should be king right now? Camilla Parker-Bowles. But that's neither here nor there, since she wasn't invited on the "second honeymoon" with Charles' wife Diana and their sons. To Diana's chagrin, Charles also invites a few cousins along on holiday, which means, once again, Charles wants nothing to do with her on an intimate level. Of course, that doesn't mean they can't fake it in front of the paparazzi. They put on a remarkable show with big smiles and enthusiastic waves for all the photographers.

While the Prince and Princess of Wales are partying it up in Italy, the Queen is chugging along on the Britannia with Prince Philip, who delivers some distressing news to his wife. The Britannia is old and worn down. She's antiquated and stubborn. It's time to replace the royal yacht.

This metaphor provides a through line throughout the entire episode. As one might suspect, the Queen has no interest in adopting the notion of "out with the old and in with the new." And her staff goes above and beyond to keep that Sunday Times article from gracing her presence.

Diana is devastated to learn that Charles is cutting their holiday short in Italy due to a "scheduling conflict." We then see him with Prime Minister John Major. Charles teases the "Queen Victoria Syndrome" idea mentioned in the article, which means the public thinks the queen has been on the throne too long. However, John reminds Charles that this was just a poll and it's dangerous to be guided by them.

Charles presses harder. He informs John that his great-grandfather Edward VII waited in the wings for sixty years because Queen Victoria had no confidence in him. After all, the man was a free thinker. But when his time came, Edward proved doubters wrong. Charles believes it was a waste that Edward's voice wasn't incorporated earlier. Charles then invites John to Scotland to attend a ball to see first-hand if the institution is in "safe hands."

Imelda Staunton and Jonathan Pryce on 'The Crown'
Imelda Staunton and Jonathan Pryce on 'The Crown'

Netflix Imelda Staunton and Jonathan Pryce on 'The Crown'

Never fear. The crown is in excellent hands. When Elizabeth finally reads the now-infamous article, she walks the corgis, straightens her spine, and considers it a compliment. In her opinion, the poll claims she's constant, stable, and dutiful. What more could you want in your Queen?

And to be clear, nothing is going to pasture, including her beloved Britannia. Elizabeth gently but firmly lets the Prime Minister know that the royal yacht is the one thing she has not inherited from generations before. It is a floating expression of Queen Elizabeth herself and the government will be paying for its refurbishment, thankyouverymuch.

Cut to the Ghillie Ball, or the "gamekeepers ball" in Scotland. A quiet yet confident Prime Minster takes in the various generations of royalty, noting that the senior members seem dangerously diluted. In contrast, the younger generations are thankless and entitled. What's worse is that the Prince of Wales fails to appreciate his one great asset (hello, Diana). John can't help but feel that the country's stability is about to erupt on his watch.

Spoiler alert: It does.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Keith Bernstein/Netflix Elizabeth Debicki

Episode 2: "The System"

At age 50, Prince Philip gave up the love of his life.

Wait. Scratch that from the record. Prince Philip gave up the sporting love of his life. Yes, that sounds much better.

Bumbling through an interview, Prince Philip manages to bore most people to tears by explaining the wonder of carriage driving. And in the process, we see him adopt an entourage with this newfound hobby.

One unlikely friend is his godson Norton's wife, Penny Knatchbull (Natascha McElhone). After her daughter Leonora dies of kidney cancer, Philip visits Norton, only to comfort Penny while she's grieving. He encourages her to find an escape to help with her grief. Eager to impress the Prince, Penny unveils a disheveled carriage in the barn. Philip welcomes her into the fold and offers to teach her how to carriage drive.

Is this odd? You bet, but sometimes biographical facts are random, and we must go with it. Philip is an adrenaline junkie, and if carriage riding fills his heart with joy, so be it.

Speaking of joy, Diana has very little in her life. But she is intrigued when her good friend James Colthurst (Oliver Chris) relays a message from journalist Andrew Morton (Andrew Steele). Rumor has it that someone is writing a book about her life, which will be a hatchet job. Morton is interested in telling Diana's real story. And the best part is that no one has to know she was involved.

James is the middleman. Morton will provide questions to James to hand over to Diana. Diana will speak into a tape recorder and hand the tapes back to James to give to Morton. And boy, does she spill the beans. Diana discusses Camilla and the Queen's refusal to acknowledge the problem. She speaks of her insecurities and how the crown can take custody of her children as legal heirs. Diana even confesses her eating disorder and previous suicide attempts.

The tapes go on to reveal that Camilla was the subject of many nightmares. Charles was never committed to their marriage. Diana simply couldn't compete with his one true love. The broken woman put every emotion, frustration, and question into hours of recordings.

Days later, James is run off the road on his bicycle, Morton's apartment is trashed, and Diana is convinced someone is listening on her personal phone line. Is it a coincidence that Prince Philip comes calling soon after? I think not.

