“The Challenge” star Big T on being season 39's primary target: 'I don't need to make more friends'

"I was quite delusionally optimistic coming into the season because I thought, let's be a political princess, and unfortunately I wasn't able to," Big T tells EW.

Warning: This article contains spoilers for The Challenge: Battle for a New Champion episode 8, "Struggling to Hold It Together."

The Challenge star Tula "Big T" Fazakerley is in her revenge era.

Ever since season 39's Battle for a New Champion began, she found herself as the primary target. Despite there being tons of larger physical threats in the house, her reputation as a smart political and social player combined with her background as a U.K. player not tied to the larger American alliance meant she was constantly thrown into elimination. And after winning two, her luck finally ran out when she was forced to compete against champion Kaycee Clark in Pole Wrestle, and was sent home.

But Big T is proud of her season, and can't wait to get her vengeance in future seasons against those who targeted her over and over again. "You know what they say: You throw me to the wolves, I'll come back leading the pack," she tells EW. "In regards to the people I played with this season, I do have a lot of friends who are vets. I'll be very interested to do a season with my friends and the people who I played with in [season] 39."

Below, Big T breaks down what it was like being the primary target this season, how it forced her to discover a new side of herself as a physical player, and more.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You were target No. 1 all season long. Why was the house so focused on getting you out when there are still so many big threats in the game?

TULA "BIG T" FAZAKERLEY: A lot of people came into this season having just done Ride or Dies together and they'd all cemented friendships outside of the game. But this cast in particular has made such a conscious effort to be friends outside the game because they know they'll be playing together in the future. From interviews, I hear Jay, for instance, say that he's been friends with Nurys for five years, and you can't compete with that. I felt as if I was fighting against the tide. However, I was quite delusionally optimistic coming into the season because I thought, let's be a political princess, and unfortunately I wasn't able to.

You're usually a really strong political player, so what was that like for you, to not have that tool in your arsenal this season?

You know what? It was brilliant because then I realized that I had to rely on another skill, which was strength. I just had to win. I did miss strategizing — I love a good old scheme — but I just have to train, train, train, win, win, win. I had to have a winner's mindset. Going into dailies, I used to think, "I'm so scared." I need to start thinking to myself, "T, you have to win. You have no option but to win." That really has affected how I will play the game in future seasons, and it's wonderful. I got to explore a different side to myself.

You say in this episode that anything Melissa does reflects on you. Do you partially blame her for your exit because of how much she kept on fighting with other people in the house?

Whether it had a negative impact on my game or not, I really don't care, to be honest. Everybody was saying to Melissa all season, "Big T has a negative impact on you. If you weren't so close to Big T, then you wouldn't have a target on your back." So if I say that about Melissa, "Everything she does impacts me," it works both ways and we're both fine with it. Because if I'm going up to win at the top, she's winning with me. And unfortunately if I'm leaving, it seems like we're dragging each other down together. It is what it is.

What did you think of how she'd get into a fight with someone new each week?

I understand her frustration. Melissa and I have different personalities in that way because I'm not as outwardly fiery, but that's Melissa. That's how she's going to express herself. And to be honest, as a viewer, I did find some of it very entertaining to watch because we all love a little bit of drama. What I love is Melissa's always going to be herself. She's fearless. Some people would rather be sneaky, go behind people's backs. ... You can take [Melissa at] face value, and if she feels a certain way about you, she's going to let you know.

Did you actually try to bribe Ed with money to not vote for you?

[Laughs] I did! It was Horacio's cash, actually. When I realized that what I was trying to pull off politically wasn't working, I was grasping at straws. Let me just do some old fashioned bribery. I did bribe several other cast members. But the funny thing with Ed was, I actually thought it was going to work because I offered him 50 euros, which was quite a lot.

When Kaycee pulled your name in the Draw, did you already know it was going to be Pole Wrestle?

I didn't know it was Pole Wrestle, but I knew it was going to be something very physical. Because Kaycee and I are so close, when she pulled up my name, I felt so upset. But then I felt so upset for Kaycee because I knew how much that would kill her — she had heard through the grapevine how I was winning eliminations this season, and so for her to be in a situation where she could possibly take me out literally broke her heart. When we were putting on all of our safety gear, I've not seen Kaycee look that sad. The irony of it being Pole Wrestle is crazy because Kaycee actually taught me how to Pole Wrestle during Double Agents. We had a broom, and Nany and Kaycee were teaching me the positions and all this stuff.

