After a week-long hiatus, “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert came out swinging Monday, where there was only one major target in his crosshairs: recently fired Fox personality Tucker Carlson.
“We’ve been off the air for a week. Do you know who else has? Tucker Carlson,” Colbert said at the top of his monologue.
Thus began Colbert’s onslaught against the embattled host. While telling his audience about the many scandalous messages Carlson sent, including one that called a Fox executive the c-word, Colbert changed the common joke about the word from “See You Next Tuesday” to “See You Never, Tucker.” He then poked fun at his love of Russia and “tempting” job offer from Russian State Media. “Up until now, he’s been representing Russia pro bono,” Colbert said. He also quipped that Carlson should become the pillow for My Pillow CEO Mike Lindell.
“I’ve been holding this in for a week,” Colbert said. “I feel like I just had the best pee of my entire life.”
That’s when the late night host brought up a video obtained by the “New York Times” in which Carlson discusses his “postmenopausal fans.”
“OK that seems a little rude, but that is most of his fans,” Colbert conceded. “After all, the surest way to stop ovulating forever is looking at this face.” He also mentioned that viewership in Carlson’s former time slot has decreased 56% and that “not all of that is Fox viewers dying in front of the sets.”
As for Fox News chairman Rupert Murdoch, Colbert called the billionaire a “pissed off sack of yogurt” and joked about his discomfort around Carlson’s recent religiously focused speech at the Heritage Foundation. “If I was Rupert Murdoch, I wouldn’t want to believe in hell either,” Colbert said.
Watch the full “Late Show” monologue in the video above.