At first, Philip is cordial, speaking of the importance of privacy and confidentiality. He eases into his argument by reassuring Diana that he has always felt protective of her and even shared her frustrations with Charles at times. But the news of this book has him thinking differently.

She's been in the royal family for more than a decade now and knows how things work. They are not a family. They are a system. For better or for worse, they are stuck in this system, and they can't err their grievances like a normal family. The damage can be more extensive than she knows.

Philip encourages Diana to be creative and do whatever she needs to do to be happy. (One can only presume that he had this same conversation with Charles, which is why Camilla isn't even tucked away in shadowed corners anymore.) The one rule Diana must abide by is to remain loyal to the family and her husband in public.

Diana questions if this means that she is to be silent. The answer is yes. Do not rock the boat. Take everything to the grave.

We all know that Diana did rock that boat. Andrew Morton's bookDiana: Her True Life Story, depicting a deeply unhappy woman behind the fairytale facade, sold millions of copies. And as a result, the royal family spirals into genuine crisis.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Keith Bernstein/Netflix Khalid Abdalla, Salim Dau

Episode 3: "Mou Mou"

It's 1946, and "the best salesman in Alexandria" is peddling Coca-Cola in the streets of Egypt. His name is Mohamed Al-Fayed, and his dream is to be just like British royalty, because they are treated like gods.

Fast forward to 1979, when Mohamed (Salim Dau) and his son Dodi (Khalid Abdalla) travel to France to purchase (and rescue) the notorious Hotel Ritz Paris. Claiming he wants to make her great again, Mohamed is discouraged when he and his colleagues are treated with contempt and discrimination, even though they have more money than the asking price.

With a sudden change of heart, the hotel business people agree to a deal, and we find the Al-Fayeds celebrating in high fashion the following night. Sadly, Mohamed instructs his son to immediately dismiss a Bahamian waiter based on nothing more than the color of his skin.

Dodi obliges and later laments to his father that it was a mistake. The man, Sydney Johnson (Jude Akuwudike), had been the personal valet of the Duke of Windsor (Edward) for thirty years until his death. Hearing royal terminology, Mohamed changes his mind and requests an audience with Sydney. We learn that Sydney took care of every aspect of the Duke's life, from when he woke to when he retired for the night.

Mohamed is sold. He hires Sydney as his own personal valet to help him be a British gentleman. Sydney agrees and hands Mohamed a stack of books to read. Then he schools him on the finery of life, including the proper clothes to wear, the importance of polo, and that tea is a ritual to be savored.

At a polo match, Sydney settles a frustrated Mohamed when he's not sitting directly by the queen in her box. When Mohamed learns that the man with that privilege owns the department store Harrods, he decides to buy the "heart of British society" for six hundred million pounds.

Then he tosses some money to Dodi so he can finance a small motion picture called Chariots of Fire. You may have heard of the Oscar-winning film.

Finally, when the Duchess of Windsor dies (Edward's American wife, Wallis Simpson), Mohamed purchases the Duke and Duchess' home to restore it to its glory. He claims money is no object and gifts the villa back to the British royal family, hoping this will land him an audience with the queen.

Knowing that all manner of valuable possessions is in the house, the Queen sends people over to collect paintings, jewelry, furniture, and the Duke's personal diaries... which may contain correspondence with Nazis. Yikes! Sydney, Dodi, and Mohamed watch as piece after piece of history leaves through the front door without a word of thanks.

Sydney whispers in Mohamed's ear that whatever he's feeling, the former Duke thought the same thing once upon a time. Mohamed did a great thing by saving the house and deserved more respect from the Queen. At the very least, she should have sent a thank you note.

A confused Mohamed looks at Sydney and replies that he's just made the queen very happy. Why should he be upset? Sweet Sydney nods, and it's clear that these two have a special friendship. It's even more evident when Mohamed nurses Sydney and stays by his side until he passes away.

We see Mohamed at Sydney's grave, mourning the loss of a dear confidant. And then we see him in the Queen's box at a polo match, right by Her Majesty's chair, which is the one place he always wanted to be. Sadly, the Queen opts out of sitting next to the man who now owns Harrods and asks her team to sub someone in for her as she chats with her family.

Who might that lucky royal be? None other than Diana, who charms Mohamed immediately, affectionally calling him by his pet name Mou Mou. When she briefly meets Mou Mou's son Dodi, there's a spark that is quickly extinguished.

This is chilling foreshadowing, considering Dodi and Diana will fall in love, and their lives will be extinguished in just a few years.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Keith Bernstein/Netflix Imelda Staunton and Jonathan Pryce

Episode 4: "Annus Horribilis"

Any episode that features Princess Margaret, the Queen's wayward sister, is one to be remembered. While being interviewed on the radio, Margaret shares that music is her first love, and the song "Stardust" has special meaning.