Wow, talk about a full circle moment.

It was. But Kaycee felt so bad she split her prize money with me.

Not a bad consolation prize! What it was like actually competing against Kaycee in Pole Wrestle?

I could tell she wasn't probably doing her hardest strength — or maybe I'm just stronger than her. I was trying to have this winner's mentality. "T, you've just got to try. Do whatever you can do." I mean, I do know where she has her injuries — that's what happens when you get close to people! I was like, "Let me get this shoulder in that knee." [Laughs] But I kind of also just thought of it as practice for future, if I was to go into a season again and do Pole Wrestle, at least I faced it once before. I'm just trying to see what I could learn technique-wise from being in that situation.

But then you actually won a round! How did it feel beating Kaycee in that moment?

I was really excited by that. I was really happy. I was thinking to myself, "Maybe I have a chance here." Instead of just giving up on myself, I still had a little bit of optimism.

You've had so many moments this season where you've realized that you're so much stronger than you were giving yourself credit for. This is another perfect example. Kaycee is seen as a strong champion, and now you've beat her in a round of Pole Wrestle, arguably the most strength-based elimination. That is the most proof you could possibly need of how strong you really are.

Yeah, definitely. At least I have one high from being in that situation. Sorry, I'm getting a bit tongue-tied thinking about it because it was actually very emotional for both of us. After that, she won the rest of the points and reality just started to hit me that I was out of the game. I've never been so devastated to leave the game out of all of my seasons. I enjoyed exploring this physical side to myself, and for that to end ... For the first time in my Challenge career, I actually started to believe in myself. That comes from winning two eliminations. So even though I shouldn't say this to those people, I'll actually say thank you for putting me down every single time because you gave me the opportunity to show myself that actually, I've got this, and I can do this. It was a nice moment of self-discovery.

So how will this experience change you going into future seasons?

I'm definitely not going to take people at face value as much. I'm going to approach people slightly differently. I remember CT said to me one season, "The Challenge is not a place you go to make friends." And I was like, "Yeah, I know, but I can." Now I understand, that's not the case. I am so grateful for the friendships that I have made, like Melissa, Priscilla, Esther, Bailey, Kaycee, who are literally my best friends outside of the game. And that's enough. I don't need to make more friends on the show. I just need to focus on just the game and really just study people and see and not be naive in that aspect.

But I'm very interested to see my development with my more physicality side in the game. For instance, when we did the pyramid daily, I was so scared, but I looked down and I wasn't scared. So my fear of heights is decreasing. Challenge gods, please don't test that. [Laughs] Seeing these changes within myself, I am conquering fears and I really like that.

This season also featured another high for you when you had your coming out party in the house. Did you come into this season planning to do that?

I was actually going to have a coming out party in London with my friends and my ex-girlfriend. She's not extra like me, and she was like, "We are not having a coming out party." I was like, "Please, I want to!" And then I got the call for the show, so I just had to train, train, train and focus. And then I think I was talking to Jujuy about how I wanted to have a coming out party, and she's like, "Why don't you do it in the house?" It was a great moment. The cast, everyone, production, I'm so grateful to them, they made me feel so comfortable.

You see me crying a lot because I was so afraid to come out to my family. To be able to come out and be not rejected in that environment was just so wonderful for me. I was so scared for that episode to air. I actually didn't know when it was going to air, and I thought I had a few more weeks. I hadn't told my family, and someone from was like, "It's tomorrow." I was like, "Wait, what?!" I called Melissa and was like, "It's airing in an hour. I still haven't told my family. Can you ring them?" She was like, "No, you've got to." It was such a moment of panic. So actually my family ended up finding out the same time as the rest of the world.

Oh wow. Did you end up having conversations with them after they saw the episode?

Yeah, we have. I don't recommend doing that. Anyone watching or listening, please don't do what I did! But I'm very grateful. I had pretty much a very positive response.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

The Challenge: Battle for a New Champion airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.

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Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly.