Chris Harrison Says He Lost 20 Lbs. and Was 'Scared to Death' amid Bachelor Controversy Fallout
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
John Fleenor/Getty Chris Harrison
Chris Harrison is speaking out for the first time about the controversy that led to his abrupt exit from Bachelor Nation.
On the first two episodes of his new podcast The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison, the 51-year-old television personality addressed the fallout from his "infamous" February 2021 interview with former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay.
"I was heartbroken. I was gutted. I was embarrassed. I was mad at myself," he admitted. "I was disappointed in myself. The last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was be an agent of anything negative — whether it had to do with race or anything."
The former host of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelorette in Paradise also revealed the personal toll the controversy took on him after hosting the ABC franchise for two decades.
"Things spun out of control for a number of reasons and I was sick, sick to my stomach," he explained. "I lost 20 pounds. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I was scared to death… It was just one gut-punch after the other, and mentally and physically I deteriorated pretty bad."
Harrison admitted that during the interview, he was not his "normal, eloquent self."
"I didn't express myself like I normally do. I think that part we all agree on," he shared. "But as far as my standing in the community and the show, it really didn't register on the Richter scale. There was much more egregious things going on in the world and things that had happened."
However, the former host said that his "apology was warranted because I did misstep and I made a mistake."
During the fallout, Harrison recalled "certain cast members" campaigning to take over his hosting duties while others — including Ben Higgins, Ashley Iaconetti, and Catherine and Sean Lowe — reached out to him personally to offer their support.
Eric McCandless/Getty Images Chris Harrison
RELATED: Chris Harrison Confirms Bachelor Exit — Sean Lowe, Becca Kufrin and More Franchise Alums React
He also gave a shout out to BiP bartender Wells Adams for reaching out amid the controversy.
"Wells was in a very difficult situation because obviously he was still kind of connected to the show and he was doing stuff on Paradise, but he was one of the first to reach out to me and just say, 'Look, I'm staying out of this. I love you and respect you,'" he said. "I appreciated that, and I appreciate him, because if anybody had sights on the job it easily was Wells, and deservedly so by the way."
Harrison believed that Adams "was going to get the job" before Jesse Palmer was named the new host.
"I thought that was kind of the easiest call since Ken Jennings got the Jeopardy job. He's in the family. Everyone loves him. It just seemed like a layup, but that's not how it went down," he explained. "I even told him, 'Man, I won't speak out publicly, because I don't think that would help you at all. In fact it would probably do a lot more harm than good, but I really hope you get the job. I think you'd be great at it.'"
Getty Images (2) Chris Harrison (L); Rachel Lindsay
RELATED: Rachel Lindsay Says She 'Didn't Expect' Chris Harrison to Leave Bachelor Franchise
Harrison's June 2021 departure from the hit franchise came months after a controversy in which former contestant Lindsay — the franchise's first Black Bachelorette — called him out for defending another former cast member's past racist behavior.
Lindsay spoke out against Harrison after he seemingly defended contestant Rachael Kirkconnell during a 14-minute, unedited interview with Lindsay on Extra for past social media posts in which she dressed in Native American attire as a costume and attended an Antebellum plantation-themed ball. She later apologized, admitting that her "ignorance was racist" and that "I was wrong."
In a statement at the time, Harrison also apologized for "wrongly speaking in a manner that perpetuates racism."
In confirming news of his departure four months later, Harrison alluded to future endeavors.
"I've had a truly incredible run as host of The Bachelor franchise and now I'm excited to start a new chapter," he wrote in a since-deleted Instagram post. "I'm so grateful to Bachelor Nation for all of the memories we've made together. While my two-decade journey is wrapping up, the friendships I've made will last a lifetime."
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
The first two episodes of iHeartPodcasts' The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison are streaming now everywhere podcasts are available.