That particular meaning has a name, and it's Peter Townsend (Timothy Dalton). Remember, he's Margaret's soulmate and the one Elizabeth forbade her from marrying. Now, deacdes after they were forced apart, he's written Margaret a letter informing her that he will be at a reception in London and would like to see her.

Elizabeth is hesitant to share her feelings that it's probably best for Margaret not to attend this reception. Still, she has bigger problems at the moment. Prince Andrew wants to discuss his marriage and how the mother of his children was featured in a trash magazine with another man sucking on her toes. To quote Andrew, "It's embarrassing, Mummy!"

Andrew wants to talk about the d-word. No, Mummy, the word is not duty. The word is divorce, and he wants one. And he feels terrible about it, too. Fergie was supposed to be the fresh, modern, fun one, and they destroyed her because she was different. Andrew claims no one with character, originality, or spark has a place in the system.

Cut to Margaret meeting Peter Townsend after 35 years apart. But first, let me just say that Margaret's fuchsia dress with the shoulder pads and bows was everything my '90s heart loved.

The old Margaret is back! The one who sings, wears the hats of other men, and smokes like a chimney is turning on the charm. But, after dancing with Peter, her hopes are slightly dashed when he divulges that he doesn't have long to live, and he'd like to return the letters she wrote him, lest they fall into the wrong hands after his death.

The next day, the Queen's daughter Anne visits her mummy. She tells Elizabeth that she will marry Commander Tim Lawrence, even though the ink is barely dry on her divorce from her first husband. When Elizabeth balks, Anne quickly reminds her mother that she has dedicated her life to her role as a royal and she's been bound by duty before all else. Including happiness. She's done and will be marrying Tim. The end.

Next, it's Prince Charles' turn to complain about his marriage. Unfortunately, as the future king, he is in his own category. You see, God's law is marriage for life, and being happily married is a preference. Not a requirement.

Charles reminds his mother that Diana is hell-bent on blowing up the crown. Oh, and here's a quick tally: Margaret, Anne, and Andrew are all divorced. Their family is the opposite of proper moral examples.

Finally, there's a fire at Windsor Castle. Way to kick a queen while she's down! We watch as Elizabeth witnesses her home burn around her.

On a walk with Peter, Margaret gives the rundown of the damage. More than one hundred rooms were destroyed, including the crimson drawing room where they spent an entire day together. That afternoon, Peter made plans for their future. And, like the drawing room, those plans went up in smoke. Peter turns to Margaret and asks if their love was lasting.

We learn the answer when Margaret bursts into Elizabeth's drawing room to inquire how the fire started. Even though Elizabeth blames a blown fuse, Margaret wonders out loud if it was foul play. You see, there are multiple suspects who would want to burn the place down. Diana comes to mind after years of neglect. Andrew is furious at his mother. Charles would like a divorce.

And what about Margaret? Of course! She has every reason to torch her sister's house. Because she denied Margaret of her one true love. Peter was her sun. Peter was her water.

Elizabeth calmly tells Margaret that the Queen denied it, not her sister. But Margaret is quick to rebuff that the exact same prohibition was not extended to Anne. She gets to marry her average guy without question. The situation is identical in every way. Anne's story ends happily. Margaret's does not. Even after 40 years, why can't Elizabeth admit her part in what happened?

This brings us to "annus horribilis," or "horrible year." On the Queen's 40th anniversary of her succession, she blatantly shares with everyone that "1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure." She publicly admits the errors of the past and hopes for reconciliation. Then she pays tribute to her family, particularly Margaret, by noting that they have been her sun and water for 40 years.

The episode ends with Elizabeth and Margaret chatting on the phone before bedtime. First, Elizabeth apologizes for the system being horribly hard on the rest of the family. Then Margaret asks Elizabeth to come over and get a little bit tipsy. Elizabeth refuses, of course, and Margaret says she has to get sloshed on her own with Rum.

When Elizabeth compares her sister to a pirate, Margaret laughs. Rum is her dog. Elizabeth giggles back like a schoolgirl, noting her dogs' names are Brandy and Sherry.

The news that Elizabeth and Margaret have both named their dogs after alcoholic beverages might make me happier than the fuchsia dress.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Netflix Olivia Williams as Camilla Parker-Bowles and Dominic West as Prince Charles on 'The Crown'

Episode 5: "The Way Ahead"

Everyone is listening. And everyone wants to make a quick buck. With that said, it's still shocking to learn that a very intimate phone conversation between Charles and Camilla could be intercepted, recorded, and sold to a newspaper for no telling how much money.

