Breaking up is hard to do.
Watching people break up? Equally hard to do.
Wow, ABC promised us some serious drama in the first of a two-part "Bachelorette" finale, and they really delivered. Brooks breaks up with Des in a painful, heartbreaking scene. She tells him she loves him; he basically says he's not that into her. Ouch.
Poor Des. At least she's doesn't ugly-cry. That's something, right?
Overnight Date: Drew
The evening starts on a very happy note, with Des meeting Drew for one of those festive "let's pretend like we're a normal couple on vacation on a tropical island." They shake maracas, do the limbo, and make out on a top of a cliff. Totally normal couple vacation behavior.
(As an aside: Did anyone else realize Antigua is pronounced Ant-ee-gah, not Ant-tee-gwah? The things we learn from "The Bachelorette.")
Des likes Drew a lot. "His abs, his eyes, his face, his body …." Oh, she could go on and on. But more than how hot he is, Des appreciates his humbleness and honesty.
Meanwhile, Drew is head-over-heels in love with this woman. "I finally found the one, my soulmate," he gushes. He'd get down on one knee that very night if the producers would let him.
Unfortunately, that's not how this game works. They continue on their date, which gets rained out, so the couple hits the fantasy suite early. Des offers him the fantasy suite date card, and he accepts. The door closes on Drew and Des making out like teenagers.
Overnight Date: Chris
After all these seasons of "Bachelor/ette," we figured out their double talk. If the lead says, "I love so many qualities about [name]," it's good, but not great. In this case, we already know Des loves Brooks, but she still has very strong feelings for Chris. But he's still in the "so many qualities" camp.
Des loves that Chris is masculine, but goofy. They have great physical chemistry (read: she likes to make out with him).
Meanwhile, Chris, like Drew, is in love. "I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with Des," he sighs.
They share a helicopter ride, then roll around kissing in the surf on a private island for awhile. That evening, over dinner, Chris broaches the topic of where they'd live if things worked out between them. He's got a nice job in Seattle and views it as an ideal place to raise a family. Des hems and haws a bit, but says she's open to living anywhere.
She offers him a fantasy suite card, and Chris takes it. Then, he busts out yet another poem (groan) declaring his undying love. Des tears up. "Chris truly is perfect for me in so many ways," she says. But is he perfect for her in all ways?
Overnight Date: Brooks
Well, this is different: We see Brooks still in Salt Lake City, brooding over his unresolved feelings for Desiree. Then, he flies to Idaho to chat with his mom and sister about it all. They tell him he knows in his heart what he needs to do. Uh oh.
Brooks arrives in Antigua and meets with Chris Harrison. Double uh oh. Brooks admits that while he wants to love Desiree (and loves "so many things" about her), he's not crazy in love with her.
Chris Harrison asks if Brooks is 100 percent sure, or still needs time with Des to figure things out. And maybe Brooks is just afraid of commitment? But no — Brooks says he's been in love before, and that's not how he feels about Des. Yikes.
Meanwhile, Des is getting ready for her date with Brooks, with no clue that her entire world is about to fall apart. She's giddy about seeing the guy again. "I'm in love with Brooks and I miss him every day when I'm not with him," she says. So, so painful.
Brooks meets her at a pier, and Des instantly senses something is wrong. Maybe it's because he can barely hold back tears.
After some nonsensical conversation, Brooks tells all. "I really want to be madly in love with you," he whispers. But, um, he's not. Desiree's face falls and her eyes fill up with tears. She starts to sob, and Brooks awkwardly hugs her.
"For once in my life I was so hopeful. I never felt completely loved," Des cries. "It just sucks that I loved you. I do love you, regardless."
This stuns Brooks. He didn't know; she was planning to tell him that day. But it doesn't really matter anyway. Nothing he can do or say is going to make it any better. "Sorry, I'll shut up. I'm not helping," Brooks says. No, you're not. And why do guys always try to comfort the girls they just dumped? Not useful.
They bid each other a tearful farewell, with Des running back to the scene of the breakup crime to weep some more. Brooks curses and cries as he gets in the limo to drive away.
He hopes she finds love, but that doesn't seem likely. Des was so into him. Her feelings for the other guys clearly pale in comparison. As she even admits, "Honestly, for me, it's over."
Well, clearly not, since there's another part to this finale. Will Brooks change his mind at the last minute? Will Des wake up, smell the roses, and realize Drew or Chris is the one for her? Or will she pull a Brad Womack and not choose anybody?
This really might be. The. Most. Dramatic. Finale. Ever.
Check out reactions from Twitter, and then sound off in the comments below.
Brooks must come back next week. How could she pick a 2nd place dude now? If I was the other 2 dudes, I'd be pissed. #Bachelorette— butta (@butta) July 30, 2013
Watch the full episode:
"The Bachelorette" airs Mondays at 8 PM on ABC.