Savvy movie fans know you can learn a lot from a trailer — and savvy Bachelor fans know the same applies to the epic "This season on The Bachelor" tease that unspools at the end of every season's premiere. With well-to-do farmer Chris Soules set to begin his "journey" as the Bachelor beginning Jan. 5 at 8 p.m. on ABC, Yahoo TV has an exclusive first look at the nearly five-minute preview of the new season. It's got everything you'd expect — kissing, crying, drinking, skinny-dipping, and shooting — but it also includes several key clues about how the "ladies" featured in the trailer will fare this season. Our top five takeaways:
Strengths: This guidance counselor from Texas has at least one thing going for her: She was smart enough to bust out the "I feel so lucky" chestnut. If 18 seasons of The Bachelor has taught us anything, it's that the guy holding the roses needs to be told early and often that the "ladies" are there for him, and they wouldn't dream of being anywhere else — like, say, back at work (if they even still have a job) or at home with their children.
Weaknesses: Sounds awfully schoolmarmish when she scolds Chris with, "I know what you did." Heads up, Kelsey: Only guys with mommy issues like to be put in the naughty corner by their date.
Odds of "winning": 5-2
Strengths: The Bachelor seems to enjoy it when Whitney grabs his face and plants one right on his lips.
Weaknesses: Well, her little-girl voice, for one thing — which is perhaps why we're not buying her delivery of "The feelings are real for me." And she definitely makes some enemies in the house: "I've just never had anyone ever talk to me like that, ever," she whimpers.
Odds of "winning": 3-1
Strengths: The Bachelor sure does look smitten when he stares into the dance instructor's eyes and declares, "This is what I've been waiting for." And based on the clip it looks like she stays long enough to visit Chris's home state of Iowa.
Weaknesses: Unless Kelsey's the chick who takes off her bikini bottoms and sneaks into Chris's tent on the group date (and we don't think she is), there really isn't anything bad to say about Kaitlyn based on this trailer. That said, her official ABC bio reveals that she has five tattoos, which seems a little extreme for Iowa.
Odds of "winning": 2-1
Strengths: Well, producers must have liked this make-up artist, since they used her romantic kiss with Chris (complete with a whispered, "This is amazing,") to close out the "Fairy Tale" portion of the trailer.
Weaknesses: When the Bachelor sighs heavily and tells you "This is not easy" (as he does with Megan at the 2:51 mark), smart money says you're going home.
Odds of "winning": 30-1
Strengths: Somehow the Hollywood-based waitress manages to look pretty even when she's crying. More importantly, Chris obviously likes making out with her.
Weaknesses: "Women Chris likes making out with" is clearly not a select group. (See next entry.)
Odds of "winning": 15-1
Strengths: Host Chris Harrison told Yahoo TV that this nanny and self-proclaimed virgin has a "healthy libido" — which she demonstrates in this trailer, telling the Bachelor, "I could honestly make out with you all day."
Weaknesses: Her aggressive kissing style is really quite off-putting, as are her false lashes. (When she cries it looks like two cartoon spiders are about to emerge from her eye sockets.)
Odds of "winning": 9-2
Strengths: The special education teacher gets the two best soundbites in the entire clip: "I'm about to freak out," and "F--k you all! All y'all!"
Weaknesses: We're pretty sure this farmer won't take a potty-mouthed wife.
Odds of "winning": 50-1
So place your bets, rose lovers. Do you think any of these women will make it to the final two? (And if you've read the spoilers, please keep them to yourself in the comments section.)
The Bachelor premieres Monday, Jan. 5 at 8 p.m. on ABC.