Has anyone seen the post-pandemic parenting guide?
Reflecting on the last two years exhausts me just thinking about it. There were definite highlights like spending more time together, enjoying just sitting outside, trying to garden and some low points that also included so much together time, a failed garden and the madness going on in the world outside our house that was out of my control.
In my house, we found ourselves saying things like, “when things go back to how they were…” and “when we get to do this again, it will all be different.” Now we are as close to “business as usual” as we have been in a long time, and so many of the parenting challenges we thought would pass have been brought to the surface and cannot be ignored.
One of my children doesn’t remember life before masks and dad working from home and my other child turned into the ultimate homebody. These past few months for us have highlighted how important it is for children to know that they have adults who care about them in their life, at home, at school and in their circles. I have seen firsthand how my child has responded to teachers, guidance counselors and school leadership affirming that they are rooting for her and that they are there to help her succeed. I have seen the sweetest smile from my child after reading a note from a cousin saying they are just a phone call away. These seemingly small interactions have made a huge impact.
A study from Child Trends found that “having one or more caring adults in a child’s life increases the likelihood that they will flourish and become productive adults themselves.” We are fortunate to live in a community with a thriving Boys & Girls Club that is committed to meeting the interests of Henderson County youth and their educational, physical, emotional, cultural and social needs.
I recently had the opportunity to hear Executive Director Julia Hockenberry speak about what a joy it is just to walk alongside the children at the Boys & Girls Club. She shared story after story of kids feeling supported and cared for in a way that helped them overcome so many obstacles. Last year, the club served 854 kids. Its new membership year begins on June 13 and it expects several hundred children to be there each day. The waitlist for the upcoming membership year currently stands at 63 kids and growing.
The Child Trends Study continues to say that “children and adolescents who have a formal or informal “mentor-like” relationship with someone outside their home are less likely to have externalizing behavior problems (bullying) and internalizing problems (depression).” Our local Big Brothers and Big Sisters group uses one-to-one mentoring relationships to support the critical social and emotional development needed to help build resilience and promote the mental health and well-being of thousands of children served across America. In Henderson County specifically, there are 32 “Littles” paired with “Bigs” and a growing waitlist.
The Child Trend Data and so many other studies highlight the numerous long-term benefits of having a mentor or caring adult outside the home to help promote a child’s positive wellbeing. I have the privilege of seeing our parent educators interact with the teens enrolled in our Adolescent Parenting Program and I know these babies and their parents are getting the support they need to thrive and be the best parents they can be. Not only are they getting positive attention from a caring adult, but participants get the chance to meet regularly with other teens who are also navigating the same hurdles that come with being a student, a teen parent and still wanting to be a kid themselves. Our Adolescent Parenting program currently has 20 active parents and the number of referrals is on the rise.
There is great power in a connected community that cares for its children. Bestselling author, award-winning speaker, and former foster child Josh Shipp shares his message that “every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.” In a time when it is often difficult to be that bright light to someone else, our county’s educators, counselors, mentors and volunteers have shown up in a big way to support the youth in our community and I thank you for what you have done for my child and countless others.
Jamie Wiener is the executive director of the Children and Family Resource Center
This article originally appeared on Hendersonville Times-News: CFRC column: Has anyone seen the post-pandemic parenting guide?
