Ranking the Couples of 'Orphan Black'

Kelly Woo
·Writer, Yahoo Entertainment
Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) and Delphine (Evelyne Brochu) in Orphan Black Season 2.
Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) and Delphine (Evelyne Brochu) in Orphan Black Season 2.

The clones of "Orphan Black" may look alike, but they certainly don't love alike.

Their DNA may be the same, but Sarah, Alison, Cosima, Helena, and Rachel have shown that their hearts yearn for very different things. And this most recent episode proves just how unique each clone is, with the introduction of transgender Tony. He and Felix immediately sparked, so we have an all-new couple to 'ship!

We ranked the clone couples to date, from the pair with the least amount of chemistry to the duo that generates the most fireworks.

 

9. Sarah and Vic

Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) and Vic (Michael Mando) in BBC America's Orphan Black Season 1.
Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) and Vic (Michael Mando) in BBC America's Orphan Black Season 1.

What did Sarah ever see in the skeezy, hustling drug peddler? They didn't even seem to have much chemistry, and he was abusive to boot. Now he's still hanging around to torture Alison. Boo, Vic, boo.

 

8. Rachel and Paul

Orphan Black, Season 2, Episode 7, Rachel (Tatiana Maslany) and Paul (Dylan Bruce)
Orphan Black, Season 2, Episode 7, Rachel (Tatiana Maslany) and Paul (Dylan Bruce)

Icy, strait-laced, all-business Rachel occupies two of the bottom three rankings, poor thing. As sexy as she looks in her stilettos and pencil skirts, she's just too scary to generate any passion with Paul.

 

7. Rachel and Daniel

Daniel (Matthew Bennett) and Rachel (Tatiana Maslany)
Daniel (Matthew Bennett) and Rachel (Tatiana Maslany)

Whereas Rachel's union with Paul felt cold and clinical, at least she seemed to have some affection for Daniel. And they matched in just how brutally frightening they can be.

 

6. Sarah and Paul

Paul (Dylan Bruce) and Sarah (Tatiana Maslany)
Paul (Dylan Bruce) and Sarah (Tatiana Maslany)

Oh, this relationship is a hot mess... but it's still hot! When they first hooked up, he thought she was his girlfriend, Beth Childs (RIP); she had no choice but to play along, though it didn't look like she minded much. They've got sparks to spare — maybe too much. Their coupling is outright dangerous.

 

5. Tony and Felix

Felix (Jordan Gavaris) and Tony (Tatiana Maslany)
Felix (Jordan Gavaris) and Tony (Tatiana Maslany)

Love the sparring and saucy banter. And Felix being with anybody is going to be near the top of the list. The only catch? Their relationship feels almost incestuous, since Tony looks so much like Felix's foster sister Sarah.

 

4. Helena and Jesse

Orphan Black, Season 2, Episode 6, Jesse (Patrick J. Adams) and Helena (Tatiana Maslany) Orphan Black Ep 206 Day 7 Photo: Jan Thijs 2013
Orphan Black, Season 2, Episode 6, Jesse (Patrick J. Adams) and Helena (Tatiana Maslany) Orphan Black Ep 206 Day 7 Photo: Jan Thijs 2013

We didn't think crazy Helena even cared about men (or women). But she immediately clicked with trucker-hat-sporting Jesse (gues star Patrick J. Adams) in the dive bar. Sure, she totally lied about her entire life, but their intimate dance (and making out on the pool table) left us all hot and bothered.

3. Alison and Donnie

Donnie (Kristian Bruun) and Alison (Tatiana Maslany) in Orphan Black Season 2.
Donnie (Kristian Bruun) and Alison (Tatiana Maslany) in Orphan Black Season 2.

Up until this last episode, we would've ranked the married couple dead last, but Donnie has proven that he genuinely loves Alison. Sure, he's a weak pushover, but come on — that's how Alison likes it. Plus, they're both murderers, so they have that in common!

2. Sarah and Cal

Orphan Black, Season 2, Character Poster, Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) and Cal Morrison (Michiel Huisman) (BBC America)
Orphan Black, Season 2, Character Poster, Sarah (Tatiana Maslany) and Cal Morrison (Michiel Huisman) (BBC America)

Perhaps Sarah did use Cal as a mark at one point, but it's clear she has real feelings for him. At the least, she's totally attracted to him, and (more importantly) trusts him with their daughter, Kira. We hope their one steamy night together isn't the last.

 

1. Cosima and Delphine

Orphan Black, Season 2, Character Poster, Delphine (Evelyne Brochu) and Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) (BBC America)
Orphan Black, Season 2, Character Poster, Delphine (Evelyne Brochu) and Cosima (Tatiana Maslany) (BBC America)

Beautiful and brilliant — what more could you ask for in a couple? They've had their ups and downs, but Delphine has demonstrated that she cares deeply about Cosima. Her passion isn't just shown in bed, but in the lab, where she's doing everything she can to save the woman she loves.

Orphan Black airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. on BBC America.