'American Idol' Top 5 Results: A New Twist Backfires Spectacularly… and Hilariously!

 Something unprecedented happened on this Thursday's "American Idol" results show. And by "unprecedented," I mean TOTALLY HILARIOUS.

A bit of background here: No one can say the "Idol" producers didn't do everything in their power to push their transparent Sam Woolf agenda this season. They gave their golden boy the Judges' Save, even though he'd been in the bottom three multiple times and had no real shot of winning. They always gave Sam the gentlest of critiques, practically praising him just for showing up and trying, while other contestants (coughJessicaMeusecough) were slammed even on their best nights. The judges (Jennifer Lopez, mostly) constantly gushed about Sam's pinup-worthy cuteness, and camera operators made sure to cut to audience close-ups of fawning tween girls whenever Sam was onstage. Short of reinstating the Judges' Save every week (just in case it needed to be used on Sam again), the producers did everything they could to push him to the finale.

[Photos: "American Idol’s" Contestants Take Over Yahoo Music's Instagram]

But on this Thursday's top five results show, "Idol's" latest (very mean, very "Hunger Games"-ish) ploy backfired spectacularly — and comically. I am actually still laughing as I type this.

"We've got a dramatic proposal for all of you… tonight, the power is in your hands," Ryan Seacrest told the contestants Thursday. "You can decide that the person with the lowest number of votes will go home tonight, like usual — or you can decide that no one goes home and you all stay together! But that decision comes with a price… because that means two of you will go home next week."

"Idol" had never done this before, in all 13 seasons. And Ryan didn't explain why all of a sudden, the show was introducing this new twist. Why now? Oh, it was pretty obvious why: Sam must've gotten the fewest votes. Again. And the producers wanted to save him. Again.

The suspense surged and the eyes rolled as Ryan passed out secret ballots, cruelly asking the contestants to fill them out — and stressing that the vote had to be unanimous.

Clearly the producers assumed that this top five, who'd just finished adorably babbling about how much they love each other and are one big happy family, would unanimously vote to stay together for another blissful week — thus effectively vetoing America's decision. But no! Two anonymous dissenters had the guts to stand up to this nonsense, and they voted to just go ahead with a regular elimination. Good for them.

Like I said: HILARIOUS. Nice try, "Idol." But it was Sam's time to go.

So, yes… it was back to business as usual, and Sam went home in fifth place. Ha. But Ryan never revealed who else was in the bottom two this week. So there was probably another reason for this stupid historical twist: It might have been a very popular contestant that the show's powers-that-be didn't want tainted by the stink of a surprise bottom-two showing. Could it have been Jena Irene? Alex Preston? Caleb Johnson? All I can assume is, it wasn't Jessica.

However, we do know which two contestants were behind those controversial "no" votes, as revealed to the press later backstage: It was Jena and Alex. This was understandable, coming from two frontrunners who didn't have much to worry about going into this week's results show. Hopefully, Alex and Jena will remain frontrunners after this debacle, and not end up the target of a backlash from "Woolf Pack" fans who blame them for Sam's elimination.

Truly, "American Idol" put all of the contestants in an awkward position this week, and it was not right. And that's nothing to laugh about. Parker out.

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