Christina Perri Reveals Annual Tradition Her Family Will Start to Honor Daughter She Lost
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In November 2020, the 35-year-old "Jar of Hearts" singer gave birth to daughter Rosie, who was "born silent" at 33 weeks. In a Wednesday interview with Self, Perri said that she "had to make it almost like my job to heal my body because I had gone through so much" after the loss, and that she also had to heal her "spirit."
The musician told the outlet that her body "was truly, truly broken" after delivering Rosie early last year. She explained, "One of the hardest parts was having the postpartum body without the baby. Looking like I just had a baby, and not having the baby."
On how hard she was on herself, she continued, "I actually would get mad when I looked at myself. It was a reminder, every time, of not having her."
While Perri was physically healing, she was also in therapy to help cope with the heartbreaking loss.
"There wasn't a day I wasn't doing a healing thing, whether it was yoga, EMDR [eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy], being in a sauna, eating really healthy," she said. "I did a lot of therapy: regular therapy, trauma therapy, couples therapy. I really just did the most I could possibly do."
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Perri, who is married to TV host Paul Costabile, with whom she shares daughter Carmella, 3, is releasing Songs for Rosie to honor her stillborn daughter "because it carries forever the narrative—the correct narrative—that she exists."
Her upcoming album drops Nov. 24, on the anniversary of Rosie's death. According to the artist, the record is both part of her healing process and a reminder that Rosie is her daughter, and "will remain part of our family forever."
In 2019, Perri released a collection of lullabies for her elder daughter, called Songs for Carmella. Fast forward to the present, and the star said she initially hesitated about making music in honor of Rosie.
"There was a moment where I was like, 'Should I [make the album]? And then I was like, oh, I absolutely should,' " she told Self. "I have Songs for Carmella, and this is the same album cover. It uses the same font. It's the second volume. Because Rosie is my daughter. And she will remain part of our family forever."
Perri added, "They say when someone passes away, say their name because you don't want to lose their memory… That's also why I made Songs for Rosie. My heart is broken, but I'm honoring her."
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After she shared the loss of Rosie on social media, Perri said she heard from people she hadn't spoken to in years, like old teachers and classmates.
"When we lost Rosie, I feel like it broke the hearts of everyone that knows me," she said. "And in pain, sometimes we really feel connected."
While Perri admitted she doesn't "have all the answers," when it comes to grieving, she says she's "still sort of in it."
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"While I was healing from losing her, it felt like I was coming into my body for the first time," she explained. "I don't think I've ever taken care of myself as much as I have this year. I stopped looking in the mirror. I stopped trying to fit into my old clothes. I stopped trying to hide my body. It's probably the most gentle I've ever been with myself."
The singer and her husband have also gotten matching rose tattoos, per the outlet, and their home now has a rose tree in Rosie's memory.
Along with the release of Songs for Rosie, the couple and Carmella will celebrate Rosie with a trip to Disney on Nov. 23 and 24, which they plan to make annual.
"I decided that we're going to go to Disney World every year on Rosie's birthday, because there's no better place to honor a kid than the happiest place on earth," Perri tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "To turn a sad day into joy with Carmella is the best thing we can do. We're going full out with shirts, and we're going to talk about Rosie the whole time."
