Chloe Bailey Opens Up About Feeling Separation Anxiety When Apart from Sister Halle: 'I Was Lost'

Chloe Bailey Allure
Chloe Bailey Allure
  • Oops!
    Something went wrong.
    Please try again later.
  • Oops!
    Something went wrong.
    Please try again later.

Micaiah Carter Chloe Bailey

Chloe Bailey is opening up about what it's like to be away from her sister, Halle.

In a new Allure cover story interview published Thursday, the 23-year-old singer, dancer, actress, and producer recalled feeling separation anxiety while apart from Halle, 22, who was living in London — presumably filming Disney's upcoming live-action The Little Mermaid — for six months amid the height of the pandemic.

During their time apart, Chloe worked on her forthcoming debut solo album, preceded by the singles "Have Mercy" and "Treat Me," and she told Allure the creative process was a source of healing. "Music saved me," she told the magazine. "I was at a low moment where I felt lost, like I didn't have any sense of who I was."

Chloe Bailey and Halle Bailey of Chloe x Halle attend Global Citizen Live on September 25, 2021 in Los Angeles, California.
Chloe Bailey and Halle Bailey of Chloe x Halle attend Global Citizen Live on September 25, 2021 in Los Angeles, California.

Getty Chloe x Halle

The siblings' respective work has since landed them in the same city, Atlanta, where Chloe's shooting the upcoming church choir comedy Praise This, and Halle's filming an updated musical film version of The Color Purple. But listeners will hear the "Have Mercy" singer's emotional journey, including the low points of lonesomeness, in the lyrics of her yet-to-be-titled debut record.

RELATED: Chloe Bailey Says 'It's Hard for Me to Speak Up Sometimes': 'We All Deserve the Best'

"In the beginning you can tell that [the person] who is singing is like a bird with broken wings. As time went on, you can hear me finding my strength and confidence," said Chloe. "I didn't want to lose that story as I pieced the [songs] together."

Some fans may be surprised to learn Chloe ever lacked confidence, considering the sexy, powerful messages of self love found in her solo music and videos. Elsewhere in the interview, she spoke at length about the differences between her personality on stage and in real life.

"When I'm [not performing], I'm a bubbly, corny, clumsy person," she told Allure. "But when the lights turn on, something just happens. I'm somebody else."

"I feel like it's not fair for us to say we're only one version of who we are," Chloe continued. "We all have multiple layers to ourselves."

Chloe Bailey Allure
Chloe Bailey Allure

Micaiah Carter Chloe Bailey

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

On the topic of her stage performance, which has faced criticism for being over-the-top and "too sexy," she wondered if such qualities have been inside her all along.

"Maybe this is a side of me that I've always wanted to get out but I've been too scared. The Chlöe onstage? I'm fearless. I feel sexy. I feel strong. I feel like nothing can hold me back," she said. "When I'm off the stage, it's the complete opposite. That version onstage is still a really nice person, but she doesn't take any s—. She knows who she is."

By sharing her experiences, she hopes to help others accept and embrace their emotional dichotomies. "We're not all supposed to be perfect, like bad bitch and confident all the time. We have different layers, ebbs and flows to our lives," added the musician. "It would be completely unfair for me to portray myself to the world like I have no problems. Because I do."

RELATED: Halle Bailey Denies She Has Breast Implants: 'God Gave Me These'

Chloe Bailey Allure
Chloe Bailey Allure

Micaiah Carter Chloe Bailey

Chloe always wanted to be a singer-songwriter growing up, but part of what initially held her back from tapping into her confidence was the lack of women whose bodies resembled her curvy figure in pop culture.

"It's complicated. I've always had thick thighs and a butt. But I was growing up at a time when, if someone on television told you that you had a big butt, they meant it as an insult," she explained. "So I was a little ashamed of my curves. I tried to hide them. It took a very, very long time. Now my favorite thing about [my body] is my butt."

A major helping hand in Chloe's journey to self-confidence was seeing other women who looked like her find success while remaining unapologetically themselves. One in particular was her mentor, Beyoncé, who discovered the Bailey sisters on YouTube and later signed them to her Parkwood Entertainment company.

"The first woman I saw embrace her body was Beyoncé," she told Allure. "Hearing her sing 'Bootylicious' or seeing her perform on the BET [Awards] made me feel calm about my body. Also Jill Scott. She showed me another beautiful, full-figured, thick, sexy, curvaceous [woman]. And I was like, that is sexy."