'The Bold Type' Star Katie Stevens Talks Living with Postpartum Depression After Daughter's Birth

"I had many nights where I was having panic attacks," the actress said in a candid Instagram Story posted Monday

Katie Stevens is getting candid about her experience with postpartum depression.

The Bold Type alum, 30, welcomed her daughter Rome in February, and on Monday, the actress shared a series of videos on her Instagram Story detailing how her anxiety worsened and she had panic attacks after giving birth.

“As most of you know, I just had a baby in February, and postpartum time is wild,” Stevens began her first video. “If any of you have listened to the episode of the Hold My Hair? podcast that I did, I talked a little bit about how I struggled with some postpartum depression.”

She continued to the camera while doing her skincare routine, “I feel like people don’t talk about it enough. It looks different for everyone. For me, my anxiety got way worse. I was just overwhelmed all the time. And I personally have a severe allergy to asking for help, so I didn’t want to do that.”

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Related: Stars Who've Opened Up About Their Struggles with Postpartum Depression

Stevens, who played Jane Sloan in the hit Netflix series, then went on to open up about how she struggled with “not recognizing myself” after becoming a mom.

“Also a layer of my postpartum which I feel women don’t talk about, because they harbor some guilt around it, is just not recognizing myself,” she said. “Obviously, my role as a mother is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had in my entire life, but you go through a period that no one told me about where you just don’t recognize yourself.”

“When you have a baby, as soon as the baby is born you’re also born as a mother and there are things that you gain and things that you lose. For me, obviously, your independence and getting to do whatever you want. And now I have my daughter who I think of before everything now and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but I definitely had to go through a grieving process of my old life.”

Stevens added that she thinks it’s “healthy” to grieve your former life because “you change so much and your body has changed so much, your brain can't catch up with the speed at which you’ve changed.”

She also praised her family, friends and husband Paul DiGiovanni, whom she married in 2019, for their support during her difficult times and nighttime panic attacks.

“I had many nights where I was having panic attacks and sleepless nights because of it [postpartum depression] and I’m very lucky that I have a wonderful partner, I have wonderful family and friends that really rallied around me and helped me through that,” she said, adding that things have got better for her. “I still have my down days, but everybody told me, it gets better and there will be days that the sun shines more that’s definitely been true for me,” she said.

But Stevens said a part of her postpartum depression that is still “lingering” is “just not feeling like I'm in my own body — the body that I recognize.”

“I feel like that always gets a lot of comments from people being like, ‘You just grew a baby, of course your body’s not the same’ — all things I know,” she said. “And I’m so grateful for what my body did; my body gave me the best thing I’ll ever have, which is my daughter and I’m so grateful to my body for going through pregnancy and keeping me healthy and sustaining my daughter’s life."

The actress and singer added, "But I definitely have been struggling with my motivation and my desire to work out and to just feel good again.”

Related: Pill for Postpartum Depression Could Be Approved Next Week

“I’m not trying to 'bounce back.' I know everyone says they’re not trying to bounce back but really I haven’t given myself any sort of, ‘By this point I want to be back to my pre-baby weight.’ I don’t even know if I’ll ever get there,” she continued. “I just want to feel strong and for my back not to hurt."

"And I want to be healthy again, because I also just haven’t been eating well or taking care of myself in that department because my focus has been on my daughter, and to be the best mom I can be I also have to be the best version of myself," the new mom continued.

Stevens then revealed that she has started doing her friend Ellen’s ‘Get Fit in Twenty’ program, which is “slowly helping me get back into working out in a way that feels attainable. I can do it at home when my daughter naps,” she added, noting that she now feels “stronger and more confident in this new body.”

“My energy is back, and I’m relearning how to take care of myself with food,” she said.

The American Idol alum concluded her videos by asking her followers for some tips on motherhood. “I’m having the best time with my girl and I’m so in love,” she said. “It’s changed my life in all the best ways and us mamas gotta stick together. So let's be friends. DM me your tips.”

“Been reading all of my DMs and truly blown away from all the messages I’ve gotten from all of you,” Stevens wrote in a follow-up Instagram Story. “So many of you have shared your experiences with me, some very personal, and I'm just so grateful. Feels like I’m among some warrior mamas ❤️ Thank you for sharing with me.”

Stevens and husband DiGiovanni, 35, previously announced the arrival of their daughter on Instagram with a series of sweet photos.

"She's here 💗 2.23.23," the new mom captioned her three family snapshots. "Our sweet Rome, we are so in love with you."

If you or someone you know needs mental-health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

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