It all starts with an innocent call to the Parker-Bowles household, where Andrew Parker-Bowles answers the phone only to hear Charles' voice on the other side. Awkward. Camilla races to the other room to chat with her lover, and I realize just how jacked up the details are to this romance.

Charles asks Camilla to listen to a speech, and the scene moves from his manor, across the city, to a van in a neighborhood where a man is dialing into different frequencies on a transmitter. Recognizing a familiar voice, the man hits record just in time for the juicy bits.

The man runs straight to the newspaper, where he's paid a handsome sum. But the editors hold onto the tape, fearful that they would be responsible for breaking up a royal marriage if they publish the story. It's held for safekeeping for another day.

Skipping ahead three years, we find that the Prince and Princess of Wales have decided to separate. It officially gives everyone great sorrow, but behind closed doors, a task force called the Way Ahead Group is assembled to help save the monarchy. According to Charles, the group's "modern changes" are a joke.

Charles takes matters into his own hands and gathers his own little group of followers. When he reaches a bit of momentum, the Daily Mirror publishes the tape from three years prior, and all hell breaks loose. The self-destruct button has been pressed, and something must be done.

The solution is to air a television special where cameras follow Charles. The public needs to see a future king at work. One who is preparing the monarchy for the upcoming millennium. In the piece, Charles promises that the crown will flourish by adapting and being open to the idea of reform. He also claims that as the future head of an established church, he is not a defender of one faith. On the contrary, he's in favor of faith in general.

Suddenly the reporter switches gears to Charles' failed marriage and asks specifically about Camilla and if she was a deciding factor in the collapse. With the newspaper article fresh on everyone's minds, Charles cannot help but admit that Camilla is a dear friend. He pledged to uphold his wedding vows until it became obvious that the marriage could not be saved. But when nothing could be done, old friendships were rekindled.

Charles bares his soul to the nation, and the PR stunt works. Younger people seem to be delighted by his response. The other two outcomes from the special are Camilla leaving her husband (finally) and Diana stepping out in public wearing what is infamously known as her black off-the-shoulder "revenge dress."

Anne visits her brother and notices his confident behavior. She reminds him that they are not in the business of creating rival courts. Instead, they are to walk behind the sovereign and not criticize.

Then we see Anne in front of an audience of family members. She warns them that Charles is not as weak as everyone thinks. In fact, he's setting up his own Camelot with advisors and a progressive agenda. Moreover, he's showing them what a future King of England looks like, which is a tribute to those who have been overlooked.

The CrownSeason 5, Episode 6 Jonathan Pryce
The CrownSeason 5, Episode 6 Jonathan Pryce

Netflix Jonathan Pryce

Episode 6: "Ipatiev House"

Not since the depiction of the coal disaster in season 3 has an opening of The Crown been so traumatic. The year is 1917. The last emperor of Russia, Nicholas Romanov, and his entire family were abdicated to live under house arrest.

The scene switches from Siberia to England, where King George has been given a letter from his cousin Nicholas requesting safe passage out of Russia. George asks his wife her thoughts, and the scene abruptly returns to a voice shouting for the sleeping Romanovs to wake. They must get dressed immediately because they are being transferred.

Before they can leave, the local officials escort them to the basement of the house to take a photo of the family, proving that they are alive and well. But the men pull out guns and bayonets instead of cameras and flashbulbs. They shoot and stab every single member of the family, pour acid on their bodies, and bury them in the woods.

Thank goodness for a flash forward. Showrunners give us a pallet cleanse by introducing Boris Yeltsin, who we know served as the first president of the Russian Federation. The Prime Minister reports to the Queen that Yeltsin may not be sober most of the time, but he is straightforward and likable. It appears the Russian people love him for not wavering in uncertainty.

Elizabeth hosts Yeltsin at the palace, and one of Yeltsin's first requests is for the Queen to return the favor and visit him in Russia. Naturally, Elizabeth feels this is a hard pass since the beloved cousins of her very own grandfather were famously murdered. Plus, Yeltsin gave the orders to demolish that house (Ipatiev House), which seems like it would be a good thing. Still, Elizabeth receives it as disrespectful to her family's memory. The Romanovs deserve a decent burial.

Yeltsin agrees and promises to do everything he can to restore their memory. After ordering an excavation of the forest, the team does locate the bodies, but authorities want to be confident that these are the remains of the Romanovs. You see, acid poured on bodies makes that hard to define, but luckily, DNA matching is a thing now, and all Russia needs is some of Prince Philip's blood.

Prince Philip is the grandnephew of Alexandra Romanov, Nicholas' wife. This spurs Philip to become obsessed with DNA, his Russian roots, and connecting to his past by restlessly searching for who he is. Once his DNA is confirmed a match, Philip is downright eager to visit Russia with Elizabeth to pay their respects to the Romanovs.

