Has Burger King Thailand bested America's Dairyland when it comes to the cheesiest burger?
Oh, so you’ve had a cheeseburger? Maybe you’ve stuffed your burger with cheese, a la the Jucy Lucy. Maybe you’ve layered yours with gruyere, cheddar and smoked gouda. Maybe you’ve slapped on a couple extra slices and felt pretty happy with yourself.
Well, Burger King Thailand is here to tell you that, no, you have not yet had a true cheeseburger, an honest cheeseburger, until you’ve had their Real Cheeseburger, a meatless monstrosity built with 20 thoughtfully staggered slices of American cheese stacked between two buns. That’s it! No beef patty, no lettuce, no tomatoes, no pickles, no mayo. Just cheese.
“If you didn't come to play, order now,” reads Burger King Thailand’s online menu.
The people did not come to play. After the burger debuted on Sunday, social media erupted into divergent choruses of disgust and delight. Curious consumers flocked to their nearest BK to try it and film their reactions. They’re getting hundreds of thousands of views.
Views like mine.
I’ve watched in horror as these gastro-masochists widen their maws to ingest 20 cold slices of processed cheese. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget the way it looks when the “burger” compresses into a single column of fluorescent orange once bitten into. It's like chomping down on a block of Velveeta.
It’s too much. It’s too vile. And I’m sorry, Wisconsin, but it’s just too much cheese.
Still … I’m kind of jealous we didn’t come up with it first.
This is America's Dairyland, after all, and if going for broke on the world's cheesiest burger is anyone’s game, it’s ours. Culver’s came close in 2021, when it debuted its CurderBurger, a Deluxe ButterBurger topped with a patty-sized fried cheese curd that started as an April Fool’s joke and became a real menu item on National Cheese Curd Day the following Oct. 15 (then reappeared in October 2022). But there are a few ingredients the CurderBurger had that Burger King Thailand’s Real Cheeseburger does not: a beef patty, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onion and mayo.
For shame.
We can do it, Wisconsin! We have world-renowned cheesemakers who could craft an even more egregious “cheeseburger” — with real cheese this time! All you’d have to do is slap 21 slices of real Wisconsin cheddar between a bun (or, more deliciously, a pretzel bun), and we’d be on top. Or even stuff a beef patty with American cheese and let the 20 slices of cheese stand in as the “bun.” I don’t know. Shoot for the moon (made of cheese).
Would I want to eat it? Absolutely not! Would I feel a swell of pride knowing our own Dairy State mad scientists in the lactose labs were behind it? You bet’cha.
But for now, we'll let those poseurs of processed cheese have their fun.
More: From a throwback diner to a Juicy Lucy joint, here's where to find great hamburgers in Wisconsin
This article originally appeared on Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: How did Burger King Thailand beat Wisconsin to create the cheesiest burger?
