Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won't be repeated. But of course, we know they will be.
First of all: What the hell was that? Instead of a normal episode of The Walking Dead this week, we got Beth starring in some B-movie zombie flick with wooden acting, laughable dialogue, and barely any zombies. If this was called Zombie Hospital and airing at 2 a.m. on Syfy, we would've changed the channel.
Most disappointing is seeing Christine Woods, so great on the HBO comedy Hello Ladies as a struggling actress, play a ridiculous cop who rules the hospital with an iron fist. (Who put her in charge, exactly?) When she was slapping Beth (twice!) or saying lines like this:
We could only think of this scene from Hello Ladies.
And that guy giggling in the background pretty much sums up our reaction to this week's episode.
But we're not here to giggle; we're here to bring you a Brain-Dead Move. And though it was slim pickings this week, due to the episode's bizarre nature and lack of walkers, Beth did make a key miscalculation late in the game.
Determined to get away from Mean Cop Lady and Creepy Lollipop Cop (sorry, we're not bothering to learn their names), Beth teams up with janitor Noah to cook up a not-very-well-thought-out escape plan that involves dropping down an elevator shaft into a pile of dead bodies and then… blindly making a run for it, we guess?
Never mind that there are men with high-powered rifles stationed on the rooftops, ready to shoot you. But Beth and Noah did actually have a chance at a clean getaway: There was a line of cars waiting outside!
Maybe one of them had keys in it. Or maybe Noah knows how to hotwire one. (C'mon, we've seen more inexplicable things than that on this show.) The point is, they didn't even check; they just ran right past the cars and stumbled into a wave of walkers, with Beth getting recaptured as Noah managed to squeeze through a fence and escape.
But at least she was smiling, right? Too bad we weren't.
Runners-Up: Beth, for thinking that a tiny IV needle would help her fight off anyone. It's hard enough to get those into someone's arm who's willing!... Creepy Lollipop Cop, for not surveying the room for potential zombies before trying to force himself on Beth. You'd think he'd know how to clear a room… us, for sitting though this episode in the first place. Rick and Daryl are back next week, right? Please?
The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.