Unfortunately, the burial does not occur because a few bodies remain unidentified. That news, coupled with the fact that Elizabeth and Philip have barely spent time together, displeases the Queen. However, Philip defends his time in Russia, pointing out that he's been exploring the injustice of his relatives with her relatives.

Oh, it is on. The Queen wants her husband to explain his random outburst, and Philip lets it all out. He's given up so much in this marriage, including his career, his faith, and his autonomy. He wishes Elizabeth was more energetic and curious. Instead, her desire for calm and stability has left him lonely. So he's found intellectual and spiritual companionship elsewhere.

Elizabeth is stunned. Her brain automatically goes to the worst-case scenario. Philip assures Elizabeth that he has a "gang" and a community of friends who love carriage driving and house parties. And the closest comrade he has is Penny.

The Queen's jaw drops to the floor. When she picks it up, she haughtily responds, "Your godson's wife? She's half your age!"

I genuinely do not believe that Philip had any illicit behavior concerning Penny. It seemed like the friendship leaned more toward father/daughter than an affair. Whatever the case, Philip is unwilling to grant Elizabeth's wish to end this companionship. In fact, he takes it a step further and asks his wife to befriend Penny. He wants them to be seen in public together to legitimize the friendship.

The Queen obliges and meets Penny at the horse stables back home in England. She's eager to hear Penny's theory on the Romanovs and is shocked that Penny believes King George refused to send a ship to rescue his cousin because his wife Mary was jealous of Nicholas' wife, Alexandra.

According to Penny, she read the diary of George and Mary's son Edward, where he recalls his father asking his mother if they should send a ship to rescue his cousins. Edward remembers his mother answering no when asked. It's a bitter rivalry between two aristocratic women.

Elizabeth looks Penny directly in the eyes and tells her she is dead wrong. The decision had nothing to do with rivalry. Asylum for the Romanovs presented a threat since Alexandra was seen as pro-German, and at that exact same time, England was at war with Germany. Queen Mary was devastated when she learned the entire family had been killed.

But when you're a sovereign, you take that devastation to the grave. You can't show those emotions. They become part of your DNA.

The Queen mic drops Penny and thanks her for showing so much interest in Romanov history. Then Elizabeth invites her to attend church so the public doesn't jump to any wrong conclusions when they see her out and about with Prince Philip.

She dismisses Penny, turns back toward the barn, and stuffs her emotions deep inside.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Netflix Elizabeth Debicki, Will Powell, Senan West, Dominic West

Episode 7: "No Woman's Land"

That screaming you hear is the sound of several dozen adolescent teenagers scrambling for the chance to see young Prince William enter the gates of Eton College, where he will attend boarding school in the upcoming years. The scoff you hear is Prince Charles irritated by his wife doting on her firstborn as he signs his name on official school papers in front of a smattering of photographers.

It's hard to tell who is having a more challenging time with this transition between Diana and William. As they look out the window of the 13-year-old boy's dorm room, Diana jokingly tells her son that if he's lonely, he can wave to Granny across the way.

William copes with his sadness by trying to make friends. Diana chooses a different route. She agrees to tell her story to the BBC Network.

Martin Bashir is a journalist at the network who figures out a way to secure Diana's story. Knowing that American networks are eager to scoop each other, Bashir thinks he can get to Diana through her brother by creating a bit of drama that is too scandalous to ignore.

Bashir manages to speak with Charles Spencer, who has just been the victim of a phone hacking story. Diana's brother is all ears when Bashir claims he has procured documents that prove close confidants of the royal household have been paid through a separate account that is a front for the crown's security services. Spencer is led to believe that Diana's private secretary is actually a spy being paid to report on her private life.

What Spencer doesn't know is that Bashir forged these documents as a way to get close to Diana. Was it wrong? Yes. Did it work? You bet it did.

Diana leaves her home to visit her brother. On the way, her brakes give out, and she nearly has a wreck. The fact that she hears clicking every time she's on the phone, the (forged) bank statement, plus the mechanical failure she just experienced gives Diana every reason to meet with Bashir. Spencer promises he'll be right there with her through thick and thin.

Meanwhile, William pays Granny a visit, and they bond over Eton traditions. It's an adorable little relationship they have, but things turn cold when Elizabeth asks how William is doing with his parents' separation. William admits that his mother asked him to "put in a good word" because she never sees the Queen anymore.

Jokingly, Elizabeth replies that there's a flag on every building she enters. This makes her very easy to find, and Diana is welcome to visit whenever she likes. But it's clear that the Queen is worried about the future sovereign and how his life feels fractured. William speaks freely. All he wants is for his mummy to be happy.

Well, Diana is heading down that path because she suddenly develops a relationship with a local heart and lung surgeon named Hasnat Khan after visiting a friend in the hospital. The good doctor notices Diana visiting his patients and thanks her for making people feel happy in a very depressing place. Then he invites her for a date near the third-floor vending machine.

