Which books just got banned? What would Jimmy Buffett’s highway be called? A Florida news quiz | Commentary
Time again to test your knowledge about the wild, wacky, fun and disturbing news making headlines around Florida and Central Florida.
A new creature-feature movie is gearing up for production around Tampa that will showcase what famous Florida critter terrorizing residents of the Sunshine State?
A. An alligator
B. A shark
C. A python
D. A manatee
Answer: D. I’m not sure what these filmmakers were huffing when they decided to turn one of the most peaceful creatures on Earth into a killing machine. But the Tampa Bay Times reports that “No Wake Zone” will feature “a mutated manatee that terrorizes Tampa Bay.” And the big, blubbery kicker? The movie-makers want a $100,000 incentive from Hillsborough County to bring this monstrous, mutated mammal to life.
Fringe activist and online streamer Sacha Stone — who has claimed that humanity is controlled by the illuminati and a “Babylonian blood cult” and who promoted a movie called “5G Apocalypse: The Extinction Event” — recently featured a Floridian as a special guest on his show. Who was it?
A. The president of Florida’s UFO Appreciation Society
B. The leader of Florida’s anti-fluoride movement
C. The head of Florida’s Proud Boys
D. Florida’s surgeon general
Answer: D. Stone, who promotes something called a “5GBioShield” that he says will protect humans, said Dr. Joseph Ladapo was the kind of doctor his followers could trust.
State lawmakers are talking about renaming State Road A1A in honor of Jimmy Buffett. What name have they proposed for the road?
A. Jimmy Buffett Memorial Highway
B. Parrot Head Parkway
C. Buffett Boulevard
D. Fins Freeway
Answer: A … which is quite lame. In fact, I’d humbly submit any of my made-up alternatives are better than the one actually proposed.
The Charlotte County School District announced last week that it is banning all books in elementary and middle schools that do what?
A. Glorify gun violence
B. Mock bullying
C. Feature gay characters
D. Feature suicide
Answer: C. The Sarasota Herald Tribune cited a memo where school officials said they concluded that, to comply with Florida’s new “Parental Rights”/”Don’t Say Gay” law, “These characters and themes cannot exist.”
Congress narrowly avoided a shutdown of the federal government over the weekend when a last-minute compromise was reached. Many Republicans joined with Democrats to keep government running, including which Floridian?
A. Rep. Cory Mills
B. Rep. Bill Posey
C. Rep. Michael Waltz
D. Sen. Rick Scott
Answer: D. Both GOP Senators, Scott and Marco Rubio, supported the deal in the end. No local House Republicans did.
Speaking of Congress, whose family member announced this week that they are running for a Florida political office as well?
A. Daniel Webster’s son
B. Byron Donalds’ wife
C. Matt Gaetz’s father
D. Rick Scott’s daughter
Answer: C. Don Gaetz is a Panhandle Republican who served in the state Senate from 2006 to 2016 and was generally liked by members of both parties — moreso than his son who, back in those days, was known around Tallahassee as “Baby Gaetz.”
You know we’re having an active hurricane season when we’ve already reached the letter R for storm names. With Philippe and Rina already churning in the Atlantic, all of the following storm names are on deck — except which one?
A. Sean
B. Tammy
C. Ursula
D. Vince
Answer: C. Fun fact. There are never storms that start with the letter U. Nor Q, X, Y or Z for that matter. But yeah, we could theoretically see Hurricane Vince.
Sentinel sports reporter Chis Hays caught up with former UCF quarterback Blake Bortles during this past weekend’s game. What is Bortles doing these days?
A. Still playing for the NFL
B. Coaching
C. Running for political office
D. Being a full-time dad
Answer: D. Bortles went from Oviedo High School to UCF to the Jacksonville Jaguars before bouncing around a few other clubs. But he retired last year and says he’s now spending time with his 5-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son.
This week, the U.S. Supreme Court is slated to consider a lawsuit that seeks to invalidate Gov. Ron DeSantis’ “Big Tech” law. If the law stands, companies like Facebook and Twitter/X would be unable to ban Florida politicians who post what?
A. Racial slurs
B. Bald-faced lies
C. Pornography
D. Requests for bribes
Answer: All of the above. The law is so broad that it says companies wouldn’t be allowed to kick politicians off their privately funded platforms regardless of what the politicians post.
Tampa Mayor Kathy Castor made headlines when she took a recent fishing trip to the Keys and hauled in what?
A. A 500-pound swordfish
B. A 225-pound tarpon
C. A 40-pound blackfin tuna
D. 70 pounds of cocaine
Answer: D. In this uniquely Florida story, law enforcement officials estimated her honor’s catch to have a street value of around $1.1 million.
