Should You Have a Child-Free Wedding? Celeb Wedding Planner Lisa Vorce Breaks Down the Pros and Cons
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Consider these factors when weighing whether or not to leave the little ones off your guest list
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For many couples, deciding whether to invite children to their wedding can be a difficult decision.
While leaving little ones off the guest list can solve some key planning challenges, it can also ruffle a few feathers. Some people can't help but feel offended when they are told their children must stay home. It also means parents have to rustle up child-care for their night out, or even weekend away.
Still, a growing number of brides and grooms are choosing to have adults-only events. According to Zola, which released its 2024 Wedding Trends: First Look Report on Dec. 11, 79.5% of couples surveyed said they are in favor of kid-free weddings.
To help make your decision easier and less fraught, celebrity wedding planner Lisa Vorce whose long list of A-list clients include John Legend and Chrissy Teigen and Kate Upton and Justin Verlander breaks down the pros and cons to a child-free wedding.
Pro: Parents Can Enjoy a Date Night
Keeping kids off the guest list means parents can turn the wedding celebration into a special date night for themselves. "For many parents, they are so grateful for this opportunity and view it as a gift!" Vorce says. "They can be fully present and focus on you and your big day rather than worrying about their children."
Con: The Photos Will Be Missing That 'Cute' Factor
When it comes to the spontaneity that makes a photo truly special, kids never fail to deliver. With adults-only weddings, Vorce says, there's "a missed opportunity" to capture those sweet and unforgettable photos that become instant favorites.
"You are 100% guaranteed to get some extra special adorable photos when you have the little ones involved," the event planner notes.
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Pro: No Noisy Distractions
For some couples, the only sounds they want to hear at their wedding are their guests laughing and enjoying themselves and the DJ spinning a killer playlist. Having little kids running around can undoubtedly get noisy.
"As cute as they are, sometimes a crying baby during a ceremony or during a special toast is not so cute," Vorce notes. "Having a child-free event ensures neither of these scenarios will happen."
Con: You Risk Offending Some of Your Guests
Not including children in your wedding is a decision that some people may find off-putting or logistically inconvenient.
"A child-free event may unfortunately lead to some of your friends and family being slightly offended, as often times the child-free rule is interpreted as 'you don’t like my children,' or it may just put them in a position where they simply cannot attend due to lack of child care," Vorce explains. "Not allowing them to bring their children will oftentimes mean they may choose not to attend."
Pro: No Editing Necessary
Without any young guests to consider, couples can host a truly adult affair. "You don’t have to worry about editing the event to be kid-friendly," Vorce says.
"Everything from potentially removing explicit [song] lyrics to modifying your dinner reception layouts (where to place the high chairs!), to ordering special meals," she continues. "Not to mention the safety concerns of having children near pools, large bodies of water, and such. Without children that is once less planning layer to worry about."
Con: Weddings Make for Fun Memories for Kids
There's no doubt that weddings can be an exciting experience for kids — whether it's getting to wear a fancy dress as a flower girl or hitting the dance floor at the reception.
"So many children have the most amazing memories of being involved in or attending a wedding," Vorce says. "Technically it’s not your responsibility, but omitting children from the big day doesn’t give them the opportunity to build those memories. You’ll be giving them a great gift if they are included."
Related: Etiquette Expert Shares Three Tips to Avoid Being a Bad Wedding Guest (Exclusive)
Pro: A Smaller Guest List
Weddings are expensive — according to Zola, the average cost of a wedding will top $30,000 in 2024 — so hosting a kid-free event means fewer guests and therefore some money saved in the budget.
"Even though a children’s meal is less than an adult's meal, the children are still another line item on the guest list and included in catering and rental counts," says Vorce. "Going child-free helps keep the guest count in check and is a pro on the budget management side."
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