What's more adorable than a romantic dinner made entirely of junk food? The Princess of Wales sneaking out to catch a movie with an extremely ordinary man from Pakistan, that's what.

When she's not sneaking into cinemas, Diana agrees to meet with Bashir, who convinces her that people are listening in on her conversations because they see her as a problem. She's powerful and popular, which is a dangerous combination according to the crown.

Diana agrees. She knows things. She's a threat. And the bigger the threat, the more lies are created to silence the problem. The best thing Diana can do is go public with her story. Even though Oprah and Barbara Walters are interested, the BBC would give her full control. Additionally, she would be protected by a network with journalistic integrity.

Back at the palace, Elizabeth questions her sister about Diana. She assumes Margaret and the Princess talk since Margaret has always been sympathetic toward the Princess.

Although Margaret doesn't ever converse with Diana, she does understand her plight. Diana is an outsider. She's emotionally complex. She has flair, character, and star quality. The system isn't easy for people like them.

People who have a story to tell.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Netflix Elizabeth Debicki

Episode 8: "Gunpowder"

Once again, Prince William is having tea with Granny, but this time, he's advocating for the Queen to upgrade to satellite television. Elizabeth scoffs. Watching anything but the BBC would be treason.

Oh, the foreshadowing. At that exact moment, Bashir argues with a colleague when he informs Bashir that the Diana interview will have to be approved by the higher-ups at the BBC. Cut to Chairman of the Board Marmaduke "Duke" Hussey's wife and dear friend of the Queen, asking her husband to put together a fun 70th birthday celebration special to show the BBC's appreciation of their sovereign.

Meanwhile, John Birt, the Director General of BBC, who is in charge of programming, is having a small aneurysm as Bashir details Diana's agenda for the interview that is just days away. Yes, she will be critical of the monarchy. Of course, she's going to go after Charles. Birt is concerned that Diana is airing her personal agenda on a national platform. In short, Birt predicts this will be a massive mistake, and their own chairman will more than likely object.

Speaking of Duke, while hosting Birt for a quick lunch, he pulls weight and asks for a favor. Duke wants Birt to whip up a fun tribute for the Queen. She's the best, and it's up to the BBC to let everyone know just how lucky they are to have such a remarkable sovereign. Birt rolls his eyes and asks if it's necessary to "kiss the ring."

Duke warns Birt that for better or for worse, they have a monarchy. This isn't new Britain. This is GREAT Britain. The BBC exists thanks to the royals. It's time they celebrate their greatest asset.

Birt leaves the meeting annoyed and throws himself head first into the deep end of the Diana interview, which will be recorded on November 5. It's Guy Fawkes Night, a British holiday commemorating a failed assassination attempt on King James I and his parliament more than 400 years ago. Everyone, including the Queen and her immediate family, will be galavanting around a bonfire to celebrate that the monarchy is still alive and kicking. No one will even consider what Diana is doing.

We see Charles and Camilla kissing as we hear Diana tell the sordid details of her marriage. The Queen is laughing with her husband as the Princess admits she is the equivalent of an invisibility cloak. She will no longer remain silent.

In fact, Diana personally gives the Queen a head's up that a "rather frank interview" is airing on November 20. A rattled Elizabeth wonders if a public forum is the best place to clear a few things up regarding her marriage. Diana notes that she tried to do this, per the system, on many occasions, but the Queen has never been available to discuss matters.

Elizabeth does not back down. On the contrary, she addresses her daughter-in-law with resolve. Not once has Elizabeth ever said Diana was a mistake. She is a valued member of the royal family, and the Queen has defended her as such for years. Diana's feelings of being an outcast are a figment of her imagination. Also, is it too late to stop the interview from airing?

That would be an affirmative.

Diana is somewhat crushed to hear that the interview will air on the Queen's wedding anniversary. Ugh. Although it wasn't intentional timing, there is an element of uneasiness, and one has to wonder if Bashir picked this date with purpose.

To make matters worse, Birt informs Duke that he will not be churning out any special on the Queen's birthday or anniversary. Instead, the Princess of Wales will give a tell-all interview that will define the BBC.

This is an accurate statement. We watch and listen to Diana in the interview, admitting that the best way to break down a personality is to isolate it. We cringe when she delivers her bombshell, now-infamous line: "There were three of us in this marriage. It felt a bit crowded."

Diana isn't speaking out of bitterness or anger. She's sad because her marriage has failed. And even though she will never be the queen of the country, she would like to be the queen of the people's hearts.

Mission almost accomplished.

