Boise State’s 3-time national champion reveals private struggle with eating disorder

Boise State graduate Allie Ostrander is already a role model to those in the running community after becoming the first woman to win three consecutive national titles in the steeplechase.

But she’s likely to impact many more because of the video she posted Friday on YouTube.

Ostrander revealed she is receiving treatment for an eating disorder at a medical facility in Colorado. She is prioritizing the treatment ahead of qualifying for the Tokyo Olympics this summer.

“I’m just gonna have to start talking about the difficult things and being honest. Yesterday actually marked five weeks for me of intensive eating disorder treatment,” Ostrander said in the video. “I entered a partial hospitalization program for eating disorder treatment, and it has been really difficult. The hardest thing I’ve done in my life.”

The Kenai, Alaska, native graduated from Boise State in 2019 with a degree in exercise science and a GPA of 4.0. Ostrander chose to forgo her senior year and has since been training as a professional with Brooks Beasts Track Club with the goal of qualifying for Tokyo.

Ostrander said the decision to enter treatment was not entirely her own, but came at the insistence of doctors with USA Track & Field, her coach and Brooks.

“I have been really hesitant to share this, because I didn’t feel ready to say anything,” Ostrander said. “Because I still, I guess, wasn’t entirely accepting of it myself. I was in a bit of denial.”

Ostrander was candid and sometimes tearful during the nearly 17-minute video in which she explained her initial hesitancy to accept help and her reasons for being open about the situation now.

“I feel a lot of guilt and shame … because I hate, hate that I have contributed to the toxic culture of an obsession with leanness and thinness and body size and appearance over ability,” she said. “I am just so frustrated with myself, because I want to be a good example and I don’t want the next generation to feel the way that I feel. I don’t want people to have the same issues.”

By sharing a private, personal struggle, Ostrander said she hopes to help normalize mental illness and the pursuit of recovery above all else.

“I really want to be the example that I needed when I was younger,” Ostrander said. “Maybe if I had seen this story when I was 12 or 11, when all this was starting, maybe it would have kept me from being in the position that I’m in today.

“Right now, as I’m going through this, I feel like I’m the first person that has, and I know that that is not true, but there just aren’t enough examples of elite athletes that have gone through intensive eating disorder recovery.”

During her time at Boise State, Ostrander racked up an extensive list of accomplishments. In addition to her three national titles in the 3,000-meter steeplechase, she is also a two-time national runner-up with second-place finishes in cross country in 2015 and the indoor 3,000 in 2018. She has eight Mountain West titles and two Mountain West Athlete of the Year honors. In 2016, Ostrander competed at the U.S. Track and Field Olympic Trials, placing eighth in the 5,000. She was the only collegiate runner in the field of 16.

So many have seen her triumphs, but Ostrander said she intends to share the ups and downs moving forward.

“No matter where you’re at, or how uncertain you feel about recovery and whether it’s worth it, or whether you can do it. I’m with you,” she said. “I’m not sure about it either, but I think it’s important, and there’s always going to be a reason to not do it. For me it was the Olympic Trials. For someone (else), it could be a school year, or a wedding or something. There’s always going to be a reason not to do it, but you’re not really fully living your life until you recover from your eating disorder, because your eating disorder’s living your life.

“… If you have doubts about your relationship with food, talk to a medical professional, see if treatment is a good idea for you. Just try to tackle it as soon as you can, because the longer it goes on the harder it gets.”