“The Challenge”'s Leroy Garrett Talks Male Postpartum Depression: 'Hit Me Like a Ton of Bricks' (Exclusive)
Garrett shares his two kids, son Kingston and daughter Aria, with fiancé and castmate Kam Williams
Kam Williams/Instagram
Leroy Garrett and Kam Williams with son KingstonLeroy Garrett is opening up about his experience with male postpartum depression.
In an exclusive clip shared with PEOPLE ahead of this week's episode of The Challenge: All Stars, Garrett, 38, reveals that he's been dealing with the condition after he welcomed his first baby with fiancé and castmate Kam Williams, 29.
The couple shares son Kingston Lee, now 23 months, and daughter Aria, 9 weeks.
"My son has been one of the biggest blessings in my life but when he came out, I was scared," Garrett says in a confessional. "I’m not trying to be perfect, but when I’m dead and gone I want to be able to say that I did a great job with my child. All of this weight was just on my shoulders. Am I going to be a great dad?"
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The competitor goes on to say that he couldn't understand why he was feeling this way, but ended up going to therapy, which helped him process his feelings.
"I always was against therapy and having someone to talk to. And it actually worked. It helped me build tools to get me through the process," Garrett shares.
In a joint confessional with Williams, Garrett confirms that he was experiencing postpartum depression, which he says he "didn’t even know men can get."
"And I’m so happy you communicated that with me because usually with men, they always have to hide their feelings and you just have to be tough and strong and we definitely had that vulnerable moment throughout our relationship," Williams tells Garrett. "Which I think just makes us even stronger.”
Both Williams and Garrett competed in The Challenge: All Stars, before the birth of their second baby.
"Male postpartum hit me like a ton of bricks. The high expectations about becoming a father is scary," Garrett tells PEOPLE.
"Therapy helps, and having a supportive partner gets you through the storm," he continues. "It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life [but] ends up being one of the scariest and [most] uncertain times of your life."
"Talking about my worries with other dads really helped me a lot. I learned to take it one day at a time, which is easier said than done," Garrett continues. "But I now embrace fatherhood and all its ups and downs. I have all the tools for baby #2."
Now that he's feeling better, Garrett says there's one daily mantra he repeats to keep him grounded.
"My daily affirmation [is] I'm a great dad, being a father is a blessing! My kids love me, and I love them. It's all worth it in the end."
The Challenge: All Stars episodes drop on Wednesdays on Paramount+.
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