The Crown Season 5, Episode 9 Olivia Williams
The Crown Season 5, Episode 9 Olivia Williams

Netflix Olivia Williams

Episode 9: "Couple 31"

With the BBC interview swirling the airwaves, Queen Elizabeth has no choice but to write a personal letter on Her Majesty's stationery to the Prince and Princess of Wales. The termination of their marriage is not only inevitable but preferable at this point.

Showrunners set the stage by depicting a day in the life of a handful of average British couples who have also decided to get a divorce. We see the monotony of the decision unfold in the courthouse. Everything is proper, brisk, and punctual. What once was a loving marriage is stamped broken in minutes.

It's the part leading up to the two minutes it takes to legally dissolve a marriage that's time-consuming. Diana has demands. Charles has demands. Camilla is holed up in her home, thanks to the paparazzi living at the end of her driveway. The volcano is rumbling, and Queen Elizabeth thinks Prime Minister John Major should act as a mediator between all parties to ensure nothing explodes.

Charles hires a "spin doctor" or PR expert, Mark Bolland, to help Camilla navigate her part in this play. His advice? Charles and Camilla need to get married. Sure, remarriage while the first wife is still alive is treason in Charles' book. Still, it's the only way to get the public to accept Camilla as a person who isn't going anywhere. She needs to be in the spotlight. People need to know her as a future sovereign.

Meanwhile, the Prime Minister tries to gently convince Charles to accept Diana's request for a financial settlement with zero fixed terms. It's liberating! On the flip side, he asks Diana to be more flexible. She will receive a healthy sum if she refrains forever from speaking of the marriage, the monarchy, or anything that can be considered damaging to the crown.

Cut to Bolland encouraging Charles and Camilla to get ready. History proves that he can't help their image until the divorce is resolved. Diana has been perceived as disloyal to the crown, so they need to be the reasonable ones. In public, they must be stable, settled, and mature. No matter what Diana requests, sign the papers, take the high ground, and get it done. Then Camilla can come out into the open.

Charles does just that. And then he finds himself at Kensington Palace, knocking on Diana's door. For a moment, things are awkward, but the couple soon sinks into a natural rhythm. Emotions flow differently when it's just the two of them.

Charles compliments Diana's appearance and follows up the kind statement with an apology that he didn't say enough nice things when they were together. He makes sure to inquire about Diana's rumored relationship with a doctor, but she quickly shuts that conversation down with a curt, "I scared him off." The BBC interview fractured many of Diana's relationships.

When the Prince pops a handful of stale nuts in his mouth and grimaces, Diana offers him something to eat. I'm delighted by the Prince and Princess of Wales sharing a serving of scrambled eggs at the kitchen table where they never sat as a family.

The pair lays it all out on said table and perform a painful autopsy on their relationship. Charles thinks Diana was too shy and difficult at times. Diana claims he never tried to bring her out of her shell, opting to be surrounded by other people who made him more comfortable. But there was always love and respect. Everyone thought so. Did you see their fairytale wedding? The entire world placed a ton of pressure on both of their shoulders. And they couldn't bear it together.

Diana's soulful eyes meet Charles, and she whispers, "I never stood a chance with Camilla." Charles doesn't argue. He simply states, "Neither did Camilla."

Things turn south when Charles reminds Diana that she told the entire world he wasn't fit to be king. Diana understands his frustration but informs the Prince that her words were twisted. She thinks the monarchy will stop him from doing what makes him happy.

Charles whines that it's not about his likes and dislikes. He was born into this role! So was William. She knew what she was getting into when she married him!

Nope. Diana married a man. A man she loved dearly. Not a monarchy in waiting. And she had a son with that man.

Charles looks stunned. His expression doesn't change when Diana asks the question on everyone's mind. "Why did you marry me?" You can hear a pin drop when Charles honestly answers, "I had no choice. My parents were perfectly aware I loved someone else."

There it is.

Diana lands a low blow by wondering if his parents chose a younger, more popular wife to help him succeed in his reign. That popularity has clearly been transferred to William, who everyone prefers to see as king. Not Charles.

Charles receives this punch to the gut without flinching. He's heard this a thousand times. The Prince straightens his spine and declares that he is more certain than ever that he will find the happiness that has eluded him for 16 years now that Diana is out of his life.

The next thing we see is the stagnant courtroom filled with photographers. Finally, the case is called for couple number 31. The man with the powdered wig consents to grant the divorce decree.

And just like that, the royal relationship is severed forever.

The Crown Season 5
The Crown Season 5

Keith Bernstein/Netflix Lydia Leonard, Bertie Carvel

Episode 10: "Decommissioned"

The final episode for season 5 opens with a very eager Dodi Al Fayed on the phone with his father, making two requests. First, can he give him a few million dollars to buy a house in Malibu before Michael Douglas swoops in? Second, can he send the family jet to the United States so Dodi can bring his new girlfriend to meet Mohammed?

