Couples With One Partner Who Grew Up Poor And Another Who Grew Up Rich Are Sharing Their Differences
Recently, married couple Michaela and Alex Akins spoke to BuzzFeed about what it's like to live with a spouse who grew up in a different economic class.
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In a viral TikTok video, Michaela, who experienced homelessness and grew up in poverty, noticed how she eats all of her food to avoid being wasteful, while Alex eats until he is full. On the other hand, Alex noticed that Michaela saves used gift bags, while he has a tendency of throwing them away.
Inspired by their story, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share differences they have noticed between them and their partners who grew up in a different class level, and here are some of the best responses:
1."Talking about life planning and futures, my husband asked what inheritance my parents and their siblings received at the time of my grandparents' passing, and if I'd get any jewelry or something of value. He legitimately did not grasp the concept that there were only photographs, a very small toolbox of wrenches my grandfather made, and some crocheted/embroidered linens."
2."I had a boyfriend who would crank the heat up to 75 degrees all winter, then blast the AC at 68 all summer — all while wearing basically the same outfit of jeans and a tee year-round. I didn't mind it when he did it at his house, but I always saw dollar signs dripping out the thermostat when he did it at mine."
3."Growing up, if we ever needed a repair done — plumbing, AC, whatever — we would just hire someone to do it because my dad didn't want to DIY anything. My husband [who grew up in a lower class], on the other hand, grew up having to learn how to fix things around the house. So now we have to discuss hiring someone or doing it ourselves."
4."My husband was shocked when my grandmother died and we were expected to contribute some money to fund the funeral."
5."My daughter will not eat food if she doesn't like it. It drives me crazy because I have been hungry before. I try not to waste food ever. Even if I don't like it, I still eat it. I know what it is like to go hungry. So I am grateful to have food to eat."
6."I grew up poor, often living in motels or on peoples' couches. My husband grew up upper middle class. He is the impulsive shopper in the family, not me. I taught him to plan our meals a week at a time and go to the store once."
7."It drives me crazy that my bf won’t download coupons on his Kroger app. I have to take his phone and add them myself, which takes all of five minutes and will usually save $2–$5."
8."My husband came into our relationship with investment accounts. I had no idea what any of that was because I was using every penny I could to pay down my student loans."
9."My partner is a stickler about 'best by' dates. I’ve had to say multiple times that if that chunk of expensive Parmesan isn’t green all over, it is fine. Do not throw it away. Does the milk smell? No? Cool, drink it. It’s like he has no idea what spoiled food looks like compared to fresh."
10."My parents paid for my car, petrol, phone bill, and gave me an allowance, but my ex had to pay his parents to live at home."
11."I grew up working class and my husband was middle class. The main thing I noticed is food portions. I cook just enough for the meal and serve portions according to appetite. He’ll use an entire bag of pasta or potatoes for one meal and serve huge portions to everyone. There’s so much wastage and I can’t help feeling nervous/shocked that a week's worth of potatoes has been used up in one meal."
12."I used to have to budget my gas money every week, which meant that I was sometimes running on fumes the night before payday. My now-fiancé couldn't understand why I didn't always keep the tank half full."
13."My husband is very hard on stuff no matter how expensive or cheap it is because in his family they treated everything like it was disposable. For example, I read labels on clothes to make sure they are washed so they won't shrink or wear out fast, he doesn't. Growing up, his family put all the knives in the dishwasher, which damages them, and they had to buy new ones. I wash all of our knives by hand."
14."I grew up with money and, during Christmas, we got numerous gifts and would give each other a few to several presents. My boyfriend would get a gift from all six of my family members too, so he’d be like wow 10 gifts! My boyfriend's (now husband's) family drew names so each person got just one gift, and they put a dollar limit on it."
15."My husband has a hard time throwing things out. He keeps things like plastic spoons when we go to ice cream shops. It drives me nuts because I hate clutter. If I haven't touched something in a year, I throw it out, even if I might use it later."
16."My husband did not grow up with the same luxuries that I did. Now, he makes more money than I do, but he’s terrified to do anything with it, out of fear of losing it. He’s MUCH better at saving money than I am, because I fortunately didn’t have to worry about that growing up."
17."I grew up poor and my husband grew up with plenty of money. When celebrating birthdays, I always want a simple celebration with home-cooked meals and box mix cake. My husband and his family have a tradition of going out to a restaurant and, if there’s cake, it’s bought from a bakery."
18."I cut off the tops of strawberries before I slice them, which admittedly still have a small amount of fruit on them. But my husband will eat the strawberry tops, and he’ll say, 'It’s because I grew up in a trailer.'"
19."My wife and I come from vastly different financial backgrounds. I grew up poor AF and had absolutely no concept of money management. When we met, I had an overdraft of $1,000, which to me meant that if I had negative $980 in my bank account, then I 'had' $20. ... Whenever we had a few extra dollars growing up, we would spend it on renting a few movies and getting some snacks, because when you only have a few extra dollars every month, there’s really no point in saving it. On the other hand, if her bank account ever dips below $2,000 (not including her savings account), she panics."
20."My boyfriend loads the dishwasher with so much space in between dishes and runs it every day. We crammed as many plates and cups and utensils into the dishwasher, so we could run it as infrequently as possible to save water.