The girlfriend is American model Kelly Fisher. According to the subtitles sprawling across the bottom of the screen as the Al Fayeds bicker over dinner in Arabic, she's not good enough for Mohammed. He wants his son equally yolked to someone who is their equal. Mou Mou compares Kelly to a swimsuit model. She will bring shame to the family, just like Dodi's joke of a movie career. The Al Fayeds deserve royalty.

Speaking of royals, it's the Queen's birthday, and everyone has gathered to celebrate her with original artwork, and that singing mounted bass that was so popular in the late nineties. My ultimate wish is that the Queen hung the fish in her guest powder room in Buckingham Palace.

At lunch, Charles brings up the televised "monarchy debate" that pretty much threw the royals under the bus. The crown's response is to send Charles to Hong Kong, where the colony is cutting ties with the monarchy. Moreover, it will be the final voyage on Britannia since the new Prime Minister Tony Blair is uninterested in restoring her to her former glory.

If Tony Blair is in, that means the calm, dependable John Major is out. He's lost his position to a young, successful guy who made the labor party cool again. The new guy wants the Britannia to be privately financed, which sends Anne over the edge. The royal yacht can be rented? Will McDonald's sponsor the starboard side?

The royal family shuts it down and are all appalled when Charles is the only one who admits to liking the idea. Queen Elizabeth would rather Britannia be decommissioned before she's passed on to others.

So it's settled. Charles will travel to Hong Kong, slumming it with business class, while the Prime Minister lives it up behind a velvet curtain in the front of the plane. He will deliver his speech in torrential rain and return on Britannia's last voyage.

As the Union flag is lowered, Charles' speech speaks of a new future, independence, and progress. He encourages the people of Hong Kong to preserve their liberties and invites the entire world to learn from their example.

Then he takes an undocumented meeting with Tony Blair on the Britannia, comparing the Prime Minister to his brother. Charles is giddy that new, young blood is in town and hopes Tony is not one to cling to the past. Much like the retirement of the royal yacht, Charles feels the family needs a similar transformation. Wouldn't the public like to see a happily married future king?

Mind you, Charles respects the old, blue-haired people who advise the Queen, but if they want to preserve what's best for the crown, Tony needs to get on board with the monarchy's future. Also known as the Prince of Wales' future.

I wonder if Queen Elizabeth felt that stab to her heart.

Back in England, Elizabeth is briefed that Hong Kong went well, but Prince Charles had a few side agendas on his itinerary. Not only did he have a holiday with Camilla, but he met with the Prime Minister to speak about the future of Britain.

Elizabeth: "Ask Charles to come see me as soon as he has a moment."

Somebody's in trouble.

While Charles heads over to Mummy's house, Diana and Mou Mou carry on a conversation using basic sign language from their opposing boxes at the ballet. Mou Mou asks Diana to meet him after for a bite. She begrudgingly agrees and is miserable as she sits with Mohammed and his wife in front of a restaurant window with a thousand bulbs flashing.

Diana has heard that Charles wants to throw a big party for Camilla's 50th birthday. She wants to take the boys to America for a summer holiday but isn't allowed. Mou Mou offers for Diana and her sons to join him on his yacht in Saint-Tropez. Won't that be fun?

It sounds tempting, yet Diana still has to get somewhat of permission from the crown to take the boys, even though it is her turn to have them for the summer. The Queen is informed, and even though she'd rather the future sovereign not galavant around on an Egyptian man's yacht for two weeks, her hands are technically tied.

Next, Elizabeth must deal with Charles, who has just entered her chambers. She makes no mistake that she knows about her son's holiday with his girlfriend and the fact that he had a private audience with the Prime Minister. Charles is outraged. Can't his mother get on board with Camilla? This is happening! The people want him to be happy, and the Prime Minister agrees.

This is the moment when steam comes out of Elizabeth's ears. The sovereign is the only person in the family to have direct contact with Tony Blair. Charles laments that he will one day be the sovereign, and his tiny little mother barks, "Not yet."

Here we go again. The moment of truth. Charles stares his mother down and chokes out a straightforward question: When?

We all know how this turns out. Elizabeth curtly explains that the role of the sovereign is a role for life. Let the record show that the Queen was 96 when she passed away this year.

Charles' shoulders fall in defeat. He gets one last dig in before he excuses himself. Hong Kong easily removed itself from the monarchy. That's what happens when people fail to move with the times. If they continue to hold onto "Victorian notions" as a way to do business, the world will leave them behind. And those who remain will be left with nothing.

The crown is in a fragile state. What can save them from further public scrutiny?

The answer lies in a popular young woman packing for a trip to Saint-Tropez, the son of an Egyptian billionaire proposing to his girlfriend, and their inevitable demise that will bring a nation together through the act of mourning.

The Crown season 5 is now streaming on Netflix.

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